The story is filled with plot twists. I did not expect Mori to fall in love with Haruhi. But, I feel like you're describing too much.
For example, The audience didnt need to know that Haruhi was eating a banana because it held no relevance to the story at all. We also didn't need to know that Haruhi was going to the park because nothing happened there besides her going to sleep and waking up.
5 years ago
2
kenstory
Hi there!
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Good luck for writing!
The story is filled with plot twists. I did not expect Mori to fall in love with Haruhi. But, I feel like you're describing too much. For example, The audience didnt need to know that Haruhi was eating a banana because it held no relevance to the story at all. We also didn't need to know that Haruhi was going to the park because nothing happened there besides her going to sleep and waking up.
Hi there! Are you looking for inspiration? You might want to check out our Prompts Writing contest! Apocalypse, Isekai, LitRPG... Follow the three provided prompts and take the chance to win up to $2,000! Please Google 70daysthemedwritingchallenge to find out more! This contest is free entry and open to any writer at any country. If you had any query, please feel free to contact ringdom_promptswriting@hotmail.com Good luck for writing!