(IN) Chapter 022 - To Protect

Death wasn't new to Duke, in fact, his grandfather had just recently died...He had heard from a lot of people that you'll just get over it over time.

But Duke knew it was all [Bullshit]

Getting over people? Healing over time? [It's all bullshit] Duke thought.

[I'll never get over this... never] Duke thought as he reminisced of the precious memories he had with his grandfather, then of that little girl's happy smile. [Now it's all for nothing! Because of those Bandits... That smile will never return] Duke sadly lamented as he etched the escaping Bandit's sniveling faces.

[Those Bandits!] Duke repeated in his mind with a seething vengeance, but then the hatred and anger turned into extreme terror.

*Haa Haa*

Duke palpitated as he thought of the Bandit leader's bloodthirsty eyes as he rammed Duke, pushing him away with a single shove.

Panic and agitation began to set root into Duke's heart when he thought back to that scene.[What if he used a spear instead? Or a spiked mace?... I'd be the one dead!] Duke realized as he breathed heavily. After Byran was injured and Annie died, Duke didn't have much time to think of the events that had just occurred, but now that he was all alone in the carriage, nothing shielded Duke from his thoughts that cowardly crept into his mind.

[I can't beat them... Next time they'd be even more prepared! I... I'm too weak! I'm nothing!] Uncharacteristic negativity set foot into Duke's mostly positive psyche as his personality reverted back to the days he was still back in the Boarding School constantly getting bullied.

Duke's cowardice began talking again.

Bullying can change the way a person thinks... Sometimes it makes them more humble, but more often than not, they inhibit a person's courage and confidence instead.

Duke's experience with bullying set up an impassable barrier that made him see himself as lesser that he actually was.

[Plus getting injured probably hurts... I just can't do it] Duke thought as tried to avoid fear. It was funny to think this was the same Duke who enthusiastically ran towards the training ground every day to be beaten up, it was his trauma beginning to overpower his chance to finally become something better. And he was so close to overcoming it too, sadly, losing Annie was just too much on Duke's already fragile self-worth.

Lying inside the carriage as he covered his head, Duke murmured to himself: [I'm sorry Annie... I just can't do it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry] Clenching his head and arms to sleep.

Duke woke up tired and broken by the carriage ride. It was still early in the morning but he already felt weak and tired.

"Are you okay, lad?... Do you want to train? Show them Bandits whos who the next time we meet them, eh" Byran tried to cheer up Duke but it was all for naught as Duke replied: "M-Maybe tomorrow... I'm quite tired right now. I... I think I'll rest for today" Duke made excuses as he escaped towards his mansion, the only place he could consider safe from the terrible world.

[I wanna meet grandpa...] Duke ran towards the mansion as his fragile psyche ran towards his grandfather, the person Duke always relied on every time he had a problem.

*Clank* "Grandpa?!" Duke shouted towards the house, expecting, hoping his grandfather was still there, sadly no one answered his calls.

His grandfather always answered every time he needed someone to talk to after a month inside that hell hole they called a boarding school. So during his vacations, during the only respite he had from bullying, the first thing Duke did was call out to his grandfather.

But now, no one answered...

"Kuk- what was I expecting?" Duke realized as he broke down on the floor bawling... Finally realizing that his grandfather was... really dead.

While crying Duke called out: "Vivian? You there?" like a lost child trying to find a parent. But sadly, she too was nowhere to be found.

"I'll stay here for now I still have some unfinished business... I know it's not much, but here" Benjamin handed Vivian 40 Gold coins, it was all he could spare.

"Thank you for accompanying me here, it was a great help" Vivian thanked Benjamin for his help as she returned to Maine tired and exhausted.

When Vivian returned home the moment she opened the door she got charged by a big boar! It was so fast she couldn't even react!

"VIVIANNN!" A familiar voice cried out as he hugged her like a child.

*Pinch* "Owe ow ow" Duke cried out in pain as his sides were painfully pinched.

"Don't scare me like that! I thought you were some wild boar or something!" Vivian cried.

"S-sorry... I just really wanted to see you again..." Duke pitifully said.

"Huh, whatever..." Vivian sighed as she was "forced" to listen to Duke's ramblings about what happened during the Bandit subjugation.

Duke and Vivian had dinner as Duke told Vivian of Kath and everything that happened. Although Vivian pretended to dislike it, she secretly found it charming how Duke made any story funny... She felt all the fatigue and stress disappeared when she heard him talk.

"Then I was charged in by a crazy Bandit! He had a scar in his one eye and everything! He was the perfect example of a "Bandit Leader" I tell ya" Duke joked as he tried to belittle his trauma.

"Hahaha Don't tell me his name was Scar or Hookface?" Vivian giggled.

"It's even worse! They call him "Waxer" scary~ maybe he was a masseuse before he became a Bandit haha..." Duke laughed, but his shaking hands betrayed his obvious trauma as he remembered the near-death incident he had.

Noticing Duke shake, Vivian staggered for a moment but she quickly regained her composure as she comforted the shaking Duke asking him: "You ok?"

Vivian comforted Duke as he couldn't pretend like it was nothing anymore.

"He was really scary... really scary Vivian. Really scary" Duke went closer to Vivian, quivering as he held himself from crying.

"Shhhh, It's alright... It's alright. He won't be able to get you now..." Vivian comforted the traumatized Duke, hugging the chubby man as she tried to soothe him.

"And Annie, Vivian... I couldn't protect her. I couldn't, I couldn't do anything" Duke cried in Vivian's arms.

"It's alright, shhh, it's alright" Vivian soothed Duke like a mother trying to stop a baby from crying.

"I couldn't protect her!"Duke clenched his teeth as he repeated his folly.

"Shhhh... I'm sure she's in a better place now... One with no Bandits and lots of food so she won't go hungry anymore..."Vivian strangely empathized with Duke's sadness despite not meeting Annie.

Thanks to Vivian's care Duke slowly released the bottled up emotions he had.

After Duke finally calmed down Vivian asked him: "Who is Annie anyway?"

"She was this little girl I met in the village" Duke explained while he picked on his nose...

"Cheating on your wife with an underaged girl? I'm very disappointed Duke" Vivian grinned, joking with Duke to lighten up the mood.

"Hehehe, you're officially recognizing were married now?" Duke could finally smile again thanks to Vivian's care. He felt as if the Bandit subjugation was finally over...

He was finally home.

"You wish" Vivian snarked.

"My Vivian you hurt me so!" Duke dramatically gestured.

"Ohhh, you want to feel real pain huh?" Vivian made pinching gestures at Duke.

"N-No I was just joking! Please forgive me!" Duke quickly bowed to Vivian to escape her painful pinches.

"By the way Vivian, what happened to the loan?"

"O-oh, the loan? It... went well I guess..."

"I see! Gahahaha, not long now until we become rich! I might not be that smart, but even I can tell your plan will work!" Duke praised Vivian as he remembered about the plan Vivian had.

"I bet you'll become a great merchant! Maybe even greater than Mansa Musa himself!" Duke encouraged Vivian just as she, did to him.

"yes..." Vivian replied.

"What faces did those Bank Officials make? Did they beg for forgiveness for wrongly denying the loan?" Duke asked more and more questions that annoyed Vivian.

"Duke... let's talk about this later, how about you train for now... I'll take a bath, I'll call you when it's your turn" Vivian evaded Duke's questions as she headed for the Bath, escaping Duke's inquiries.

Duke half-heartedly swung his sword here and there, thinking to himself: [Maybe being a Knight isn't for me after all... Maybe I should concentrate on something more productive instead, like becoming a better lord!...maybe. Or get thin! Gehehe, maybe Vivian would fall for me then]

"Oh yeah, the dance moves that Kid taught me..." While Duke was thinking of the different things that went on in his life, he suddenly remembered the blonde kid's sword techniques and tried to copy it.

"Left-right, right-left. Up, then DOWN!" Duke made a silly dance as he overstrained his legs because of the spit he did.

"OWE! Ahhh! what stupid shit am I doing..." Duke cried out in pain, trying to feel his legs that weren't responding anymore.

As he gave up copying the blonde kid's moves Duke sat back down on the floor and waited for Vivian to call him as she always did to inform him it was his turn to take a bath. But strangely Vivian didn't come.

Curious, Duke went towards the bath but he didn't have any impure intentions or anything like that as he learned last time through the "hard way" that Vivian always wore a swimsuit before bathing. That was the first time Duke experienced Vivian's pinches of Terror...

"Vivian?..." Duke called out towards the bathtub but nobody responded."Vivian? You ok?" Duke asked again but was still met with eerie silence.

After one minute passed fear took hold of Duke as he charged in the Bath.

"Vivian? Vivian!" Duke shouted as he rescued Vivian from the bathtub, drowning herself.

"Vivian! What were you doing?! Why were you..." Duke couldn't understand what was happening right now. He couldn't believe it.

*Cough Cough* Vivian coughed out the water as she looked at Duke with eyes filled with guilt.

She tried to hold back her tears but she couldn't deny the negative emotions that had already took hold of her heart.

"I... I'm sorry Duke... I couldn't get the loan. I failed... I failed" Vivian bitterly confessed. She felt extreme guilt that while Duke had to go through all that he had told her, she couldn't even procure a single loan... This was why she staggered as she heard of the hardships he had to go through.

"I couldn't hold my end of the bargain... We're bankrupt, Duke..." Vivian confessed with a devastated look.

"We're bankrupt..." Vivian repeated.

Desperation filled Duke's face as he realized the gravity of their situation. Anxiety began to get hold of him as his hands quivered in panic.

"Y-You made some investments right? I'm sure we can-"

It's pointless now... Those investments are all losses without continuing the plan. And we can't do that without the loan... I was so close too" Vivian clenched her teeth in regret and self-loathing."It's all my fault... I'm a failure"

During the night of their marriage, they made a contract that she would help him handle the expenses if he would help her be free. But sadly, Vivian couldn't hold her part of the bargain.

["And for the record... I don't think you're stupid... nor are you dumb"]

Duke remembered Vivian's words in the past as he felt indescribable anger and sadness when he heard Vivian, one of the few people deny his lack of potential call herself a failure.

"You're not a failure!!!" Duke angrily shouted as he tightly hugged Vivian, making sure she doesn't let go.

"Duke, just let me be... Although not many people tell you or realize... You're a nice and talented person. Let me go... One way or another you'll become someone great and... and I'll just pull you down with me... Maybe you'd even be able to marry a real Princess next time... Not a phony illegitimate one like me" Vivian dejectedly confessed her true feelings that developed as she stayed with Duke over the past month.

Duke looked at Vivian's eyes and it reminded him of his grandfather. The moment Wael died, Gwaine too gave up on life."So WHAT? You're gonna give up just like Gramps did? You both say you can do it Duke, you're amazing Duke, but you won't actually do the journey with me?" Duke shouted.

"Don't you realize?... I don't need a Princess! I didn't need some Great Knight. I just needed my grandpa..."

"And I need you, Vivian... Please please please stay..."

"I need you"

Duke hugged her as tightly as he could, crying out his true feelings.

Vivian finally cried out all of her frustrations as she hugged Duke back wailing like a little child in front of him.

For the first time since maybe the death of her mother, Vivian could feel safe enough to cry like a child again.

[Duke you big idiot!...] Duke lambasted himself while he looked at Vivian who was crying in his arms, realizing how stupid it was of him to think that he could just dump all of the responsibility and emotional baggage to Vivian who did nothing but support him in every way while he ran away from a few measly bandits because of irrational fear...

Duke laughed at himself at how hypocritical his words were as he told Vivian not to give up on him when he was clearly going to give up on becoming a Knight.

That day Duke etched into his very soul the meaning of protecting someone as he clenched his arms.

[No longer will this world catch me off-guard like what happened to Annie... or what almost happened to Vivian...] Duke vowed that day as he tightly clenched his fists.

{Verdan-gil, God of Protection and Stalwart Defiance, Defender of the Steadfast has blessed you with the "Stalwart Defender's Heart" and the "Protector's Defiant Soul"}