2/5

"Shishishi! Of course, we are! We don't dine-and-dash a celebration meal." Luffy said with a firm nod of his head and imparted more of his knowledge to his apprentice. "You dine-and-dash when you eat ramen, when you run out of money for snacks or when your brothers tell you to run for it. Since you don't have any brothers you can do it when someone on the crew tells you to run for it."

Medaka nodded at Luffy's advice, taking it to heart. The waiter seemed much more at ease once he found out the group of pirates he was seating wasn't being aggressive and weren't going to start a fight and so he grabbed a few menus from behind the stand and led the group farther into the restaurant. The interest in them from the other guests had faded away once a fight didn't break out so the waiter tried to make conversation with them as he led them to an open table.

"So may I ask what you're celebrating today? A successfully completed voyage? Perhaps you found a hidden treasure? Is it someone's birthday?"

"No, none of those. We have a flag now and I just got my first bounty." Luffy said with an excited smile as he sat down at the table. "I'm going to eat so much meat!"

The waiter didn't know what to say to that. "Er...? Congratulations then. Take your time looking at the menus and I'll return soon to take your orders and payments."

Ann's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the prices listed next to some of the items on the menu. Single dishes ranged from a minimum of 2000 beris all the way up to 30000 beris with the price of a couple of things even being suspiciously labeled 'unlisted', causing her to think they might range even higher.

She felt a pulling sensation at her gut and reminded herself that she would have food soon. It was tricky though because everything on the menu looked and sounded very delicious. After five minutes she had only just picked out what she thought Balloon would like to have when the waiter returned with a pad in one hand to take their orders and a checkbook underneath to take their money.

"Now then, what would you like to have?" The waiter certainly was efficient in taking everyone's orders and payments simultaneously.

"Meat!" Luffy demanded as he pointed at the entire beef section. "I want all of these!" The waiter huffed and wrote down the order. "That'll be 35400 beris."

"I'll have the chef's selection nigiri sushi and bring out two bottles of warmed Shimotsuki souchu as well," Zoro said without any further fuss. "20300 beris."

"I'd like the citrus sesame hen with the cucumber salad." Nami requested. "7000 beris."

"I want the pan-seared searing shrimp and scallops and a caramel pudding too!" Medaka said as she pointed excitedly at the dessert section. "5200 beris."

"Oh, the ahi tuna seasoned rare with the pickled peppers, please." Ann said as she began ordering for Balloon first. "6000 beris."

The waiter then left and Ann realized he hadn't taken her order for herself. Getting up to follow after him she said. "I'll be right back!"

She didn't mind getting up to go after the waiter, though he did walk so fast that she was only able to catch up to him just before he went into the kitchen to put in the group order.

"Excuse me. I ordered the tuna for my friend back on our ship, but you left before I could order for myself." Ann explained as she stopped him by grabbing his upper arm and then releasing him right away.

The waiter seemed a bit embarrassed as he groaned and said, "I'm sorry Miss Pirate. I've been on my feet since before sunrise this morning. What is it you'd like to order then?"

"What's the most filling item on the menu, actually? I'm feeling pretty famished right now." Ann asked, not minding what it would turn out to be.

"The most filling thing? That would be the sous-chef special then. It's filling without being too rich on the stomach: a spicy seafood linguine paired with a rosemary loaf and olive oil drizzle."

"That actually sounds pretty good - I'll have that, please." Ann said as she pulled out her wallet to pay.

"That'll be 500 beris." The waiter said as he held out his hand to collect the money to add to the billfold.

"It's that cheap?" Ann asked, feeling genuinely astonished. It seemed that the unlisted price items on the menu were actually less expensive instead of more expensive, which she thought was backward from restaurants like this.

"The chef special and the sous-chef special are always the cheapest things on the menu, by the request of the sous chef." The waiter admitted before scowling and adding his own opinion about it. "The sous-chef special is a real drain on this place if you ask me. It's the number one thing that keeps this place from being true high dining... well that and all those brutish cooks. The place would be a lot more high end if Head Chef Zeff replaced the lot of them or kept them in line better."

"If you say so. I'll be going back to my table, then." Ann said nonchalantly, not interested in workplace drama. She turned to leave, just missing it when several cooks swarmed out of the kitchen, converging together on the now extremely frightened waiter. In the resulting scuffle, the Straw Hat crew's order was displaced and it wouldn't be noticed until a much later time.

After sitting for a little more than thirty minutes while they chatted together cheerfully and drank the water provided to them by a second waiter (The second waiter mentioned the first was taking an unexpected 'break' and apologized for having to swap). It was just as Luffy had laid his head face down on the table, complaining loudly about being hungry, when another group of (probably) pirates came boisterously into the restaurant. The already dining guests began to perk up again and drew the Straw Hat's attention to the front of the restaurant because of it.

There was a large group of them with three of them at the head of the group. The first was tall and was more shapely than he was muscular with wild black hair and the necklace full of sharp teeth strung around his neck. The second was a thin and tall man with short purple hair and a wide mouth that had his tongue sticking out of it. The last one was a bulky and muscular man with brown hair tied in braided pigtails.

The lead man gave out a hearty laugh before he said, "A table for my crew, man! I'm Captain 'Orca Killer' Billy of the Yes Pirates, a crew feared throughout the Valerian Region! Me and my crew are heading west into the Grand Line today to become a crew famous throughout all the five seas and we need something substantial before we set off!"

The waiter gave a strained looking smile to the pirate and said, "Is that so? Well, we currently have a standing policy to make sure our guests can pay for their meals here at the Baratie before they order. You lot will need to pay upfront."

"How dare you ask me such a thing! I'm worth 5,000,000 beris you know! I had heard good things about this place but it's obviously a load of garbage! Well, you can take the slop you serve here and give it to the rats!" Billy the Orca killer snarled and slapped a platter down from a passing waiter, breaking the dishes across the floor and scattering the food there.

"Hey! Don't waste the food! That was for someone to eat." The waiter automatically scolded before turning pale and quickly stepping away from the pirates - seemingly frightened of them. The rest of the diners seemed to be eagerly watching the events when loud cursing and shouting came from the staircase before a person suddenly appeared in front of the other pirate crew.

So this was what the other diners had been waiting for.

It was just the one man against the ten. He had golden blond hair and was wearing a chef's coat over his suit which was the only thing that gave away his identity as a cook. Well, that and his loud scolding of the other pirates for wasting other people's food.

"How DARE you scabby, soggy, pack of morons waste food while out here at sea! Do you want to die!? It would be a mercy for me to drown you all outside right now! You all are going to eat that food you spilled all over the floor and then you're going to pay for breaking all those dishes!"

Luffy pouted and said, "No fair. They just got here and they get to eat before we do."

"You have stretchy arms, don't you? Just grab it off the floor before they get to it if you really want it." Medaka suggested as she shamelessly egged him on.

"It's the one minute rule, Luffy." Dawn's quiet voice came up from his pocket and Luffy brightened up with a smile, stretching his arm out to sneak away the tastiest looking pieces of food that he could see from off the ground.

"What's the one minute rule?" Nami asked, trying not to stare or be phased by Luffy's now conspicuous bulging cheeks that had been stuffed with an unknown roasted bird and a second unknown grilled meat of some kind.

"If food that falls on the ground is unclaimed within a minute whoever picks it up is allowed to eat it." Dawn's quiet voice explained, sounding like a far off whisper.

The guests who were still watching the blond cook kick the collective butts of the hapless Yes Pirates seemed to be greatly entertained by the spectacle of it. Some of the guests were cheering the cook on while others were just jeering at the pirates he was in the middle of beating. The portly guest in the blue shirt had put his fork back down onto his table and was holding a napkin over his mouth in order to cover his amused smile. The red-eyed man with the wine (who hadn't seemed to be eating anything but instead was now finishing up his fourth bottle of chilled wine) actually toasted his nearly empty glass, looking greatly amused by the event.

There was especially excited chatter coming from the table where the two girls were sitting together.

"Oh how nice - it's Sanji this time." The young lady with the short silvery-blond hair said to her companion with equally short black hair in a short skirt.

Her companion smiled in response to her comment and said, "I know, right? I was just thinking about ordering a dessert too since I'm still feeling a bit hungry."

"What do you think they mean by that?" Ann whispered her question to Nami, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"Who knows? It must be something that regular guests here are familiar with, though."

By this time Billy the Orca Killer had finally bowed in surrender to Sanji, who finally ceased his attack. "I'm so sorry! I won't ever do it again - I swear! I'll pay for the dishes I broke too! Just please don't kick me anymore!"

The blond cook, whose name was Sanji apparently, smoothly lit his cigarette and as he faced away from the downed pirate captain said, "If you cause any more trouble here I'll kick you all back onto your ship myself. Now make yourselves useful and get back to the kitchen to pay Patty for breaking the dishes."

The subdued group slunk back to where he directed them and once they were all out of sight Sanji scowled over at the rowdy group of sailors across the room who had been cheering him on and jeering at the pirates and began to scold them next.

"Mind your manners in front of the ladies, you loud bloodthirsty bastards." Once he switched his gaze from looking at the men over to the lady customers it was like a switch had been flipped in him as he went from rough and crass to sweet and gentlemanly. "You have my deepest apologies, lovely Madams, and Mademoiselles. I will be around to each of you shortly to receive your request for a complimentary dessert for having to sit through such a rough-looking event."

Ann twitched slightly and whispered to Nami, "Maybe I should duck into the restroom real quick?"

Nami's quick reflexes allowed her to grab Ann's wrist before she could get up and she whispered back, "Oh no you don't. You need to face your fear in a safe location. This guy can't do anything crazy in public anyway so just stay here."

"I really don't like this." Ann hissed back but kept sitting at the table like Nami wanted her to, though her shoulders were noticeably tensed.

"What are you two even talking about?" Zoro asked, wondering if he should be getting ready to defend against this cook that Ann seemed to be so wary over.

Nami simply laughed and said, "You'll see soon enough. Just watch - this is going to be funny."

"Not for me..." Ann muttered back and purposely focused only on the glass of water in front of her.

Sanji was glad to see and speak with all of the Baratie's lovely regulars that he had witnessed come in over and over again over the last eight years, but it was always a treat for him to encounter someone lovely and new.

As he made his rounds to get the dessert orders for each of the lady guests, making sure that everyone from Madame Shimi with the poofy white hair and lovely dewy eyes, to the radiant Melissa and Roxanne, who enjoyed their weekend dates as free and happy as a pair of summer spirits, were properly seen to he decided to save the best for last.

The men at the table of five were nothing special (of course) with one who was rough looking with hair like freshly cut grass and the physique of a warrior while the other was a thinner, scruffier looking black haired guy with a straw hat who had sun-warmed skin and a crescent-shaped scar under his left eye. There was a cute little girl with them that had wavy hair the color of a red rose with an adorable button nose and a spark of humor in her summer green eyes.

The duo of ladies sitting there however were something else entirely. The two were like spring and autumn made into womanly flesh (spring and autumn were now his favorite seasons) with one who had hair like an autumn leaf and eyes like warm cinnamon and the other whose hair was as blue as a cornflower with eyes as inky as the midnight sky. The confident smile of the autumn maiden made his heart race and the sweet blush on the cheeks of the spring maiden nearly had him swooning just by glancing at her.

"O sea, how grateful I am for this day of days! O Lady Fate has smiled upon me for I have seen unmatched beauty today!~"

"What a weird guy," The scruffy straw hat man muttered since he was feeling cranky and hungry even with his quick floor snack.

Sanji glared at him and said, "I'm a gentleman - not a weird guy, you scruffy straw pirate."

"It's okay - we like weird people," the little red-haired girl said with a hopeful smile that she hoped was passing as charming as could possibly be.

Sanji couldn't help but smile kindly down at her and gently asked, "Then I will take it as a compliment little mademoiselle. Is there anything you'd like from the menu as a treat? It'll be on the house for such a cute little miss."

"I just wish my dessert would get here faster. I really wanted a pudding."

"I'll see that you get an extra one, little miss, on the house. Would you like anything, o radiant autumn lady of light?"

She smiled cunningly and said, "Well the fruit parfait looked very good actually, but I can wait until after my meal for that."

"How about you, o sweet spring flower of the sea?" He asked and turned a charming smile over to the spring beauty.

She was very cute as she sputtered inelegantly and blurted out, "Restroom. Tell me where the restroom is!"

"Of course, my lovely cornflower. It's just beyond the center mast there on the right side. Is there any special treat that I could bring out for you, o lovely spring angel?" He asked with a charming smile and in a bit of whimsy used a sleight of hand trick to romantically summon a blooming rose into his hand which he reached over to hand to her.

This was too much for the bashful lady who caught him by the wrist, lifted him completely over her shoulder with a quick rotation, and slammed him hard down to the floor of the restaurant. "Just go away! This is too embarrassing!"

With that last shout, she made her escape to the restroom while Sanji simply laid flat on his back and took a long, quiet moment to just stay there deep in thought.

The two men and little girl were cracking up with laughter while the autumn beauty looked in the direction where the spring one had run off to with more concern. "I hope she'll be alright. I know she said she felt like she would die from embarrassment whenever she gets flirted with but I had no idea it was this bad."

"Are you kidding me? That was the funniest thing I've seen all week - and that includes her pajamas." The green-haired swordsman said, not bothering to hide his mirth.

"I will keep it in mind that that lovely spring flower is a sensitive soul..." Sanji said even as he stood back up to his feet. "I think I know what I can make for her to make her feel better."

"Just make our food." The scruffy straw hat man moaned from his end of the table, even as a puddle of drool seemed to be forming underneath his face as he laid his head face down again. "It's been forever and I'm still hungry."

"Hey, our service is very fast. Don't complain if you have to wait ten minutes or so for your food." Sanji scolded.

"But we've been waiting for a half-hour and all we've had is water." The red-haired girl joined her companion in complaining but added a very effective pair of sad pitiful eyes to enhance the effect. "I know Luffy ordered a lot but does it really take that long to cook all our food?"

Sanji's eyes narrowed and said, "Wait a minute. Did you all order from a sick looking skinny bastard in a wrinkled suit?"

"Yes, why?" The green-haired swordsman asked.

Sanji was already marching his way back to the kitchen while simultaneously rolling up his sleeves. "It's not important. I'll see that your food will be out in less than ten minutes."

He made his way into the kitchen and quickly scanned the well walked floors until he spotted a notepad and checkbook that had slid unnoticed between the wall and a cart of dishes waiting to be cleaned. He picked it up and nearly gawked at how full it was stuffed with beris. They had ordered this much food and had already paid this much money?

His heart warmed a little when he spotted that someone at the table had ordered his sous-chef special and he briefly wondered which person did so before he moved into action. Fortunately, all of the preparation of the ingredients was accomplished already earlier in the day and all he had to do was cook and plate up the food. The entire meat section, some sashimi sushi along with sake warmed at the side, a citrus glazed hen, seared shrimp and scallops, a whole delicately seared tuna, and his spicy seafood linguine with his personally created special sauce. The food was prepped and once the waiter came back in Sanji nearly kicked him out the door.

He looked down at the bill that was still in his chef coat pocket, pulled the wad of beris out of it before stuffing the money into an envelope and then handed the empty billfold and envelope to the waiter. "Here - put that back in the menu stand. One of you idiots dropped an order. When table five in section red is finished give them this refund discretely. If any of you waiters misplace an order again you'll get to pay for that customer's meal."

And so he looked out to the sea from the window and with a heavy breath muttered under his breath, "What did that green-haired baboon mean when he said her pajamas were funny? Do pirate ladies really sleep in the same quarters as...? No, that couldn't be it."

It seemed that the cook, Sanji, was true to his word. Within ten minutes of his departure, all of the food the Straw Hat's had ordered finally began to arrive at the table. Ann had only emerged from the restroom when she had been certain Sanji had left the dining room but still was looking at the staircase mast in the center of the room nervously.

There it was again - that pulling sensation on her gut that made her stomach growl again. Sitting in this restaurant and smelling all the delicious food must have been making her feel more hungry. She could even hear Luffy's stomach from where she sat nearly across from him.

"I think I'll take mine with me out to the crow's nest and eat with Balloon up there so he isn't lonely," Ann said as she easily picked up both her plate of pasta and Balloon's fish once they were placed in front of her. "I'll see you back with Dawn once you're finished eating here."

"Shee you 'at-ter, Awn." Luffy said, having already stuffed an entire prime rib into his mouth, giving his farewell before going to town on the ten dishes of meat laid before him.

Ann huffed but walked out the door with a bit of a skip in her step, feeling more and more energetic the closer she got to Dawn and Balloon outside. At least this way she wouldn't have to risk another embarrassing encounter with that flowery speaking cook again.

The customers dining at the Baratie would not soon forget the sight of Luffy devouring ten meals in less than one minute. Most folks looked slightly ill or faint at the sight but since Luffy had as much social awareness as a seagull at the beach, he stayed blissfully cheerful and ignored their horrified expressions.

"This food was really great!" Luffy said with a blissful smile on his face as he patted his already shrinking, comically engorged gut in satisfaction.

"You should give a compliment to the chef then," Nami said with a smile of her own crossing her face as she went back to eating her own food. She was still getting used to Luffy's...Luffyness.

Luffy stood up and left the table with a perky confirmation. "Good idea. I'll be back."

Then nearly without a trace, he was suddenly gone, which Nami seemed startled over. "Hey, where did he go?"

Medaka, after swallowing a spoonful of her pudding and pointing over to the staircase spiraling up the mast, simply said, "Where do you think?"

Nami looked over at the staircase and let out a tiny groan. "Oh no..."

Luffy barged into the room where the strongest scents of food came out from and unsurprisingly found himself in the kitchen of the restaurant. "Hey! Who's the one who cooked all the meat I just ate?"

Sanji looked up from his cooking station and belligerently asked, "Who wants to know?"

"I do," Luffy answered.

"I did. Why do you want to know?" Sanji demanded even as he glared pointedly towards Luffy.

"Oh, it's you - the weird awesome fighting cook! This is great. I'm Monkey D Luffy and I wanted to tell you it was the best food I've ever eaten. I want you to be the cook for my pirate crew." Luffy said, framing his request more like a demand.

"Hell no, you shitty straw hat! Why would I want to be a scruffy pirate like you slumming around the East Blue(even if there are lovely ladies on your crew)?"

"Well, we aren't staying here very long. We're going to the Grand Line soon and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates. I have the greatest ship, the greatest lookout, the greatest swordsman, the greatest apprentice, and the greatest navigator, so I've got to have the greatest cook - and that's you."

There was a beat of silence in the kitchen for a brief moment before all the other cooks began to bust their guts with hysterical laughter.

Ann sat on the spar beneath the crow's nest with Balloon and Dawn's big seagull lure for the company while she ate her admittedly tasty pasta. It zinged at her tongue and while she ate it seemed like the heat of the peppers in the sauce was literally melting away her last lingering touches of hunger. The fresh shrimp, mussels, and scallops must have been sourced from some untouched paradise with how sweet they seemed and the long, perfectly cooked linguine noodles were so well crafted she hardly needed to chew to eat them. The little rosemary loaf was sized perfectly for one person and it made for an excellent way to soak up and eat any lingering sauce that was left behind on the plate.

It truly deserved its title as the sous-chef special. "I can't believe something this delicious was only 500 beris. Were your tuna and peppers just as good, Balloon?"

Balloon grawked with his blissful agreement to Ann's question. The entire fish had been glazed in a sweet and tangy garlic-pepper-aioli sauce and the pickled pepper salad had been a perfect balance between sweet, spicy, and tart.

"Uh oh! My lure in Luffy's pocket just shorted out." Dawn said, sounding surprised, "That's odd. They usually last at least four hours without needing something to consume to make them stay powered up for longer."

"Will that be a problem?" Ann asked.

"No, it's just strange. I hope Luffy doesn't make a mess in their kitchen or we might need to stay longer for him to work off any damages. I lost the connection right when he left the table." Dawn explained. "I'll make another lure and send it in so I can know when everyone else is getting ready to leave."

They enjoyed having the rest of their lunch together, unaware that one of the Baratie customers had stepped out of the restaurant, intending to walk back to his boat, only to spot the joyfully preening Balloon up in the crow's nest of Dawn. Having enough sense not to just walk onto a pirate ship without any permission he immediately made a 180-degree turn and walked back into the restaurant - his red eyes glowing briefly in his excitement before fading back to normal again.

"'Ey Sanji! When you're done taking out the trash get over here and get these idiots you recruited to wash the dishes out of here too." Carne shouted out to Sanji, even as he was still laughing, which Sanji ignored as he manhandled the rude pirate kid in the straw hat outside to the balcony.

Instead of responding to what Carne said, he was instead in the middle of refusing Luffy's bizarre request. "Like hell will I go with you. Why would I want to sail off into a deathtrap with a bunch of scruffy low-ball pirates? I'll stay here at the Baratie until I die."

Luffy just smiled guilelessly at him and said, "Come on! Just be the cook on my crew! I know you'll like Dawn's kitchen more than this one - it's got plants in it."

Luffy's haggling skills weren't great, but he was very stubborn about getting what he wanted, so that evened things into his favor more often. Sanji was cool, he cooked good food, and Ann's reactions to him would be hilarious! He had to have Sanji as his cook, even if he had to stalk this restaurant until he agreed. It wouldn't be an exciting adventure but it would be an important one.

"Which one of those lovely ladies is Dawn?" Sanji asked, his heart and mind threatening to be flooded with fluffy, wistful thoughts of the two beauties on this scruffy pirate's crew.

"Dawn? She's my ship of course."

Luffy's voice, fortunately, shattered Sanji's blissful thoughts and he turned to scowl at Luffy again. "Why are you growing plants in the galley of your ship?"

"I don't grow the plants - Dawn does. I don't mind the food that she cooks but your cooking really is a lot tastier than hers is."

Sanji turned away from Luffy and took a long, drawn-out drag on his cigarette. So apparently Zeff hadn't been exaggerating when he said sanity was an optional perk when you were a pirate. Those poor ladies were trapped on a ship with a madman.

"Excuse me? Are you the pirates sailing the green ship with the pirate emblem that's wearing a hat?"

Zoro, Medaka, and Nami - who were still eating their food at a pace that was reasonable for most humans - looked up together over to where the man with the red eyes who had been drinking wine the entire time they had been in the restaurant was now standing in front of them.

"Yes. What do you want with us?" Zoro asked, becoming the spokesperson of the group before Nami had a chance to respond.

"My name is Vinno Margaux, there's a large bird that's nesting in the crow's nest of your ship. I'll pay you all 50,000,000 beris if you help me catch it."

Nami felt lightheaded. "F-fifty mil-?"

Before she could finish sputtering Zoro gruffly asked, "You mean Balloon? You can't have him, he's a part of the crew just like Ann."

"Oh come on Zoro - are you serious right now? That big pelican is worth more than if you all mutinied against Luffy to turn him in for his bounty ten times over! It's fifty million beris he's offering. Could you imagine what we could buy with that much money?" Nami was baffled at the absolute opposite-of-a-pirate mindset he was using.

It was Medaka, though, who scoffed and said, "Even if he offered a billion beris none of us would take his offer. Luffy would say you don't sell out your nakama, no matter what is offered."

"But he's a bird! You've got four of them - what makes him so special?" Nami demanded.

"I don't know, it's never come up," Zoro said, uncaringly. "But Balloon is Ann's friend and our nakama, even if he is only a bird. Just let it go, Nami before you go from being a thief to a slaver."

Nami flinched before scowling and nodded her head in agreement. "You're both right. I'm sorry - no selling out fellow crewmates. (Even if he is just a big pelican.)"

Seeing that the pirates had reached their decision Vinno tensed and with a very strained voice said, "You pirates don't seem to understand. I really... REALLY... need that bird. Nothing else will satisfy me. I'll pay you everything I have and that'll make my offer sixty million beris. I have it all on my ship, I swear to the sea."

Nami and Zoro shared a quick glance and came to the same realization at the same time.

It was Nami who coyly leaned over the table to look through her eyelashes at the red-eyed Vinno while Zoro casually held his hand a hair's breadth away from the hilts of his swords.

Nami then very deliberately said, "Once again, the price you're offering is (very) tempting I'll admit. But now that I think of it, anyone claiming to be carrying that much money with them seems to be a little too good to be true to me. If you're still hungry for something after sitting in this restaurant, you won't get a sale from this crew."

"Then you are refusing my generous offer? You must know that even though I greatly despise violence, since I am a practicing pacifist, I do have a very unpleasant method I can use to get what I want."

"Is it being annoying, because that's all you've been this whole time." Medaka snarked at him and scooped another bite of her pudding into her mouth.