Chapter eight: Symptoms

~~~I'd like to give you all that I have, to have you stay with me but you, you don't see me. You don't see me that way, you don't see the way I look at you when you're not looking at me. I wish that I could tell you every single thought I ever had about you and me, but you don't see me that way~~~

-SafetySuit-

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But the moment I took the first step, dizziness surged in me and I almost lost my balance if Jack hadn't grabbed my hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked in a worried voice. She also helped me to take a seat. "What's going on with you, Sam?"

"I don't know, I've been like this lately. I have always been dizzy." I sighed closing my eyes as I felt my surrounding's spinning around me.

"But why? Do you miss your meals lately?"

"No. Honestly, I've always been hungry lately and you know what? I think lasagna and meatballs are my favorite food every day." I chuckled slightly as I remembered last night sneaking into the kitchen to get those leftovers meatballs and lasagna and brought them to my room.

"You're craving for lasagna and meatballs?"

"Hmm... and gosh, I hate the smell of Dale's cologne lately. I'm not sure if he changed the one I bought for him, but I swear, I feel like I want to use the bathroom every time I smell it."

I was still busy thinking about some unusual things that have been happening to me lately when I felt her sit next to me.

"Why did you suddenly become quiet---"

"When was your last period?"

I frowned as she interrupted me just to ask such a stupid question, but of course, Jackeline is Jackeline so I'm sure she wouldn't stop unless she got the answer.

"Uhmm... actually, I was supposed to have my period two weeks ago but I don't know why it missed."

I opened my eyes only to be confused with her facial expression. She seemed so shocked so I tried to make a joke.

"Haist. I really admired her for visiting me monthly but I'm confused as to why she forgot to visit me this month."

But I guess I wasn't a good joker as I was just the one who laughed at my own joke.

"Shit!"

She cursed loudly and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Why? What's going on---"

"You were supposed to have your monthly period two weeks ago, right?"

"Yes---"

"And yesterday was exactly one month after the bar incident. After you slept with him!"

I frowned.

"I didn't sleep---shit!" but my words were cut by my loud curse. I stared at her for a moment, my expression shows that I understand what she means.

Holding my breath, my hand unconsciously lifted over my belly. "I-It's been a month."

She nodded, then held my other hand. "Yes, it's been a month and you have to see a doctor so that we can confirm whether what we have in mind is true or---"

"No, Jack, we can't! I mean, I can't go to a doctor. I'm sure Mom and Dad would notice and Dale! He would know it easily, I know him. He'll be mad at me!"

"Hey, Sam, please come down." She took both my hands as I started to panic.

Nervousness began to creep in me that we had forgotten about our next subject.

I don't know what my family's reaction would be when they knew the truth, not to mention this pregnancy... if it's true that I'm pregnant. I haven't told them about it and even though Dale had not spoken to me for a week, I still kept my mouth sealed.

And of course, I'm also thinking about Luke. I'm not sure whether to talk to him about it or not. In fact, I don't even know if he would believe me as he started ignoring me after that night. Well, I'm kinda used to it but this time is a bit different because I felt guilty every time he looked at me. He didn't tell anyone what happened that night, not even with Dale and that only added to the guilt I feel.

"I know what you're thinking."

I sighed loudly and then turned to her with tears forming around my eyes.

"What am I going to do, Jack?"

"You have to start telling them the truth."

"But they'll be mad at me."

"Oh, of course, they will! I mean, I'm sure they will, but do you have any other choice?"

I bit my lip.

"You're right, you have no choice. So when they get mad at you and scream your stupidity in front of you, take it. Take them all because it wasn't anyone's fault but yours."

If only my heart could scream at the moment, it would definitely scream 'ouch'.

"I warned you many times before, didn't I? What did I tell you? There's a chance that you'll get pregnant if you continue your plan, but you didn't listen, instead, you continued being stupid and spoiled brat Samantha!"

"I'm sorry," I said lowering my head.

"No. I'm not the right person to accept your sorry, because you didn't do any harm to me. But I guess you should save your sorry for your family, especially for your parents. They trusted you and expected you to do good, but you chose to be that way."

"Ouch, Jack, ouch. Are there any hurtful words that you wanted to say to me?"

"Haha... funny. But honestly, I really have a lot of words to tell you, but I think even if I started it now, we wouldn't be finished until next week, so no. I'll just let your parents decide what to do with you."

"Jack...?"

"Sorry, but no matter what you do, you can't hide your tummy from bulging and I'm sure you wouldn't answer them with your sarcastic lines, 'oh, I just swallowed a ball, don't mind me' or 'I tried to eat the whole watermelon without slicing it and I succeed, isn't it amazing?" she even clapped her hands.

As long as I really wanted to slap her mouth, I couldn't as my laughter beat me.

"Let's be serious here, Samantha. I know you're afraid, but you've done it already and you have to tell them what happened."

"What if they won't believe me?"

"They will, they're your family and they will support you. You just have to trust them."

I sighed, giving her a half-hearted smile. I hate the truth that she's right. She always reminds of it but I didn't listen.

"I can come with you to see a doctor. I'll ask Mom to help us make an appointment---"

"But Jack?"

"Don't worry, she won't tell anyone about it. She can keep a secret."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup. We can trust her."

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I checked my phone for the third time... fourth... fifth... sixth ... I don't know, I've already lost count. I've been waiting for Luke's call or even message since I entered this coffee shop in front of their school. I told him we need to talk as I have something important to tell him.

Jack and I went to the clinic, recommended yesterday by her. And the result no longer surprised me, 'cause I knew it. I already knew it. The unusual things I felt these past few days were normal. They're just normal symptoms for a woman who's carrying a baby for four weeks.

"Miss, can I have another glass of orange juice, please?" I kindly asked the waitress who had just passed my table and she nodded at me smiling.

I checked the time from my wristwatch and it's already 4:45 pm., meaning I've been waiting for him for an hour since I got here at 3:45 pm.

"Here's your juice, ma'am."

"Thank you." I smiled at her when she put the glass down in front of me.

"Ohh... someone is waiting for someone, huh?"

"Paul." I chuckled at his line. He came exactly the moment the waitress went to the counter.

"Let me guess, uhmm... you're waiting for brother, aren't you?" he winked as he took the vacant seat in front of me.

I chuckled again. I know he already has a clue as to who I was waiting for but, he just chose not to mention his name.

"I noticed that you stopped watching our game. What happened?"

"Well, uhmm... I was busy reviewing for our exams. Yeah... I was... busy." I lied. I don't think I have to elaborate the real reason with him.

"Okay. Good luck on your exams and don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure you'll them pass them all."

"Thanks, Paul."

And his smile suddenly disappeared.

"Why? Did I say something wrong?"

He smiled shaking his head. "Nope. I just realized how beautiful my name is when you mentioned it."

I couldn't help but laugh at him that I didn't notice that there's someone standing at the entrance and looking at us with a deep frown on his forehead. I didn't notice him even when he left the coffee shop.

"Anyway, I guess I have to go before my coffee gets cold."

"Yeah, I think you really should go."

He was only taking three steps from the table when he turned around.

"Uhm, I think you should call him instead of waiting here. We don't know if he's already gone home."

"Huh?"

"The one you've been waiting for." He shrugged. "Because based on your expression when I entered the cafe, you've been waiting for almost an hour, so instead of losing another time waiting for him, why don't you just give him a call? And in case no one has informed you, we don't have a training schedule for today, so he ordered the team to go home early."

"Really? W-What time did you guys---"

"3:00 pm. He gathered us at 3:00 pm earlier and then told us to go home early."

He already answered my question even if I haven't asked it yet.

Suddenly I lost all my strength. Why didn't he even tell me or send me a message? I was still in a daze when Paul said his goodbye. Actually, I didn't notice how he disappeared from my sight.

I tried to calm myself, taking long deep breaths so I could prevent my tears from flowing. Pregnancy hormones are striking me and sometimes I couldn't control my emotions.