Cloud

'Diary Entry 5,261'

[𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢! 𝙷𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝!

𝙾𝚔, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘, 𝚕𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚕, (𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝).

𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙, 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚕. 𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚂𝙾 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳!

𝙸𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚖, 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚡!

𝙷𝚖𝚙𝚑! 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚍. 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐!

𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚖𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎, 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚏.

𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚊 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝! 𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍!

𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘.

𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛! 𝙰𝚑! 𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚎! 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢! 𝙼𝚆𝙰𝙷, 𝙱𝚈𝙴 𝙱𝚈𝙴 𝙺𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙴𝚂❥❥!]

I finished up my diary entry with a quick click onto the save button.

I know it's weird to talk to an inanimate thing like it's a person but, and I know it sounds corny or cliche or whatever, my diary has been my best friend ever since I was nine.

You see, I was adopted by the King family when I was seven.

And even though I was young, I was going through a lot. I was bullied in foster care and my only friend wasn't strong enough to protect me.

I was depressed, shy, anxious. I felt my stomach churn every time a person talked to me. I slept under my bed instead of on it and I couldn't hold a conversation to save my pathetic life.

But no matter what I did the King's accepted me. That's when I realized I was being selfish, greedy, insensitive. The King's saved me when I never deserved it.

I had a duty to do everything I could to my saviors. I got the best grades so I never embarrassed them, I did my best in extracurricular activities and I won awards in many different contests to bring pride to their name.

But I knew I didn't belong there with them. I knew I was ugly and I didn't deserve to be on this earth and so many dark thoughts.

But my sister Naveah King helped me build my self-esteem. She gave me pep talks and helped me find my own style. She even introduced me to her modeling company! She's the one who made me who I am! They all were.

But I never told her about the dark thoughts though. I still have them, even though I have nothing I should be sad about. I really am ungrateful.

They like to rear their ugly heads mostly at night but I just shove them deep, deep down inside.

Anyway, I do whatever I can to show them how much I love them.

I gave Naveah any good jobs and convinced photographers to choose her instead. I gave my other sister Aurora any jewelry I had.

I helped my brother Johnny by drinking with potential partners for the company. I kowtowed in front of my other brother's girlfriend's house for her forgiveness after Johnny made a mistake, sixty-two times.

But it's not that bad, REALLY!

He has a problem but he's getting help. He's a good person honest he just dosen't always make the best descions.

Anyway, the point to my endless rambling is.

I'll do anything for them.

But as I said before, I got my diary at nine from my therapist and I can confide it anytime. I did, every day for nearly fifteen years.

It makes me feel so much better. But after the paper diaries starting getting full faster, and faster I transferred them to my computer.

It'll be like my little legacy when I die. That's what I like to think.

Wait, damn it, I got really sidetracked I was going to talk to my friend Jamie. You know that friend I said I had in foster care? That's Jamie. He tried to protect me but he's just an innocent little cutie pie.

Well he was, I realized he grew up a bit when we got back in contact. After we lost it when I was adopted.

But he's still a small little bean, my small little bean. He's pale with big brown eyes, fluffy platinum blonde hair, a little nose, plump lips, and the most squeezable, squishable, kissable, cheeks ever to be conceived.

Oh, what am I still droning on for? I need to call him!

I quickly initiated a video call and drummed my fingers on my laptop in anticipation. Come on, pick up! I need to see my little honey! I need to tell him the big news!

When he finally excepted, I saw his cute little face pop up quickly and I squealed, "Hi cloud!"