This feeling again!? II

"Lilian de Clermont, it is my pleasure to meet you", a warm voice, rough and deep, which somehow reminded me of dark chocolate, poured its wings across the piano music that filled the theater. Everything faded into the background, there was only this dangerous voice, which caused all my alarm bells to blast out inside my head. So loud, I thought a whole symphony orchestra would fill the empty space in my head. I stood there stiff as a rock and stumbled hardly back a moment later. I couldn't even see his face, only his outline. A figure tall and imposing, surrounded only by shadows. Strange that not even the spotlights of the stage made it up to here. And yet they were the only source of light that didn't make me tremble in total darkness.

I stumbled backwards.

But the door behind me slammed shut again just as fast as I wanted to escape. I crashed into the polished wood. The door was closed, and I stood with my back to the wall. I didn't even try to open the door again because there were two Mount Everest's waiting behind it. I could never conquer them. Not even with Elodie's help.

I flinched, feeling like an animal cornered. Without a sight of a way out.

Whoever he was, he was no ordinary customer of this nightclub. He knew my name. Not my fake name, my real name!

This fact alone scared me so damn much that I feared for my life. I feared for my life quite fast. Strange, isn't it?

Every day I asked myself anew whether it was really worth crawling out of bed for another day. Actually, I didn't really want all this. Even in this life I was alone once more. For whom should I continue all this? For the money? That was not really a reason to keep going? In my first life it couldn't hold me? Why now?

No, there was something else? A feeling. If I had to describe it in words, I couldn't. I knew there was still this insanely thin thread that bound me to this life. I could not let go yet.

"Please sit down." He pointed at the arm chair across of him. "You don't have to be afraid of me," he said out of the darkness. "I am informed of your situation and would like to make you an offer."

My legs were frozen, my mind fortunately not.

I tried to get a grip on this sudden chaos in my head. But the only result my pea brain came to was: DANGER!

This man meant trouble.

His words were not really reassuring. I didn't know this man. Wasn't it obvious, I had to be on guard around him. Especially if he knew my real identity. What else did he know? Would he sell this information if I did not respond to his offer. In my eyes he was the most dangerous man I had ever met. So I was allowed to tremble like a bunny. The tray slipped out of my fingers. Glass smashed at my feet. The sinfully expensive champagne rushed across the parquet floor. White foam gathered in front of the tips of my black stilettos. The herb scent of alcohol rose up.

"Careful." Warm breath grazed the tip of my nose. Two silver hurricanes caught my gaze, wild and bewitching. For a split second there was that feeling again. This déjà vu feeling, having already sunk into these eyes. Foreign and familiar at the same time.

Shocked, I looked away. But suddenly there were hands tightly wrapped around my center. Unbelieving, my eyes got caught in his. I felt losing the ground under my feet. For seconds, I floated while he held me.

Insecurity and panic ran through my bloodstream like a roller coaster, I was already dizzy, almost sick. My pulse jumped higher and higher as I became aware of my current state.

Did I ever mention I was afraid of heights? Fear of heights was not the right term to describe it, I would rather call it anxiety of people, male humans who wanted to lift me up. I did not trust them. For exactly this one reason. In my first life, during my school days, there was this accident. Pretty humiliating.

I was on a graduation trip with my class. We sneaked out of the hotel to party.

For the first time I had tasted alcohol and this time I thought I would manage to confess my feelings to him. There was this guy from my class. My first love. However, before our love had a real chance, this incident happened.

I think the alcohol was not entirely innocent in this. Though in fact that guy was so a dumbass, first he wanted to lift me up like a princess, when seconds later he let me crash on the floor. All because those sexy ladies showed up. Within seconds my love died as I found myself on the sticky club floor with an awful backache. My first phobia was born. Thanks!!!

Naturally, now I found myself rowing through the air with my arms, searching for something to hold on to and screaming like a stabbed pig. All in order to cling to the first object that came near me.

I was terrified. As my fingers buried in soft hair, clutching it.

A roar, a painful whine rang out. "Let go!" So loud that I grabbed it even harder. Out of pure fear, I didn't even think of letting go, pulling his head even closer. Clinging to it. All I could think of was - I'm falling!!!

My grip became even tighter. I felt something warm nestle between my breasts. But even now I didn't think about it, all I could do was press myself even closer onto him. In my head was nothing except this absolute fear of falling.

Choked sounds crawled out of my boobs. But I barely had time to deal with all these impressions as he already tried to push me from himself. Automatically my legs tied around his torsos. Then something began to move under my breasts, my gaze wandered to a black tuft hidden between my chest.

A man in a tailor-made black suit suffocated between my boobs.

Shame spread within me. I suddenly had the desire to die.

Again!