Chapter 18: greenery

Kakashi, for a single, heart-stopping moment, thought Toshiro was leaning in to kiss him.

(Which, okay, he did, but not how Kakashi expected.)

The shorter male had pressed close enough for Kakashi to count every freckle dotting his cheeks, body leaning up — probably on his tip-toes, with their four inch height difference. Slightly parted lips, half-lidded eyes — what had he been supposed to think? His brain had completely flatlined, actually, so not much thinking took place at all. It came back online to register the fact that the soft pressure on his cheek was Toshiro's lips.

He stood completely still when the other man trailed away without thought, shutting his bedroom door behind him. Kakashi remained, in shock, unable to move from his frozen position in the hallway like an idiot. Beneath his skin, his heart pulsed and ached like never before. He crouched slowly, trying to swallow down the suffocating, nameless emotion. It felt like his body was attempting to throw up the sun. His skin burned and his hands shook and all he could do was press his forehead to his knees and try to breathe. Some desperate, feral part of him just wanted.

Wanted to throw that door back open and actually kiss Toshiro. Wanted to touch him until he cried, until he said he'd only be Kakashi's and no one else's.

The softer part of him still wanted all that, yeah. There's no use lying to himself at this point when he can practically smell his own arousal. But he also wanted to just… hold Toshiro. Run his hands through long blond hair or press his nose to that lightly freckled neck and sit, timeless.

Kakashi didn't do emotion like this, he mentally could not compute. The humiliation was intense, enough to make him want to scream — and he just didn't do that. Beyond that, it was...if he had to choose a word, breathtaking. Incredible. Like he could channel his inner Gai and run around Konoha 500 times.

Fact: I want to touch Toshiro.

What else?

The man was his friend, one of the best he's ever and likely will ever have. They shared a home, a life, their fears and hopes. Kakashi would slit his own throat for Toshiro, and he knows the other man would do exactly the same for him. It wasn't healthy in the slightest, but they were shinobi and the possibility was alway present. Death was always present.

Fact: I don't know what I'd do without Toshiro.

Okay, okay.

Kakashi runs his hands through his hair and clutches at the silvery strands. He thumps his forehead against his knees repeatedly, trying to knock some sense into his disoriented mind. It's a bit like drowning. Or getting tossed into a lake headfirst and told to figure it out, except you couldn't swim yet, so it was a lot of failing and swallowing water. He needed to learn how to tread water.

(Swim, Kakashi. Swim.)

With a great sigh, Kakashi drops his hands from his hair and finally stands.

Fact: I wanted Toshiro to kiss me.

He doesn't sleep well that night.

Inuzuka Kiba gets along with Naruto some days. On others, he's the main source of teasing the Uzumaki faces. Toshiro won't pretend to understand how their relationship works. He's pretty sure they're just so similar in exuberance that bad blood never sits between them for very long. After all, the Inuzuka might be a bit rude, but he's never been downright cruel.

That doesn't mean Toshiro knows how to handle the kid, his likeness to Naruto aside.

"It's you." Kiba exclaims, one fingering rudely pointing at Toshiro. He has no idea why the Inuzuka heir is with the group today. It's the first time the boy has been to the Hatake Compound. "The nee-san from before!"

Asuhi reaches over and, in a very Uzumaki-like fashion, smacks Kiba upside the head. "Toshi-nii is a boy, dummy." She flashes her teeth, most of her little fangs having grown in.

Kiba flashes his own right back, though they are marginally less impressive and he's missing one on the bottom. "Well how was I supposed to know! He looks like a girl!"

Sai leans against Ino to give the illusion that he's whispering to her, but speaks loud enough to be purposefully heard, "He just can't wrap his head around the fact that he thinks Shiro-nii-san is pretty."

Toshiro puts a hand over his mouth when Kiba lunges at Sai, only for Ino to shriek and sock him across the face. They go tumbling into the grass, play fighting while Akamaru barks around them nervously.

Sai blinks. "Thanks for defending my honor."

"I don't know if that's how you use that phrase." Gin mutters, and Shikamaru sighs loudly. The group looks half-humored, half-exasperated. The Hatake puppies have now joined Akamaru in excitedly dancing around the wrestling duo, and Sakura is cheering loudly for Ino.

"Shiro-nii, don't listen to Kibaka!" Naruto exclaims, all sunshine and vehemence. He grips Toshiro's hand with childish certainty. "Guys can be pretty too, ya know!"

"Thank you, Naruto." His voice wavers when he replies. It's incredibly hard to hold back his laughter in the face of Naruto's earnest expression. "It's okay though, I wasn't too worried. A little surprised his nose didn't tell him, though."

"It's because you smell like the hospital more than anything, nii-san." Kojika explains, picking up her happy little sesame puppy, Rin.

"Yeah," Haruki rubs under his nose, "Especially after you finish a shift. It's easier to just tone down the senses than get the full brunt of that nasty rubbing alcohol scent."

Well, that's something. Maybe he should try showering at the hospital before coming home. It's what he does after shifts that take over twenty-four hours, so it's not like it'll be a new experience. He usually forgoes it on short shifts because he'd rather just get home and be comfortable. But if it's really bothering the Hatake kids…

"Hm." He mutters to himself. There's probably some heavy duty scent-blocking seals I could pick up.

The thing about his current scent-blocking seals is that they're for blocking scents coming off his body. Scents that he picks up while wandering through the day can still cling to his clothes, including all the nastiness that comes with spending many hours at the hospital. In that way, it generally aids an active shinobi by letting their clothes take on the scent of the surrounding terrain while on missions, thus covering any possible sensory blindspots that could be seen (or in this case, smelled) as suspicious.

Most of his lounge wear at the house doesn't have the seals, because while they aren't especially expensive — they're far too integral and mainstream for that — it seems a waste when in the safety of his own home. And the Hatake like having their natural scents all over each other. They're very… dog-like in that way.

Toshiro isn't oblivious to the way Kakashi leads with his nose. Or the way he'll dip his head to catch the scent of one of the kids or Toshiro. The man had once frozen on the street, stood to attention with his head in the air like a bloodhound — before disappearing in a poof of smoke just as Gai appeared, a challenge on his lips.

It's just a fact of life Toshiro has had to get used to.

(He'd also woken up a few weeks ago with Kakashi's bare nose pressed to his neck after they fell asleep together. That had been...a thing.)

"Well," he claps, breaking out of his thoughts. "Who wants a snack? Yukimura-sensei dropped some food off while you were at the academy."

"YES!" Touma screams, bolting past Toshiro and into the house. "TAKOYAKI!"

Kiba, in a mildly shocking display when considering his personality, actually follows last, nose in the air as he scents the place. Toshiro assumes it has to do with some kind of dog...thing. The boy is essentially entering the domain of another alpha.

Maybe I should have talked to Kakashi about this…. Because while Toshiro doesn't see any harm in letting the Inuzuka in, it could actually be a problem. Maybe? Again, dog thing. Though they are technically allies, seeing as they're all Konoha nin…

Note to self, learn more about dog things.

He wishes he had one of his little sticky note pads on him.

Ah, well. He'll deal with any possible repercussions later. The Hatake Clan Head is fine with the Uchiha wandering in and out, and most of them are tied to the cat contract.

He startles when he hears something break in the kitchen. "Wait a second, kids! Only a little, don't ruin your appetite!"

Pink.

Kakashi stares straight ahead. He doesn't move — no, that's not good. Act natural. His gaze slips to the side without his permission. Ah.

Through the onsen steam and murky waters, Toshiro looks like an otherworldly painting. His long, pale gold hair is piled up high on his head, loose strands sticking to his cheeks and neck. Water drips down flushed skin, damp and shining. He's slick with steam and sweat. Pink eyes are shut, head tilted back against the rocks. Toshiro looks completely and utterly relaxed.

And naked.

(Even if Kakashi can't see anything through the water, nor had he peeked when the other man first got in, because it made him feel way too dirty at just the thought of trying.)

Kakashi swallows. This was an awful idea. Absolutely dreadful. He should have never agreed to visiting the springs, even if Toshiro had looked so earnest and excited, having never been before. He should've put his foot down or lied out of his ass, made up some kind of mission or just plain said nah, I don't feel like it. Instead he's here, tortured, trying not to look at Toshiro's wet, pinkened skin and pink nipples because Holy Sage he was so cute.

Everything about Toshiro is cute.

(Kakashi might be biased. Or a hypocrite? He wants everyone to acknowledge that Toshiro is cute, but also wants to gut anyone who dares admit it.)

Toshiro's eyes crack open. His cheeks flush a darker red, chin tilting down as his teeth briefly play with his bottom lip. "You're staring, Kakashi-kun."

"You look relaxed." Kakashi says with all the nonchalance he doesn't feel. "Didn't realize how tense you were."

"Yeah," Toshiro sighs, rubbing one of his shoulders. "Who knew being a shinobi was stressful?"

Kakashi's lips twitch under his face towel. "Yeah, that cushy desk job must really be hell on your back."

Those pink — Sage, everything was pink and gold — eyes narrow playfully, no real heat to them. "You want to trade places, is that what I'm hearing?"

"No, no, I'm sure you've got everything under control. Really." With their easy banter, Kakashi can almost pretend they aren't naked and less than three feet apart. Almost.

Toshiro smirks, an expression that wouldn't look out of place in the Uchiha compound. "Please, I'd like to see you suffer a single day behind a desk. You wouldn't last five minutes."

If Kakashi had his book — he'd never risk Icha Icha with all this water — he'd take this opportunity to flip a page while appearing casually disinterested. "Hm."

It's probably true.

"By the way, I think Sai wants to visit the Aburame Compound."

Kakashi blinks at the conversation change, "Oh? When did he get so chummy with the heir?" Unless the kid has mentioned something, and Kakashi missed it. Which. He might have, to be fair.

Toshiro levels him with a vaguely unimpressed look. Ah. "Sai talks about him on occasion, and usually talks briefly with the boy before leaving the Academy for the day. You'd know if you came to pick them up."

There's something else hanging there, unspoken and heavy in the steamy air. Kakashi feels a frown on his mouth. It's not that he doesn't like the kids. He does. They're his pack. But Kakashi still has no idea how to deal with children, even prodigious ones. Handling the kids from a distance works best for him, because then he's less liable to screw up them or just in general. Of course, that means he's shunted off all his actual child-rearing duties onto Toshiro, who isn't a Hatake Clan member. All Kakashi does is provide Clan training and the occasional awkward word of advice. He's present, obviously. But not in the way Toshiro is.

The children don't turn to him for advice. They don't seek him out when they're scared or have questions or even just to show him something cool they found.

They look to him for training and adhere to his word because he's their Clan Head and they still carry some measure of discipline from their time with Danzo. Kakashi fits well into the older brother slot with his distant-but-not-too-distant attitude. But Toshiro? He's a full blown mother-father package. Exactly what these kids need. Kakashi hasn't the slightest clue in how to compete or even match.

"You're not going to ruin them, Kakashi-kun."

He sighs, "Stop reading my mind. I'm the one with the sharingan."

"Can't help it," Toshiro replies, his smile delightfully soft. "I know you too well."

Sage, I hope not. Is all Kakashi can think, because he doesn't know what he'll do if his perverted thoughts are obvious enough to read.

"I'm just saying, it wouldn't hurt to get a bit more involved in their lives." The man continues, water rippling around him as he shifts a little. "You're going to blink and they'll all be moved into their own houses. Then where will you be?"

Regretful.

The word smacks him quite sharply across the face. This conversation is officially too deep and depressing for their current situation of hot, sweaty nakedness. They're even the only ones in the men's side — the perfect luck — and the kids are all still at the Academy. It's just them. Alone. Just like one of the scenes in Icha Icha.

And we're talking about "feelings."

"I get it." He finally settles on saying, because in all honesty he does. Even if he doesn't want to utter the truth of the matter. Regret is perhaps his biggest fear. There's already too much of it weighing him down, even as he slowly trudges down the path of healing.

"Besides," Toshiro mumbles, suddenly looking very red and bashful, his gaze avoiding Kakashi's. "The Academy instructors have been referring to me as Hatake-sama, as I'm the one who shows up and signs all the documents."

Kakashi promptly chokes on absolutely nothing but his own gay thoughts.

Hatake Toshiro doesn't sound so bad.

Week three hits and Shisui still isn't back. That's not always cause for immediate worry. Things happen all the time, and missions that require a bit of travel always have looser dates. But shunshin no Shisui has no problem in the speed department. All Toshiro can think about are the many, many different ways the man could possibly be dead in a ditch right now.

Maybe it was too soon to go back into the field.

It was Shisui's first mission since the incident with Danzo two years ago. There had been a slow recovery process, then the man was forced to retrain himself entirely because of his new handicap. Having one eye meant a huge literal blind spot and issues with depth perception. All very big problems for an active shinobi of Shisui's caliber. The kind of missions he usually went on before all this were the ones where the slightest mistake could lead to his death. Mistakes were far too easy to make when you made the wrong call about how close or far your enemy was.

Obviously the man didn't go on an S-ranked mission, that wasn't very fitting for his slow return to work. No, Shisui was on a basic B-rank retrieval mission. For what, Toshiro wasn't privy to and didn't ask.

Now he kind of wishes he did, in the hopes it might have assuaged his current worries a little. Hoshika has been visiting pretty frequently over the three weeks, and when they hit day two past the time Shisui was supposed to be back, she'd just taken to sleeping on their couch.

Kakashi didn't say anything.

Toshiro is pretty sure she doesn't want to spend time with any family members pressuring her for answers about what could possibly be happening to her boyfriend. At least with him, he's equally as worried and unwilling to speculate out loud. The kids and dogs provide a good distraction, too.

"He's never been late before." She says one night, "Always been too good, being a shitty little prodigy 'n all."

It's day five past the set return date.

Toshiro doesn't have the words to soothe her.

On the third day of week four, Uchiha Shisui comes home. His familiar chakra signature flares, startling everyone in the house, before he appears at the front door. There's no time to react before he slams it open without waiting for someone to let him in.

Hoshika drops the bowl of soggy cereal she'd been holding, the milk splattering across the floorboards.

Shisui is missing most of his jounin jacket and his clothes are torn, bloody and singed. He's missing one sandal and dripping crimson on the already milk-wet wood. Exhaustion lines every part of him, a vivid bruise is painted across his jaw and his eyes are glassy with lack of sleep.

They collide soundlessy, and Kakashi urges the kids out of the kitchen quickly. Toshiro can barely breathe. Shisui grips Hoshika like he's a dying man, sinking all his weight into her tall, lithe frame and she holds steadfast. Her arms are wrapped around him in return, her fists clenched in the remnants of his tattered jounin vest.

He kisses her. "I beat the shit out of Orochimaru."

Then he kisses her again before she can even comment.

Toshiro does not have that same restriction. "You did what!?"

"Oh," Shisui pulls away, blinking hazily. "Yeah. That happened. Hey, can you tenderly repair me, Shiro-chan? I think every one of my ribs is broken and I can't feel my left big toe. You won't have to amputate it, right? I like my toe."

"Hospital, now."

"Ergh, can't we just do it here?" The half-loopy Uchiha protests.

Hoshika swiftly picks up all nearly six feet of her boyfriend in a bridal carry. "We're going."

"Ohhh, Hoshi-chan!" Shisui laughs as they leave, "You're so stroooong!"

"Oh my Sage, he's poisoned." Toshiro whispers. "Or concussed."

This earns him a grim look from Hoshika, "Shiro, this is exactly how he normally acts and you know it."

That's...true. It doesn't make him any less worried. To Shisui, he mutters, "You are in a world of trouble, mister."

"Sorry," the man in question replies, flashing them a very tired grin, "But you should see the other guy."

Toshiro doesn't exactly have the clearance level to listen in on missions that enter S-Rank territory, which is exactly what Shisui's had become once the snake sannin had come out of the woodworks to attack. From what he is told, the nukenin had been after Shisui's body. For his eye? Or genetics in general. The actual reasoning was a bit fuzzy. Either way, one eye or not, Shisui still had a mangekyou, a genius level intellect and skill set, and some other wacky Uchiha powers that Toshiro probably wasn't supposed to know about.

In the end Orochimaru had escaped. As much as Toshiro hates the man, he hardly cares about that now after knowing how hard it must have been for Shisui to just get home. The only good thing to come out of this was Shisui confirming that he dealt heavy damage to the snake, enough that he would face some serious repercussions. Oh, and apparently the snake was interested in obtaining more Uchiha.

For another eye.

"It was really rude, actually." Shisui mutters. "He wants me for my body but can't accept my single eye? Talk about being ableist."

Toshiro very carefully does not roll his eyes up to the ceiling. Hoshika doesn't have the same compunction. Of course the Uchiha has bounced right back from almost being murdered again over his damn pinwheel eyeballs. At this rate, it probably would've been better to have kept the whole thing a secret. (A little hard to do if you used them in battle, but…)

It almost seemed like they were a little more trouble than they were worth. Then again, Toshiro wasn't an Uchiha, so he didn't really know.

"I have to meet with Itachi now, so don't do anything stupid." He meets Hoshika's eyes. "Again."

She smirks in return when Shisui complains about them ganging up on him again. Toshiro leaves them, walking out of the seal-heavy hospital room and down the hall to another. He swipes a bitten thumb across the seal on the side of the door, watching as the smear of blood steams and evaporates against the kanji, the chakra infused blood powering the unlock order. Itachi waits inside, as stoic and patient as ever.

"How is Shisui?" The Godaime asks before Toshiro can even open his mouth.

He grins wryly as he approaches the man and prepares for the usual process, "Cracking jokes already."

Itachi manages something of a smile at that. "I'm glad. Less enthused about Orochimaru's intentions." He remains motionless as the med-nin checks his basic vitals with a diagnostic jutsu before beginning the procedure.

"You and me both," Toshiro sets to expelling the correct mix of yin and yang chakra, free of any one nature. It condenses visibly around his hands, green and glowing. The healing chakra seeps into Itachi's chest, repairing a bit of wear on the lung tissue and clearing a slight build-up of mucus. Itachi's body produces very few of the AAT proteins, but the count is not zero. It helps pinpoint the site of production and lets Toshiro increase it. It would be a different story if Itachi had none at all, and therefore no cells for Toshiro to replicate. Then they'd just have to go a different route — the transfusion kind. Which is much more tedious and not something easily hidden, unfortunately.

So. Lucky. A few more sessions and Itachi will quite easily be able to do this on his own. With each check-up, he learns a little more about the process and gets a little better at understanding it. His sharingan remains on the entire time, every time. All to assess how the chakra moves. Toshiro has also been giving his esteemed Hokage assigned readings and practice instructions.

Those poor fish.

At least Itachi moved on from blowing them up years ago.

"Sandaime-sama is...weary, but understanding of my intent to resume pursuit of Orochimaru." Itachi admits quietly, still watching Toshiro's hands carefully. "What would you have done, had you been him? Had it been your student?"

Toshiro already knows his answer, because he's thought the very same question late at night after reading Danzo's and Orochimaru's disgusting notes. "I would have killed them myself. I understand love — and what Sandaime-sama feels for his former student is most certainly that — but I also understand exactly what kind of activities Orochimaru has been up to. Maybe I'd always love my student, like Sandaime-sama, but I can't let that love be greater than the crimes committed. I'd never be able to live with myself."

A slight furrow appears between Itachi's brows, his contemplative expression slightly twisting the thin scar that slices through one of them. "I as well."

Which is why we will never understand the decisions Sandaime-sama made. Toshiro thinks, and knows that the younger man echoes it.

He pulls his hands away from Itachi's chest, letting the chakra fade from his hands. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." The young Hokage takes quick stock of himself, "Better. Thank you, sensei."

Toshiro huffs in amusement, "Don't mention it. You aren't in a rush to get back to all that paperwork, are you?"

Itachi's expressions flattens, which is an answer all on its own.

"Go visit your cousin and future cousin-in-law." Toshiro chuckles, "I'm sure he's already driving Hoshika up the wall."

With a slight nod, Itachi makes to leave the room, his steps soundless. Toshiro sighs into the now empty space, hands on his hips. He feels the weight of exhaustion deep in his bones. The effects of the recent trip to that onsen are long gone. Maybe another visit is due...

The image of a shirtless Kakashi flashes through his mind. Toshiro feels his mouth go dry when he recalls the expanse of pale, scarred skin and rippling muscle. Kakashi isn't bulky, he's lithe and streamlined — built for speed and stealth. The perfect hunter. Slight next to someone like Gai, who's built like a brick house, but nowhere near thin. Nowhere near dainty. Toshiro is certain he might have drooled when Kakashi had reached up to wash that silver mop of hair and his biceps had bulged. Flushing terribly, Toshiro presses his hands to hot cheeks and wills himself to calm down.

On second thought, maybe the onsen isn't good for his health.

Toshiro knows that the kids are all friends. He knows that Sakura has been improving leaps and bounds after he'd taken her under his wing. It's still shocking to walk into Hatakata's, a shinobi supply store, to see Sasuke pulling items off the shelves and explaining in great detail what each one is and does to a heavily blushing Sakura.

He doesn't know how it got to the point where the two of them hung out by themselves. Faintly, Toshiro realizes that oh no, I know what's going on. Sasuke sees Sakura as a project. A habit he's likely gotten from watching Toshiro and Itachi. He's seen something that can be better and then did something about it. And Toshiro can't even scold him for it.

(It's not like he's doing any harm, and it's probably improving Sakura's survival chances in the shinobi world.)

Sasuke takes a naginata off the wall.

Toshiro very deftly plucks it from the eleven year old's hands. "Let's not touch the sharp blades that aren't yours until you become genin, deal?"

"Toshi-sensei!" Sasuke exclaims, startled. He flushes a deep red after glancing at Sakura. "What are you doing here?"

How cute, he's embarrassed at being caught doing something nice.

"Picking up a fresh spool of ninja wire." He explains. "One of my sets has a bit of rust damage. Happens more than I'd like because of my water nature."

"Why not use seals to prevent water damage?" Sakura inquires, finding her voice even though her cheeks are still cherry red.

"Well," he raises an amused eyebrow, "Do you think you could get a seal on something as thin as a strand of hair?" His tone is lightly teasing, so as not to embarrass her. Her emotional state is still pretty iffy and that last thing he wants is for her to think that he thinks she's an idiot.

Especially when she's not.

"Ah." Luckily the girl just makes a sound of realization.

Ninja wire is exceedingly thin and tricky to spot, making it useful for traps. It also has to be made from a loose, flexible metal that unfortunately sustains damage over time or due to the type of usage it faced. You can't exactly be picky. Yet. With time, Toshiro is sure someone will come up with something to improve it.

(Weapons are always made bigger, better and badder, after all. Humanity loves violence far too much.)

"What're you two in here for?" At the question, both kids re-adopt their embarrassed expressions for different reasons. Still so easy to read.

"I'm familiarizing Sakura with the kinds of items each shinobi store carries." Sasuke grumbles, lips falling into the pout he refuses to admit he ever does. "She needs some extra help since the academy reforms won't be as effective for older students that are near graduating age."

Sasuke is right, because the reforms affect each year and create a whole new system of education. The ones who would reap the benefits of all of it were the youngest. The next few years of graduates might need a little help and be short many civilian-born hopefuls who didn't make the cut, but eventually the cycle would right itself.

Had to start somewhere, after all.

"Good point, Sasuke."

The boy poorly hides a smile at the praise.

"Um, Sensei?" Sakura interrupts nervously. "I actually had a question...do you think you could train me in medical ninjutsu?"

Toshiro blinks, "Oh? Decided to take me up on my offer, then?"

Sakura nods, her green eyes wide and earnest. "I want to be able to help my friends as well as protect them."

His gaze flickers to Sasuke, who's watching Sakura with an almost unreadable expression. The kid has definitely been emulating Itachi lately, it's kind of cute. (Toshiro always finds the kids cute though, so maybe he's just being biased.) It's not a bad look. There's almost a hint of approval.

"Sure thing, Sakura-chan. But it'll be hard work, so be prepared. And I won't start formal training until you're a genin. Even then I'll have to talk to your jounin sensei about it."

"I understand." She nods, sighing. A bit of her excitement drains away at the mention of a wait time. He can't really blame her. Sitting around when there's something you want to do is like torture...it's probably why Toshiro ended up here, on this path of revolution.

Toshiro buys his new spool of ninja wire. The kids stay a little longer, Sasuke still directing Sakura through the store. They wave when he leaves and he sends them one back.

They're an unlikely pair, but Toshiro can't help but think that they actually make rather good friends. Maybe they'll even end up on the same team.

He tries not to think too hard on the fact that their graduation is just over a year away. It feels like just yesterday they were seven or eight and still tripping over themselves. Ah, how time flies.