The Star 6

The mind is a strange organ. A gap as large as seven years was too large to leave unfilled without severe consequences. Accessing older memories tended to rely on tracing connections from the present to the past. It was necessary to fill a large wiped space with echoes of older recorded thought until newer experiences and recollections of those older memories replaced them.

That wasn't something that the device in charge of erasing marked memories did to finish the process, so much as it encouraged a person's own healing mechanisms to do it. That also ensured that partially erased memories couldn't piece themselves back together. As advanced as tech had gotten, fabricating memories from nothing wasn't fully capable of being done with machines alone and destroying brain cells to make an erasure stick was too harmful.

What was strange in Sonny's case was the sense of distance. The longer he recovered, the more removed he became from the seven year old self he knew. And what was filling the space left behind wasn't just echoes, it was useful things. The essence of his consciousness wasn't just an electrical field created by brain activity, it was something that could somewhat exist independently of his physical mind.

None of that was known by Uno. From her side, everything looked like a best case scenario. She credited that to his youth and the care invested in his health by the illegal users of his control device. The cell damage to the memory center wasn't just within parameters, it was one of the lowest she'd seen. She'd be more impressed but another had next to no damage at all not too long before, making his 'exception' not quite as exceptional.

To help the process of 'overwriting' along, Uno had been telling him about things that she knew of his family and spurring him to share the brighter stories of his childhood. Considering her and Glenn's transfer to Terra Ninkasi three years after his induction and quickly finalized contract bid, her information was dated by a lot. It was more than personally lived years that dated the information, however. There was stasis time involved as well.

All said and done, it had been nearly fifty. The stasis ship transfer to Terra Ninkasi has ate up nearly thirty for Uno and she liked to abuse her important position in Eclipse to regularly use a stasis pod for mundane sleeping as well. She wasn't the only one. Glenn was an abuser of it too, mostly through a time share of Uno's bed.

While Sonny reeled from that revelation, Uno pulled his attention to other retained memories. As per agreements with the legal owner of Sonny's contract, non classified training under virtual conditions were to be secondarily marked so that the device responsible for erasing potentially psychologically harmful periods would skip them. It was supposed to be Sonny's 'payment' and to keep him from being educationally behind the curve for his age.

The contract owner had been incredibly stingy as far as that was concerned. They had fully exercised confidentiality clause as far as they could stretch it, nearly making the boy's educational take-away as crude and incomplete as possible. Far from angering Sonny, it made him happy. The foreign memories and 'trainings' that belonged to a person who had primarily gone by the name Orison were far more useful than standard education.

What made the boy a little sad was the intimate understanding that he was merely the exposed fingertip of a buried giant. He fully intended to use his time until merging to make himself as big a part of that sleeping colossus as he could. He could make up the lack of technological know-how on his own time.

"Okay, big boy. If you were an official employee, we would run through the gambit of your education and advanced training to make sure everything's in working order but you're not," Uno said.

After that, there was nothing left to discuss. He had a debriefing to attend soon and the high end tech specialist was into overtime. As a parting gesture, he thanked her for keeping his tin safe and asked her if a hug was alright.

She was taken off guard for a moment. But after seeing the guileless look on Sonny's face she said, "Highly. But if you're not going to shank me, I don't mind bending the rules a little if you don't."

He kept the resulting hug light and casual as he said, "Because you saved my tin, we can still be friends. Give me a few days to figure things out. And once I finish convincing the meaner part of me to forgive you, I think I'd like to go on my first date. I think that you're probably nice for real, when it's not part of your job to trick people... I-I think you smell nice too."

Her reaction wasn't exactly what he thought it would be. When he stepped back from her, she looked water eyed and had a pained smile on her face.

She nodded and said, "Maybe I can convince myself that I'm not a steaming pile of garbage by then... My treat. But it's just as friends, alright? What am I saying? Of course it would be just as friends. You probably don't know anything outside of holding hands and that kind of thing."

Sonny shook his head. "I do know but I'm not trying to get you in trouble. I just want to do something that doesn't make me feel sad or angry. Besides my family, you're the nicest person I've met....that I can remember."

Choking back a sob, she shook herself back into her eternally chipper mask and said, "That's a really low bar you have. Leave it to this big sister here. I'll try to raise it a little, okay?"

Witnessing her brutal self awareness, the last thread of his desire for revenge against her frayed and snapped. There was even a chance that he might actually want that date for real in a few days. But at the moment, he just needed to get away from her.

With a quick confirmation, he made his way to and sat through his debriefing. It didn't contain much else on the whats, wheres and whys of his time as a remote control puppet. What it did contain of interest was the fate of Terra Capri over the last fifty years. The planet had been toasted by a powerful solar flare and transformed into a barely survivable desert world. In spite of that, Eclipse had still made a double return of investment rather than the four times expected return.

Second Lieutenant, possibly First, Vincent Reed was stationed on the relatively newly terraformed, Terra Flagrante. It would be a couple of lifetimes worth of colonial development before it entered the Squid Ink Stretch. His little brother, approaching mid thirties after subtracting stasis travel, would be dust before then.

He thought about trying to see the man before making any other big moves. They were little more than strangers, however. Not to mention that Vincent would be in his late sixties or dead before Sonny could get there. The same applied to a mundane little sister who had been born a couple of years after he left. The grim practicality of Glenn's advice, mere days yet almost fifty years ago, finally sunk in.

Outside of whatever crew a person ran with in the greater wide universe, a traveler of any variety could never really be more than a ghost in others' lives. Sonny contemplated that and how it applied to the person within him. He didn't know much about that other self's life. But out of what he did know, some of the choices that person made started making more sense to him.

Although it was only a glimpse, Sonny felt like he could see the struggles of a practically immortal being trying to reconcile their existence and its desires with the mortal desires that still lived on inside. He believed he might even understand a few things more clearly than his inner self had. That understanding was very simple yet difficult to explain.

The things needed to survive were never hard to figure out. But, the things needed to thrive in an uncomplicated and peaceful life wasn't the same as a violent and unpredictable one. Needs could change rapidly and wants were potentially far more expensive to indulge.

In a peaceful life, family and friends or even lovers, a person could make as many or as few connections as they wanted until all needs were met and still have potential room for wants. The only real difficulty was trying to figure out those needs and wants. After tallying the cost and compromises, a person could pursue that life.

In a dangerous life, a person could find themselves thrust into a group of strangers or seeking to join one. In such a situation, they had to make do, make the best of it, because the only other option was to go it alone. It wasn't a world a sane person wanted to drag loved ones into unless there was no choice.

Through brief glimpses into Orison's life, Sonny realized something. In seeking to have the best of both worlds, his greater self had gotten the worst of both instead. At least, that's how he saw it.

He thought, "During the peaceful times, I'll have lovers and friends. If I feel like I can, maybe I'll even make a family. I'll do my best by them and prepare for the worst. But when the uncertain times come, I'll do what I can to make them safe and leave them in their peace.

"If I make a companion during my struggles, I'm not going to hold them to the peaceful standard and I'm not going to judge them by the peaceful standard. If they're trying to do that to me, they aren't going to be my companion for long... We are what we are there and we figure out what we are when we're not."

Mind made up, he walked out of the rest of the debriefing. It wasn't hard to find Glenn's office and he was unsurprised to find that no one stopped him from going into it. He stretched out, did some light exercises and took a nap until the man got there the next morning.

Instantly waking into full alertness, he said, "Nice couch. Can you get someone to bring me breakfast or is that pushing things too far?... I'm starving."

Glenn swiveled his eyes to Sonny after he sat behind his desk. "You had a suite booked. It came with a breakfast big enough for ten people. But sure, donuts and coffee it is."

While Sonny wolfed down a half dozen rings of empty calories, Dull Eyes gave him the breakdown. "Your citizen status is undeclared. You can walk out of my office with a Union ID, an Alliance second class citizenship or as an independent. I don't suggest the third but I'm not going to stop you if that's what you want.

"By now I'm sure you're aware that the most important thing about mutants are our psionic qualities. Over sixty percent of specialized tech relies on the ability of its operators to remote command or give complex directions through a psionic connection. Ironically, that makes mutants with the softer, sensitivity oriented psionic abilities more valuable that their active power counterparts. Do you want-"

Sonny interrupted. "Union ID is fine and I don't need a job offer at the moment... I'd like to know where the boy I saved from that instructor is. I don't know if YOU know that. But, pointing me to the one that does would be appreciated."

Glenn arched an eyebrow. "I'll break protocol and tell you if you promise to let go of any grudge against myself and subordinates of this office."

Sonny shrugged. "Sure. Don't be expecting any birthday cards. But after a nap, I don't feel that cranky about it anymore anyway... I mean, if I run across your previous captain, I hope I'm in a good mood. But other than that, what's there to be mad about?"

Glenn gave him a deranged smile and said, "Well, you'll have to wait until your next life, if you believe in that. The boy you're asking about, killed her right after his induction. Return to where you came from. It was his handwriting on the note."

Frowning, Sonny said, "Is he a pirate? Does he have a bounty?"

"Ah, killed in self defense was how the report read. At any rate, you have a few days until-unti-unt-uuuu" Glenn's words glitched out and so did the environment.

Sonny stopped drawing a little spiral on the table that no longer existed. Willing his body to purge the sedatives, he woke up in a stasis pod. He had broken the loop of his last uncontracted memory, the one future controllers used to bridge transfers from past ones. Minute details would change to suit his subconscious mind and inconsistencies in his environment. It also supplied some updates to contract numbers and time passage that could be read or asked for.

As he toured the 'no frills' vessel and inspected his fellow passengers, he thought "So, we're on an emergency evacuation vessel. Looks like contract seven wasn't so lucky after all. Well, for me it was extremely lucky. Automated tuners don't have near the finesse of a specialist like Uno.

"How in deep space did it manage to have G-I guess it's Grant now- How did it manage to have Grant going on the next mission WITH me and waiting for me at the next site, at the same time!? The person with a near perfect, no brain damage wipe that Uno had processed a month earlier? That was Grant, dummy!... In his handwriting, pfft.

"Of course, it's not like anyone ever knew about Cole outside of mom and Rupert. I don't know when I lost you, buddy. I'm sorry but I don't have the tool box Orison has. Don't worry, though. It may be banged up but your consciousness remnants were preserved by the familiar bond thingy you had. We'll get it back to you one day.

"... What am I in personal years now? Damn. Someone screwed up a wipe. I could be any age but guesswork puts me at somewhere between fifteen and early twenties. Personal experience is way too deep for the marrow marker of fifteen to be right. Someone must have given me a renewal or supplement. I don't even want to know what I did to earn it."

After checking what was in range, Sonny sent a broadcast to a Union space station hub. After some song and dance, he was patched through to the station chief.

"Someone on your ship better be rich and dying to wake me up during my sleep cycle," the disgruntled older woman said.

Sonny sighed. "How about a sixty-one count class action suit of illegal usage of minors for contracts under the guise of training?"

Shaking the cobwebs of sleep from her head, the woman said, "Seventy percent. That's for protection and negotiation."

He hated. He hated so deep that it took all the self control he had to keep his voice pleasant even as the taste of copper filled his mouth.

Sonny said, "Madam Chief, you are a hub. There's at least one legal advisor on your station. Thirty percent above the table is worth who knows how many times what you could get below it. That's not even to mention the potential for fines and sanctions. Don't pretend that wouldn't look good to a promotion board."

She snorted. "This broadcast is from an Eclipse vessel. Do you think the Union is going to tangle with an Alliance backed security firm of their size?"

"Yes, I do. There are so many secrets buried in the Terra Ninkasi office that they'll have their hands too full with competitors trying to take a bite out of them to worry about some restitution and fines," he said, nearly feeling faint from the surge of murderous rage he was suppressing.

Sighing, she agreed with him too quickly, almost dismissively.

With a saintly smile, Sonny said, "Great! I'll just need a a binding agreement, then."

The woman laughed. "You're in no position to negotiate."

"I am. There's twelve other possibilities to choose from," he said.

She laughed harder and ended the transmission.

He sent another broadcast to the hub's communication room. "The chief said that there's nothing further to discuss with you, sir."

"Tell her that there's a five person 'one and done' hyper pad and I will use it to reach the highest bidder," he said in a low growl.

He gave a few minutes and almost began burning energy reserves to send out longer range signals.

Before he could, he received a broadcast from the hub. "Don't bother killing yourself trying. My head engineer said you're not in the range of these other, so called, possibilities."

Sonny chuckled hollowly, "Ask them if I can reach one if I'm willing to burn up reserve and life support? Five lives and the ship's black box is good enough for me."

She did verify but called his bluff. That didn't last long. An intercepted boosted signal to a relatively nearby large cargo vessel ended in her singing a different tune with a depressed witness who felt salty over the lost opportunity. He secured a thirty percent legal retainer but managed to get hit with another twenty percent in salvage, rescue and tariff claims owed directly to the hub, due after legal proceedings.

It had to be good enough. Once citizenship was reestablished and transportation was subtracted, it wouldn't be much of a nest egg for a new life but no one had to die for it. Considering the personal age and capabilities of his fellow survivors, they had plenty more years and opportunities to pave good futures for themselves.

The resulting bitter couple of months of struggles, both legally and in standard of living, made Sonny realize why the woman tried so hard just to rob them and leave them with their lives. Even distracted under the scandal, Eclipse put up a fight, nearly had them on a technicality that would have made the survivors war criminals and pirates. By sheer willpower alone did he keep his fellow sixty victims from caving and dropping suit.

Sadly, by the time he was finished, not a soul among them considered him a friend. Whether it was being informed of his initial threat to the station chief or the psychological games he had played with them to keep them from dropping suit, he was no better than their original tormentors in their eyes. He tried not to take it personal but it still hurt a lot.

With time they might understand but they didn't have the same advantages of borrowed maturity he had. They were just kids looking for someone to pile all their hate and bitterness on. Sonny was the only one who they could lash out at that wouldn't lash back. At least, not after the suit was over.

As for his own direction, he had managed to pull several others under the umbrella of their suit. Among them was Grant. With nowhere else to be and no one else to reach out to, he paid the enormous cost to hyper transport to the world Grant was being mind tuned on and waited.