Acknowledgments:

Acknowledgments:

To the countless bards and sages whose one liners my characters shamelessly cribbed, you have my thanks. From William Goldman, to the Bard, to George Lucas, and the countless others who's words make the American dialect the wonder and joy it is. Thank you.

To the friends and family who aided me as literary guinea pigs, I could not have finished this without your criticism and support. My sister, who despite despising the subject matter and content I created, stuck with a full draft proof edit until it was done. My friend Ed, was invaluable in ironing out some of my logic. But primus must be my friend Mat. Mat who saw a human in my monster Nom, understood him, and took a long journey with him. Thank you.

To the idiots of the world and America: Thank you for forcing me to never have to stretch my imagination. Whether you be far to the right or left, an anti-equality feminist, religious nut, or just plain stupid I owe you a debt of gratitude. It seems that your inability to find the bottom to your cess pool has left me with limitless inspiration.

Lastly, I want to thank all of the evil, vile, and unpleasant people I have ever personally known. While I can't think of any specific characters any specific individual inspired, I assure you that your existence provided stimulus. Thank you for being the soulless swine you were and are. My mind could never obtain more than the briefest glimpse of your Mephistophelian thinking, but I hope I have brought honor to your good deeds with my work.

Arthur Thomas VanDelay

Arthur Thomas VanDelay is a figment of your imagination. He feeds on thoughts of discontent, irritation, and obsession. Occasionally, he agrees to be present in reality, on these rare occasions he tends to corporeally manifest in Michigan and the desserts of Arizona. His mantra is one of simple elegance: "I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid, I irritate assholes.