Big and White

At the Odd Jobs, Hiroto, Gin, and Shinpachi were inside the shop, which is also the home of Hiroto, Kagura, and Gin. Lazing around the living room, Gin was currently asleep with a Jump! Magazine over his face. Shinpachi was sweeping the floor, and just doing the general chores.

Hiroto in the meanwhile was… also doing nothing. "Ahhhh, I'm bored." Hiroto grumbled, leaning the office desk under a big sign that read, 'Sugar Content'.

"There's nothing we can do," Shinpachi said, sweeping the floor. "We haven't been getting many clients as of lately."

"Hmm. Say, where's Kagura?" Hiroto said, still resting his body over the office desk.

"She went out to buy more toilet paper," Shinpachi said mindlessly.

On the tv next to the desk facing the couches showed the face of a woman reporting on the events of an Amanto prince arriving at the Terminal in the heart of the city.

"Hey, look. It's that guy, the guy's backstory that we skipped over." Hiroto said, pointing to the tv.

"Yea, you're right. But now we have a problem." Shinpachi said, rubbing his temples. "How are the readers supposed to know about the prince? We basically glossed over him."

"Meh, who cares. If people are reading this novel, then that means they already know what Gintama is, as well as the characters. If they don't, then they have a problem with their brain." Hiroto said nonchalantly.

"You can't say that! The readers will get pissed at you!" Shinpachi shouted.

"I don't care, I'm not the one they'll get angry at." Hiroto shrugged and went to the toilet.

*snoreee* Gin continued to snore, not paying attention to anything.

The door at the front of the home opened, as Kagura walked in.

"Ah, welcome back." Shinpachi greeted Kagura. "Did you get the toilet paper?"

"Here you go." Kagura handed over a single roll of toilet paper. A singular… roll.

"Kagura, listen��" Shinpachi said with a twitching expression. "Don't people usually buy them in packs of several rolls? What if someone gets the big "D"? No way will this be enough?"

"Quit nagging about the toilet paper!" Kagura said, narrowing her eyes, "What are you, my mother-in-law? There are poor samurai in this world who use newspapers for toilet paper!"

As the two began to argue, Gin groggily woke up from the ruckus, rubbing his eyes. He saw Shinpachi and Kagura arguing with each other, but next to them, he saw a giant white dog just sitting there.

"Eh?" Gin muttered, rubbing his eyes several times.

"Don't act as you know it all when your butt is still green, you idol otaku!" Kagura shouted.

"What?! You're younger than me!" Shinpachi retorted.

"Oi! Shinpachi! My ass is gonna be brown if you don't pass me that roll of toilet paper!" Hiroto shouted but was then ignored.

"Shinpachi, what's that white thing?" Gin asked groggily.

"What else? Toilet paper." Shinpachi answered.

"Not that! The big white one!" Gin said, pointing next to Shinpachi.

Hiroto spoke up from the bathroom again. "Um, guys. I need the toilet paper."

Shinpachi looked exhausted and said, "Can you quit talking about dirty stuff like "big thing" or "little thing"? It's because of the way you talk that kagura is-"

"Gyaaa! What is this?!" Shinpachi shouted, finally seeing the big white dog that was taller than him sat right next to him.

"I found it outside. Isn't it cute?" Kagura said, scratching the dog's chin.

"Um, guys? Hello? Toilet paper?" Hiroto asked again.

"Forget where it was! If you're gonna pick something up, at least know what it is!" Gin shouted.

"Sadaharu," Kagura answered.

Shinpachi pointed at Kagura and shouted, "You just named it! You totally made that name up just now!"

While the others were arguing and talking about the big white dog, Hiroto sat in the toilet, looking at the empty roll of toilet paper that was just a piece of rolled cardboard.

"..." Hiroto stared at the rolled cardboard. Contemplating his life choices.

"... I shouldn't… But desperate times… call for desperate measures." Hiroto muttered to himself, ripping the cardboard and flattening it.

[Intermission]

*flush*

Stepping out of the bathroom, Hiroto shouted, "Oi you ungrateful bastards! I asked for toilet paper, and why can't you just simply hand it ov-"

*chomp*

"Eh? Why did it get so dark?" Hiroto muttered, feeling his hand around. Feeling a soft sensation, Hiroto grabbed onto what seemed like fur.

"What's this? This the place get decorated? Why does it stink in here?" Hiroto muttered.

"Hiroto! It ate Hiroto!" Shinpachi shouted, pointing towards the dog, Sadaharu, with Hiroto's head in its mouth.

"He's just playing," Kagura said.

"Hm? A dog? Am I being eaten?" Hiroto said, pulling his hand back and grabbing where the jaws of the dog were, prying it open with ease as Sadaharu tried to force his mouth closed.

"Eh… Why is there a big ass dog here?" Hiroto said.

"It's Sadaharu! He's my new pet!" Kagura answered, hugging Sadaharu's neck. She then handed a letter towards Hiroto.

"Hm? You read it." Hiroto handed it to Shinpachi as he walked passed the couches and sat back behind the office desk.

"Let's see…" Shinpachi opened the letter, reading it out loud. "To Odd Jobs Hiroto and Gin. I'm very sorry, but please take my pet in."

"... is that all?" Gin answered grumpily.

Shinpachi read the last line. " "LOL" in parenthesis."

"How can I be laughing! I'm "Mad" in parenthesis!" Gin shouted out, ripping the paper apart.

"Oi, don't cause such a ruckus," Hiroto said, leaning back in his chair and resting his feet on the table.

"The dog was abandoned and dumped onto us!" Gin shouted towards Hiroto, pointing at the dog. "We're not a charity! Get rid of it Kagura. Now! Shoo! Shoo!"

"Nuh-uh! We abandon it in this heartless town, it'll die!" Kagura shouted.

"Well, Gin survived, so maybe it can too," Hiroto added.

"Shut up if you aren't going to help. And why are you so relaxed? This concerns you as well!" Gin shouted.

"The person you are trying to contact is currently away or not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep… be-"

*DING*

"Ow!" Hiroto rubbed his forehead as Gin threw the Jump! Magazine at him.

"How's that for a message!" Gin smirked. "Besides, Sadaharu will do just fine. You understand, don't you, Sadaha-"

*chomp*

"Uughh" Gin muttered, as his head was now inside Sadaharu's mouth.

"So that's what it looked like," Hiroto said, nodding his head.

Forcing himself out of Sadaharu's jaws, Gin sat back down on the couch and sighed, "Anyway, until we find someone to adopt him, I'll allow Shigeo to stay here."

"Oh, look at big boss Gin over here. Do you want a light as well, boss?" Hiroto mimicked the voice of an underling talking to a yakuza boss.

"It's not Shigeo, it's Sadaharu." Shinpachi corrected Gin.

Hiroto stood up and walked to the front door, preparing to leave. "Whatever you decide to do, come to an agreement by the end of the day. In the meantime, try not to create a mess while I'm gone, I just got a message for another job."

"Hm? Another job? Who's it from this time?" Gin asked, leaning back on his couch.

"Tsk, I'm not telling you," Hiroto said, frowning.

"Ah! It's from that place again, huh? So you finally decided to go help out? Make sure you rake in as much money as you can from those people." Gin said with a sly smirk.

"Yeah, and I won't give any to you." Hiroto retorted, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Gin, what job is he going to do?" Shinpachi asked.

Gin smiled and said, "Hehe, it's a host club. They've been pestering Hiroto ever since they saw his face on TV with the Shinsengumi while they were dealing with a drunk. When they found out who and what we are, they kept calling Hiroto to come and help them out."

"Eh? Host Club?" Kagura muttered, laying on top of Sadaharu. "What is he gonna do there? Host a party?"

"Hmm, well, it's a place women go to get attention. So he'll just have to play nice and make them feel special." Gin answered, totally ignoring Kagura's age.