Guilt

"Excuse me, two cakes and one cup of tea to this table please.." Nihan called out to the waiter boy. Besides them, there were only three or four people in the cafe. It comforted her. After some time, the waiter boy served a large plate of cakes and a glass of tea on their desk.

"Aunt, eat something.." she moved the plate and glass towards the women.

"I don't want anything dear"

"No, that's not going to happen. If you don't care of your own health, your son will worry, won't he?" The women was silent. And this Silence lasted a few seconds. Nihan moved her chair towards her to sit close to her.

"Aunt" Nihan tried to be calm and more gentle. "we both know that varun will not come back to life." Just before her words were finished, a cry was heard. Nihan gave her a side hug to support her.

"I really don't want to make you sad. Do you want him to suffer like this?" The women looked at her impatiently.

"Please listen to me aunt and you have to think about it. Many people can have a new life by donating his organs. He will live through them again." Suddenly the women took Nihan's hand away from her shoulder. Her face was filled with hatred.

"Everybody wants to kill my son. I will never agree with you. Whatever happens I will protect him. You are all devils. You don't need him anymore, do you?? But I want him. For me, It's enough to see him alive." The woman's grief was suddenly overwhelmed and ended in a cry.

Nihan hold her tight again to support her. "It's okey, it's okey" she said. "Everything will be like you said. Don't worry. And i am sorry . I wasn't aware about your feelings. I am sorry."

The women got up without saying anything. She wiped her tears and walked away from there. Nihan couldn't move for a long time. She was stuck with the burden of guilt. After a few seconds, she redeemed herself and walked to the hospital.

"Nihan" she turned back hearing Mira's voice.

But she didn't have the patience to wait for her. Nihan walked away and disappeared. Mira saw it and stopped halfway confused.

Nihan went to Dr. Barish khan, her senior. She pushed the door open and headed inside.

"May I ?" She asked.

"Yes, Dr. Nihan.. please come and have a seat."

The man, who is in his sixties, called her warmly. Nihan smiled softly while sittting down in a chair.

"What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" He asked, wrinkling his forehead.

"Doctor.. I had a chat with varun's mother. She doesn't want to understand the situations. But.... I think, when we look at it in her perspective she is right."

"Nihan.., calm down" Barish Khan picked up a glass of water and gave it to her. she drank one sip and put it back on the table.

"So.. that's what happened." He said.

"Because, i know very well about the pain of not having a mother. This is worse than that. She is losing her one and only son." Depression flashed in her eyes.

"Do Not get emotional Nihan" He said looking at her eyes. "I can understand your sadness and reasons. So, you don't have to see this women anymore"

"But doctor, it is necessary to explain her. She just need some time to accept the reality."

"And we don't have it" Dr Barish Khan opened the table and held a file and stretched it towards her.

"What is it doctor?" Nihan asked.

"Read it?" She bought it without asking anything further and stared at it. After a few moments of reading through the letters, her eyes widened. Nihan looked at the man with so many questions.

"Yes, We already got the permit for organ transfer last day." Dr. Barish said.

"But, his mother didn't agree with that"

"Look at these signatures Nihan... Our chairman personally approached her yesterday and she signed. She must be mentality depressed, that's all.. After all she is a mother."

"I can't believe this" said Nihan. "The sadness i saw in her eyes and emotions. It was not a lie.

Those are not the meaningless words of a mentally depressed person" unable to believe it, She looked at the file again and again.

"I can understand you Nihan.. But as a doctor u don't have to be too emotional. You have to handle it randomly. And leave it here. You have to go to Room No. 201 and see Mr. Dev Raj Khanna. "

"Our VIP patient who was admitted two days ago? " Nihan wondered.

"Yes, He asked to see you"

"Me? But why?" She asked quickly.

"That I don't know, you can go and ask him"

"Okey doctor, i will" She returned the file. Went out and walked.

"Hello" Mira was standing outside the door waiting for her. Mira's approach, which had come as a surprise to her, gave her a shock.

"You scared me.." Nihan pressed her chest and sighed.

"Are you avoiding me?" Mira asked.

"For what dear. And am so sorry about that. I was in a rush. Didn't get a chance to tell you." Nihan clarified herself.

"So , now you have things which is more important than me?" Asked Mira With a serious face.

"Of course dear, as a doctor, it's really important. But why are you talking like this Mira?" Mira didn't say anything for a while. Thoughts began to leap over her like a loose horse.

On the one hand, it's the man whom she has been worshiping with her mind for a year and a half. On the other hand, it's a friend who is really close to her heart for so many years. What if I had to choose one of them in the future?

Or my calculations may have gone wrong. He never mentioned Nihan. It can be me too.

"Hey..?" Nihan waved her hand across Mira's face to wake her up. Mira gave up her thoughts and smiled as if nothing had happened.

"It's nothing. I was just joking." She said and started complaining looking at her wristwatch.

"OMG.. it's already twelve. I have duty in the OT. See you later." Mira went quickly somewhere. Nihan put her hands in both the pockets of white doctor coat and stood there watching suspiciously at Mira's behaviour.

***

Madhavan came out of Abhay's room and called Mohit. But his phone was switched of. Madhavan tried again and again. But it was of no use.

"Damn it.. where is this useless idiot? The girl must be found and uprooted as soon as possible. " He murmured himself.

In the office room, Andrea was cleaning Abhay's blood stained arm. At the same time, a women at her fifties came running to him.

"What happened?" She screamed at Abhay khanna who was surprised to see her there.

Seeing her, Andrea stood up and moved to one side. The woman sat next to him and held his hand worriedly.

"It's a deep cut. Come dear, let's go to the hospital"

"It's nothing Mom.. there is no need to" Abhay pressed her hand to make her calm.

"Is this a small wound? Andrea, call the doctor.. now" As soon as she heard that, Andrea picked up her phone and dialed the number and stopped by seeing Abhay.

Realizing this, The women pulled the phone out of her bag. Abhay snatched it up the next moment and calmly comforted her.

"Mom, i am saying. It's nothing."

"Meenakshi .. leave him. After all he is a man." Madhavan said between entering the room.

"You are here too brother?" She asked Madhavan.

"Yes, i know that Abhi will soon leave for India. So I wanted to see him." He laughed so hard revealing his whole teeth outside.

"Well.. that's good."

"Then I am leaving. See you" Abhay hurriedly rose up and stepped forward to join him. But Madhavan Prohibited him from doing that and walked away.

Abhay got his answer from his behaviour. He understood that he have to wait more for that girl.

"Where are you going Abhi? Sit here " Meenakshi made him sit back on the sofa and pulled out his wounded hand and started first aid. He obeyed her silently like a small child.

"Sometimes I feel like, you are exactly like your father."

"Mom please, let's not talk about him" His voice was heavy.

"Okey, let's not.. Then tell me, Did you call Aryan? He doesn't even remember me." her face turned pale , Just as the shadows of despair hit.

"I did mom.. and he promised me that he will visit you after the surgery is done."

"It was enough to show father here in our hospital. But he insisted to go there. And you know that, i can't travel now. Why did he made such a difficult choice at this age?" She asked.

"Mom.. Do we have any Relatives in Mumbai? "

Abhay asked cautiously.

"No.. there is none. We have left there when you were nine years old. We don't have any close relatives there."

"But..." He mumbled as if thinking something.

"But what?" Meenakshi asked.

"my heart still says that there was someone out there. Someone who was so special to me." Meenakshi's face changed hearing this.

"Why do you feel that way?" She asked excitedly.

"Nothing.. just in case.."

In his eyes scattered the pearls of memories lost somewhere in the depths of the ocean. Many of the obscure images were constantly changing in it.

***

Nihan walked forward aiming room number 201. Why would Mr. Dev raj khanna want to see me? She asked herself while walking.

"Stop this drama of yours.. He's dead.. get it now.. and come with me."

Nihan listened to the commotion happening outside the ICU. She walked two steps ahead to find out what was going on. That women was sitting there on the floor. She was very sad. Nihan remembered having a conversation with her that morning. The woman she consoled for the loss of her son. In front of her, a black, thin man was standing. Nihan speculated that it would be her husband.

"Come on.. get up you b***". he shouted in a loud voice. "That's why it was signed yesterday. What's the point of crying now?"

'Dr. Barish was telling the truth' Nihan pondered. ' But this man has no right to treat her this way.' Nihan started walking towards them by deciding something in her mind.

Just before that, the door of the ICU was opened and a nurse came out and rebuked them. The next moment he forcibly dragged the woman away and took her outside. Nihan groaned and walked to the room where dev raj khanna was lying.

Upon reaching there, the old man was reading a book. She knocked on the door one or two times and walked in without seeking his permission. Hearing her footsteps, The old man lifted his eyes from the book and looked at her. nihan observed him closely. Apart from the fact that his hair and beard are completely grey, he has a healthy body which wasn't affected by age.

The old man took off his glasses and placed them on one side along with the book. Nihan looked at the man and smiled.

"Nihan hyder khan..." The old man uttered loudly. Nihan was amazed to hear her name coming out of a stranger's mouth with complete freedom.

"How do you know my name?" She asked suspiciously.

"Ha ha.... Forgot this so quickly? " He asked. Nihan couldn't understand anything. .

"two years ago, you received an award of 'best student' from my hands"

"Oh yes.. i remember now.. But I wasn't expecting you to remember an ordinary student like me"

"so, you don't want me to remember you, do you?"

"No.. i mean it's an honour.." Nihan said as she struggled to hide her rejoice. The old man laughed out loud. He asked her to sit down on the chair next to his bed.

"How's it going? " He asked Nihan.

"Don't worry sir.. everything is alright. Doctors from USA will be arriving here tonight. So you have nothing to worry about. " Nihan said with confidence. The old man laughed again and said. "In my case, I am not afraid.. I was talking about you."

Nihan looked at him in disbelief. The old man gestured 'yes' with his eyes.

"Me..? I am fine sir.. thank you.." replied Nihan.

"There are some reasons why I wanted to see you.. some truths" She felt that the man was saying things that were not related. But she took special care not to show it off. Dev Raj Khanna shook his head slightly and extended his hand. Like a father, he touched her head with love and care.

"There is a big task to be done before I die " he said.

"Do not talk like that.. Don't worry.. you are still young like a buddy.. and will live for many more years. Take rest now."

She felt like calling him like that. And He was touched by that. The old man rubbed his wet eyes with fingers.

"What happened buddy? You are not allowed to be sad.. " Nihan warned him as a doctor.

"It's nothing.. i am glad that you chose me as a friend.. "

"I can understand now.. buddy's grandchildren are all busy, aren't they?" She asked. Dev raj khanna smiled with grief.

"And you are alone having no friends who can call you buddy.. right?" Nihan asked again. Dev raj khanna shook his head like a child and said "yes".

"It's okey.. now you have me.. i can be your buddy.. okey?"

"Okey... I don't have to worry anymore then.. " The old man said happily. At the same time the old man's phone on the left side of the table was vibrating. Nihan picked it up and gave it to him.

"Hello" Dev raj khanna said in the phone. And the sound of reply rang in his ear.

"Hello sir..Your guess was right.. some one is after her..." The old man's eyes widened. His hands trembled and the phone fell down to the bed.

Dev Raj Khanna felt as though his body was paralyzed. And an unbearable pain in his chest.

His face was turned pale and eyes red. He pressed one hand to his chest and began to scream in pain. Nihan who was already leaving turned back hearing his voice. She was shocked to find his state. For a moment, she stopped panicking, wondering what to do..