Chapter 20.1

"He wants to start his own family soon," she looked up at her friend.

"Then isn't your decision selfish? I mean, you enjoy dating, but he wants to start a family. That's already a point of conflict going forward," he explained carefully.

As Tina was in deep thought about what Jerry had said, the food arrived on the table. The restaurant he picked was a self-service barbeque spot where you choose your meat and grill them yourself.

"How did you meet your wife?" she asked as she watched him place the meat on the grill.

Instantly, Jerry broke into a smile probably recalling that moment.

"You know, the reason I left abruptly back then was because my parents got a divorce," he said with his focus on the grill.

Tina was taken back when he said that. Jerry's parents had such a good relationship and they were always very welcoming. They also attended all the PTA meetings together.

"I know what you're thinking. They were the perfect couple. I thought so back then and the moment I learned about the divorce, I was destabilized."

"Turned out that they were just really good at co-parenting and everyone else just misunderstood that they were a loving couple. Since high school was over already, they broke the news to me and I went abroad with my mom," he continued.

"It was very hard on me, you know. All of a sudden, my family broke apart and I had to live in a foreign country with no friends. My dad came over every two months or so. Seeing them both move on happily made me resent them a lot. If they weren't going to stay together, why did they have me then?"

"I was young and couldn't wrap my head around what had happened. So, I ended up picking up some bad habits. I partied late, smoked, drank, and one thing led to the other, I became a bully with a bunch of others."

"That life went on for three years or so. Until we got nabbed by the police. I met my wife during my community service for probation. She volunteered at the animal shelter I was placed."

She never imagined that Jerry had that kind of story. He looked so put together now and never in a thousand years would she have imagined that he picked up bad habits and mingled with bad company.

"Was it love at first sight?" Tina asked when she saw his smile when he spoke about his wife.

He shook his head, "not at all. I can't remember who said what to who, but we bickered about something irrelevant on our first meeting. Every other time we met, we always bickered. Oh! how she got on my nerves."

"It went on for quite a while, but then I realized that on the days she wasn't there, I felt empty. I missed her face, her voice, our bickering, our silent interactions. On the days when she was around, I would note her little actions, her manners, her habits, and her smile."

"Then one day, I sat next to her on one of the benches placed outside after my work was done for the day. We got to chat without bickering. Like that, I got to know her, and we became really good friends. At the end of my probation, I approached her as a man and voila! Married with children."

As he completed his story, he placed a plate in front of her and served her some meat from the grill.

"Did your parents' marriage influence your relationship or how you thought about marriage?" she asked.

"It definitely did. There were several times I doubted her love for me. My thought was that the person who loved the most was the loser in the relationship. My parents' relationship looked great on the surface but empty within. I thought her love for me what like that also."

"I still get insecure sometimes, but she never fails to reassure me. I asked her if it was tiring, and she said no because she's trying to understand me and hopes that one day, I'll be able to be at peace and be assured."

"I also didn't want to get married at first. Marriage seemed very superficial to me like two people deceiving each other and deceiving others. I just wanted to love her in that moment without worrying about marriage or our future. The day we talked about it was the day we have our first argument."

"She didn't want to be with a man who didn't think or work towards a better future. She didn't want to live carelessly. She wanted comfort, warmth, family and a home she could come back to, and if I wasn't going to give her that, she was better off being single."

"After we both calmed down, we talked about it again. She was too important to me, so I got myself together so she could depend on me."

The rest of the dinner went on as normal and the two friends reminisced about the past. At intervals, he'd get baby pictures from his wife and then go on to brag about his daughters being geniuses.

The dinner ended around 9:30.

"Just go home and think about it. I know your parents' situation has had a psychological effect on you, but that doesn't necessarily project onto your relationship or future unless you let it. It's not only about you this time, it's about your lover also," he said briefly before they parted.

Like Jeff instructed, there were no overly intimate contacts with Jerry. She did give him a side hug before getting into the car, but she couldn't just wave off her friend like that, could she? She thought again about the conversation she just had and tried to liken it to her parents.

Unlike Jerry's parents, hers were in love, just that the crack in between them got bigger and bigger over the years as both parties didn't properly tend to it.

What she was scared of initially was that Jeff's family would be like Martha. Unexpectedly, she met them early on in their relationship and that fear was wiped away. Sia and Mrs. Strider were nothing like Martha.

Her other fear was one that they had no control over: an argument that would cause them to drift away from each other. She didn't want a crack in their relationship that was going to be irreparable especially after marriage.

She feared that she'd be like her mom, staying in the marriage for her children after losing hope in her husband. She wanted to stay because she loved him, but she didn't want a life where she was constantly thinking about staying or leaving. She just wanted to be with him for life.

Was that possible?

Upon getting home, she went about her night routine, and her day ended up with her call with Jeff.

"Hey babe. How did your meeting go?" He asked as soon as the videocall got connected.

"It wasn't bad. We caught up and had loads of meat. It was nice seeing him again."

"That's good. Did you maintain a respectable distance?" He asked again, squinting his eyes at her.

"I gave him a side hug."

Side hug???

"A side hug is still a hug," he said unhappily.

"Haha, well, next time it won't happen, okay?"

Even though she said that, she didn't look like she meant it.

"I'll believe you for now."

"What did you do today? I called your office earlier and Bob said you never came in," she asked, tidying up her hair before walking towards the bed.

"Bob told on me? What an amazing assistant he his. Already currying favor with my wife. Nice one."

Tina laughed and suddenly felt bad for Bob. What a petty boss her man was.

"I just spent a 'guys day out' with my dad. It'd been a while we did that." He didn't want to lie to her, so he removed the part where her father was also involved in the outing.

"Did you have fun then?"

"I did."

Then for a while, they just looked at each other and smiled.

"Do you think there will ever come a day that we'll have an argument so big it affects our relationship?" she suddenly asked.