The Star 14

The young adept spent the first day within the unfamiliar form in a cloud of mild confusion on several levels. After waking from a dream that was both pleasant and disturbing in content, Sonny decided to alleviate some frustration to keep from having to deal with that again. She also dedicated time to the understanding of meditation and trance.

The instructions had wanted deeper learning to wait until the tasks of this world were done but Sonny didn't think a small head start was that big of a problem. Insuring no more emotion and thought disturbing dreams plagued her until she could get her familiar and comfortable male form back seemed worth the small risk. Experiencing anymore awkward events that would make it difficult to look at Cray with clear eyes and an unguilty conscience felt fairly important too.

The young adept figured that there may have been some ulterior motive behind Cray helping with the discovery of the useful but somewhat double edged ability but also felt like the archer had been straightforward about that motivation. She felt like her response and blunt openness might have been too jarring and scared the guy off. At least, at first. Then, just as it had when she was a child, her eyes went unfocused as she collected all the tidbits of information that had been revealed and used them to see a larger picture.

"Oh... He said he knew me but maybe he also knew me. It's pretty clear that I'm going to be going back. And because of the need for balance between existences the way I'm doing things, I can't bring him with me because I brought the bow to him.

"He seems like a serious and deeply caring guy. Parting ways with a friend is sad but doable. But maybe in showing me how to do this form changing thing, it stirred up old memories and feelings. At least I don't have to feel so personally responsible.

"Also, I'm a little conflicted. I think he was playing loose and dirty, thoughtless, even if it wasn't on purpose. I think I might be a little-not mad but-... a lot more than just unhappy about that."

In a rush to return back to a form that was far less emotionally conflicting, Sonny accepted a little fixable lifespan damage around the third night. Relaxing the edges a second time, it was easier but also felt like it was a little wrong. It was an instinctual warning and Sonny had already figured out there had to be a price to pay for flipping around on such a deep level. Aside from the lifespan damage, loosening the physical pattern too frequently carried its own risks.

In a vulnerable state, the young adept waited in a nearly ball-like state of complex essence for 'his' old and familiar form to take hold and reshape him. It was during that time that a dark and sharp fingered hand reached out to physically examine the seemingly helpless glowing figure. Engrossed in his own thoughts, Sonny was taken by surprise and tried to flee from the touch a little too slowly.

As the stranger's ideal attempted to infect his pattern, the young adept actively fought back, trying to claim what he wanted to be instead. It was a great deal easier to fight off this hazy and faded ideal than it would have been the very clear and solidly defined ideal that Cray carried. It was as if the stranger had nearly given up on deeper emotional connections or their spirit was tired and jaded, subconsciously beginning to long for release from life rather than desiring a full and more complex one.

The figure, masked with concealing magic and exercising some discipline to fade spiritual presence, lunged for the young adept's neck as if animalistically attempting to rip out his throat with bared teeth. Reflexively jerking back and kicking for all he was worth, the assailant doubled over and went flying backwards. It hadn't been quick enough to keep a surprisingly sharp tooth from scraping his neck. And as the figure stood up, the eyes glowed with demonically red glee as the figure licked a drop of blood from his lips.

With suit snapping into place, Sonny was ready to end his attacker when a sudden realization hit him. "Nub? Why are you attacking me?"

A supernaturally fast lunge meant to eviscerate with drawn, razor sharp daggers, turned into a bear hug at the very last moment. With arms trapped in a vice-like squeeze that would have the power to nearly crush a normal mortal, Sonny resisted the urge to laugh. It wouldn't be as easy as shaking off a clingy house pet but it wouldn't be that great of a challenge either.

There was plenty to be nervous about, anyway. The quickly disappearing scratch on his neck was proof the creature in front of him was far from harmless. The dilated pupils set in glowing crimson rings meant that the normally cautious and affable vampire wasn't exactly fully in control of his actions either. Depending on the nature of the visit, Nub might not have seen the need.

With trembling muscles tightened with hunger and the desire for carnage, the vampire growled out through barely contained predator instinct, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you, actually. It just wasn't the right time yet. I have a journal to give you. But, as happy as you might be to see me, it would be hard to hand you anything with all the warmth you're putting into your greeting."

Sonny's lack of concern and a touch of amusement threw off the predator within and made him back up with wariness in every inch of his frame. It was all the opening that Sonny needed to reach behind him and summon out the journal before slowly handing it over with a measured, deceptively relaxed disposition. As Nub thumbed through it, he was excited at first but then that look clouded with disbelief and doubt.

Nub gazed up at Sonny with the caution one might have when dealing with a madman. "Am I supposed to believe I'm this person named Daniel?"

The moment the name left the vampire's lips, he collapsed lifelessly to the floor. His body began rapidly fading even as it decayed to dust at inconceivable speed. Minutes later, as Sonny panicked while thinking he'd made a terrible mistake, The form of a soul faded warrior materialized into being where Nub had once been. Confused but convinced by circumstance and what the journal had predicted correctly thus far, Daniel managed to summon his pitcher. He downed the entire contents before the strange, hourglass-like fused marble caught up. Quickly following instructions, Sonny began repairing and healing while the fused marble tried to reverse the effect of Daniel's pitcher. All the while, life 'diamonds' and soul 'opals' popped and dusted like a pan of popcorn kernels filled with powder within the young adept's space.

"What have you done? He can't handle all those lifetimes of bitterness at once! His soul will collapse!' a strong but feminine voice said through the hourglass conduit.

Sonny sneered. "I'm eating the grudge and curses. Give a guy some credit. Just because he's eager to please you doesn't mean he's weak spirited. Somehow, you've managed to convince him he is. And for that, shame on you. Go focus on integrating Patrick and leave us in peace."

In an emotional explosion, the voice screeched through the conduit, "F*ck you, infant! What do you know about anything!? I could sneeze you out of existence and you want to tweak my nose!?"

The young adept consulted his instructions, not exactly feeling secure. "Ask Lily what she thinks you should do. Just because you might be stronger than me doesn't mean you're right."

The voice laughed angrily. "Strength is the only right that matters, dead man."

"You'll say right up until the moment someone reveals all the flaws in your structure and you collapse to nothingness. Fix them before you come after me or you'll be the one ended," Sonny said, projecting a lot more bravado than he was feeling under the baleful pressure of the conduit.

A small crack appearing on the conduit stopped their battle of wills flatly. She had been trying to find the moment of his appearance, the moment of his 'birth' and other things to erase him but ended up harming one of the pillars of her own prided 'strength'.

"What are you after?" the voice said calmly with an ocean of rage simmering underneath.

Sonny sighed. "It has nothing to do with you. I wanted to help Lily and I want to help Daniel. You wanted to erase me or whatever just because we had a spat... F*ck YOU... infant."

Through his struggles, Daniel mouthed out weakly, "She'll... never for-give you for... that."

The young adept snorted. "I don't want anything from her...whoever unimportant person she might be. She can shove her forgiveness up her small minded a** and open it a little wider to reason... Your pitcher's about to overflow."

Feebly, the man began taking measured sips.

Frowning, Sonny said, "If you drink it like that, you're going to take days. I can only imagine the pain but you can't let the bitterness build up to much. Some of the things you desperately need are in it."

"Why? Why must I... endure that? Isn't the pain... I've learned to accept and even... enjoy... enough to balance the scale!?" Daniel pleaded.

"No." Sonny replied mercilessly.

After a pause, he added, "There's a secret to strength in deeper suffering. And even though your superior is wrong about strength being the only right that matters, sometimes it's the only thing that matters for survival."

Muttering to himself, he said, "Is it so hard to tell the difference between living and merely surviving? Confusing the two as being the same in more ways than just continuing to exist is a dangerous and crippling lie to believe."

It took the better part of a day and most of his black mud collected stash to get Daniel through enough pitcher refills to cover a full return. Sonny didn't really have a clue as to the sheer immensity of that or its implications. But Daniel, more than caught up to a point well beyond where he could possibly fathom reaching, much less should be for the current timeline of events, realized the gravity.

More than that, Daniel's very method of growth relied on the kind of trick 'Sonny' was using to do much of what he did. The scale was simply so much larger and more complete that it humbled and terrified the afterlife specialist. He was grateful to be considered a friend rather than the enemy of such a figure and pitied the woman he planned on weening himself away from. Affection could only cover so much harm, even if it wasn't entirely meant.

The look of friendly camaraderie and understanding on Daniel's face was utterly ruined by his transformation into a Danny/Nub hybrid in red boxer shorts, as he said, "Is there anything other than what's in this journal that you need me to do for you?"

Somewhat poleaxed by the 180 from sobbing train wreck to moderately confident and slightly pervy guy, the young adept said, "No... Keep that lady away from me, I guess. I'd have no choice but to do something that really couldn't be forgiven to defend myself. I don't want to put a dark spot on the good I've tried to do because a spoiled ancient brat doesn't know how NOT to throw a temper tantrum."

Daniel seemed a bit hesitant to leave but knew he couldn't stay, his knowledge and difficulty not trying to be 'helpful' would eventually lead to possibly harming Orison's efforts. "Out of this list, what are the most important ones. Sometimes things get tangled and it doesn't work out the way you want."

Sonny said, "I need those two chess pieces and my list had the third chess piece's fate as being very important to be as on target as possible... In all honesty, I think they're all important but you can put the gifting of the cultivator stuff at the bottom and fetching Cole at the top. That is, just under getting the knight chess piece to Garret's incarnation that's caught in demented story land.

"I don't understand the importance of having Grant pose as 'magic armor', especially one with such a cruel design. But, for Grant to be...well, as close to himself as possible, that's a must. I get the feeling that this item spirit must have been important to the maker of my tasks but... it seems like They're not going to be the same person no matter what is done. Why does it feel like my instruction make is letting go?"

Looking sadly at the young adept, Daniel said, "I couldn't tell you for sure. I couldn't tell you if I did know. But, I can say that sometimes, the kindest and most loving thing a person can do is walk away. Some people can care for you with all they have but be the most destructive obstacle in your path."

Lightening up, he added, "Not saying that's what it is. But, I've had to do that a time or two. Then again, there were a lot more times I did it for the wrong reasons. It's not always easy to know what the right thing to do is when things are....emotional."

Daniel went over the journal one last time to make sure he understood everything. "This thing with Herne, can I take a little creative license? The main points are making sure that the horse and hound get free while the huntsman is diverted from ever joining that 'other'. I think I have a use for him."

Sonny shrugged. "I have no emotional investment in most of this. I'm just carrying out my tasks."

Daniel smiled knowingly. "Right. Your permission matters anyway. Is it alright from your perspective?"

The young adept slowly nodded, feeling a little trickery involved. In the long run, Daniel was the one who had to work the hardest, though. As far as Sonny was concerned, the excuse of balancing spiritual debt sounded awfully convenient. If the guy wanted to alter things a little for some personal gain, he thought that was more than fair.

The ensuing silence grew awkward until the man finally said, "Uh, do you have a spare pair of pants?"

***

Nearly two weeks after he had left, Cray returned. The air between them wasn't light hearted and easy going like it had been. No amount of apologies or concessions from either side could make up for the obvious tension in the archer or the hyper awareness Sonny had of the inner turmoil Cray was trying to stifle. After a few days of helping the young adept check in on unfolding events and set up some preparations, the archer finally had no choice but to face a truth he'd been avoiding.

"I don't think I can stay. It's my fault and I want to be a good friend to you but... there's too much history. The worst part is, we can't even air it out because you can't know it. By the time you can, you'll be so far out of reach that... I'm sorry," Looking as downcast and emotionally beaten as a person can, Cray disappeared in a blur before Sonny could respond.

It wouldn't have mattered. The young adept could vaguely understand some things and even that little bit made him feel uncomfortable. For all intents and purposes, he was an amnesiac and Cray was someone who knew a different him.

He couldn't pretend to be closer to the archer than he felt and even if he could, it would be pointlessly prolonging the inevitable. According to the instructions, Cray wouldn't be able to follow either. There were only two people that could and only because they were technically already on 'the other side' partially. Everything else would only be left behind, possibly erased, if he tried. At least, that's what his instructions told him and he'd been given no reasons to doubt them.

The young adept spent the next couple of months in a semi depressed fugue. Secretly freeing Morrel, Rithus and Lithus from their cruel and crazy owner helped recover his flagging spirits a little and reminded him what he was about in Amoril. He might not be free to 'live, laugh, love' but he had a mission. And every step of the way, some soul was getting a better hand dealt to them while a couple of punters were finding their aces magically transforming into steaming deuces.

As the time for big action to come drew near, he was ready to face it. Not only that but he was excited. The worst parts were over. There wouldn't be anymore long periods of time left to dwell on disconnected and empty living.