Perfectly Imperfect

Calvin stopped the car in front of Marcus' house. He had already dropped off Luis and Michelle, and Jeff would be the only one remaining after Marcus alighted. However, he was surprised to see Jeff get out of the car with Marcus.

"You live together?" he asked, confused.

"No," Jeff replied hurriedly. "I'm just in his house for a sleepover."

Calvin nodded at him, not giving the matter much thought.

"Alright then. Have a splendid night," he waved them goodbye.

"You too," the boys answered as they closed the doors. Calvin then restarted the car and drove off, with Marcus and Jeff proceeding to the house.

The boys entered the house with the intention of rushing to their room and discussing what had happened at the ranch, but they stopped abruptly at the door when they saw their guests.

It was Jeff's mother, Mary, and his sister, Winnie. They were sitting at the couch, in conversation with Jane. Their heads went to the door upon the boys' arrival. Mary looked as if she had been crying, and Winnie's face was just there, as confused as always.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Jeff began, apprehensive about whatever that was about to happen. Marcus' mother stood up and called at her son to follow her. Marcus then nodded at his best friend and left with his mother, leaving the Andersons alone in the living room.

"My son," Mary broke the uneasy silence, standing up and facing her son, tears in her eyes.

"If you've come to kick me out of here too then I'm sorry, but you don't have any authority here," Jeff looked away.

As much as he tried to keep his face straight, it really hurt him to see his mother as miserable as she was at the moment. For years Jeff had managed to maintain that mask; that mask that had assured his parents that everything was fine with their son; that mask that covered a face full of misery and agony. However, that mask had slowly started to peel off when he came out to his parents, revealing his true nature.

"Jefferson," his mother went on, unrelenting. "I cannot begin to say how much my heart has been empty since you left the house. Your poor mother has suffered greatly."

"So what am I supposed to do? Pray that you have another son to fill your heart once more?' he asked, his tone disrespectful, though intentionally. He had to show them that he was doing better, that he could move on without them, although his heart was just as empty.

"No, my son," Mary answered, letting the tears flow freely. "I don't want another son. I still have you."

"Well, you lost me the day you kicked me out of your house; out of your lives," Jeff answered, his eyes turning red and watery.

"I still haven't lost you, my son. Come back home with us," his mother said.

"No, I can't. We all know dad won't allow me back there," Jeff responded.

"Dad's left us," Winnie, Jeff's sister, spoke. Jeff's face was one in shock as his eyes turned back to his mother, asking her to confirm that statement.

"Yes, he did," Mary admitted. "I gave him a choice: you or his service to God. He didn't even think twice. He just packed and left to God knows where."

"Seems like he certainly knows where his priorities are," Jeff commented, his heart broken as the realisation dawned on him that his father would choose religion over his family.

"But you can now come back home. All is well now, isn't it?" asked his mother.

"No, it isn't. What will the church say? What about those women's groups you have, won't they kick you out?" Jeff raised a concern.

"The church isn't the one raising my son for goodness sake!" Mary cried out, throwing her hands in exasperation.

Jeff couldn't control his tears any longer. He broke down, tears flowing freely.

"Mother, I can't. I'm not the perfect son you always wanted," he spoke.

Mary stepped forward to embrace him.

"I never asked for a perfect son. All these little imperfections are what make me proud of you. You're my perfectly imperfect angel. Now, will you come home with us?" she explained, her eyes locked into Jeff's.

The joy in that living room was immeasurable when Jeff slowly nodded. Tears of joy were the order of that evening as the three pulled closer into a comforting hug. Even Winnie shed a tear, something she rarely did for her brother. It wasn't until after a long while that they broke the hug.

"Now I know I won't be leaving mom alone when I go to MIT on September," Winnie broke the news to her younger brother. Jeff's face lit up in surprise as he widened his eyes at his sister.

"Oh my God! They accepted you?' Jeff pulled Winnie in for one more hug as she nodded.

"This is such a happy day! Go and pick your things up, Jefferson. I made today's chicken just the way you always like it," Mary told her son.

"I can't wait to reach home," Jeff spoke as he rushed to the bedroom to pick up his belongings and say his goodbyes.

***

It was well into the night. The Andersons had finished eating their supper and were now in their bedrooms. Jeff was in his own room, his mind absorbed in its own thoughts. He looked up and glanced at the cross on the wall, with a wooden sculpture of Jesus hung from it. His eyes were fixated for long upon it, until he decided to do what in years he thought he'd never do willingly; kneel down in prayer.

He tried holding his hands together but they suddenly became too stiff. He tried closing his eyes but they shot open as soon as the memories of all the horror movies he'd ever watched came flooding back. In the end, he decided to look up to the ceiling, his hands held together.

"Hey there, Big Man," he began, instantly questioning whether 'Big Man' was a good choice of words.

"I know that it's been long since you heard from me, and probably the last time you heard from me was in that youth meeting where I was asking you to strike that boring pastor with lightning—still should have done that though. But what I'm trying to say is that I've done a lot of bad things in my past, and I probably deserved what my father did to me. So what I'm asking is for you to be there with me. Send your Holy Spirit thingy to protect me and the ones I love. I know you discourage being gay, but I'm pretty sure Luis is the right one for me, so I hope you don't judge me too much on that one, but you know homophobia is so nineteenth century. That's it, God, I think so."

Jeff started to stand up, but he remembered something and immediately went back on his knees.

"I got a couple of more requests to add, that is if you don't mind. First of all, I want you to help us find who murdered Sheila. This thing is turning out to be a wild goose chase. Also, bring my father back home, will you? And when you do, please shed some light on him so that he can stop being so judgemental. Goodbye...I mean, Amen."

Jeff then stood up, satisfied with himself. He walked over to the desk on his bedroom and sat down, opening his diary to write down the day's entry. He glanced at the blank notepad, his mind racing back through the day's events, trying to find a suitable title for the entry. A smile formed on his face as he grabbed a pen and wrote the title:

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT