Showdown
(Shadies back, back again, tell a friend, shadies back, back again.)
Did that sound too edgy?
I think to myself slightly scratching my head, oh what ever.
"stats"
Level:10 [Evolution in 5 levels]
Species: Low Gnoll (Werewolve Bloodline)
class:swordsman
stats:Agility:35 Strength:26Intelligience:26
<2 points in every stat per level>[+1 to agility every level ]
Inventory:Level 2. flaming bat spear.[blueprint]
Deer fur. lvl 4 shortsword. Fur clothing. Cloak of the Ronin [Masamune:soul bound] East dragon set.
skills:
#############
I only need 5 more levels and I cam evolve, I wonder what other options I would get besides gnoll, professional retard maybe? Who knows.
Oh, yeah, all these goblins are dead.
Eh.
....
....
.
Oh, thats actually pretty bad keke.
The little goblins cries in despair, I slap him across the face and look him in the eye.
"Stop wussing so much, ive seen tons of people die (total lie btw) And you have to get used to it, this dungeon is a goblin eat goblin world buddy."
The goblin wipes his tears and nods in agreement.
"Your right, so I should evolve finally!"
He says trying to muster some courage, so he was high enough level to evolve this whole time, I must warn him though.
"Evolve somewhere safe, it is insanely painful I warn you."
The goblino's expression immediately turns blank with a 'Are you fucking serious bro?' look, I look back at him beady eyed and waddle away up to the lemonade stand to ask for grapes
[20 minutes later.]
I looted all the goblin corpses of their money and various other resources, indeed the blood of ww1 era Austria-hungary flows through my veins eh? No not really? Im just talking to myself?
[Yep.]
FUCK OFF YOU WEE CUNT.
[Ironically you are not british]
The system replies snidely.
As I dust my clothes off an annoyingly loud shuddering comes out of nowhere, I go to check on the goblin to see if he is dying of a massive fucking seizure but instead find a army of 30 men lined up with spears sneering at me.
"We have him in the open boys, get that damn samurai."
The leader of the charge who is wearing roman centurion armor shouts a little propaganda speech.
Who would have guessed gutting a city famous adventurer would net me with some notoriety and trouble, bah, such a trivial mistake on I, the genuises, part.
I run as fast as gnollingly possible before running out of breath, I turn around and face the now distant village only to see 20 cavalry men on horseback pursuing me, the other 30 footsloldiers sweep the village again.
The centurion confronts me again.
"We know you speak some English, you monster, and we know you are leading a army of human hunters, WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM WRETCH?"
He throws down his glove in anger and leaps off his horse, he lands superhero style and draws his gladius.
"oi cunt, fuck off you renaissance fake ass wanker."
I reply in an obnoxious obviously fake accent.
"Oh, a british fucking monster, or wait thats a normal brit, bwuhahaha!"
The centurion replies laughing his ass off.
Enough play time.
[Ichimonji]
I burst forward and the centurions upper half goes flying with his large intestine still attached making his lower body do a few spins before detaching.
His helmet smacks a horse in the eye making the pony freak out and rush around rampantly, soldiers are bucked off and smashed as the crazed herd kills its own owners.
I eat a symbolic bag of popcorn while watching the massacre, the horses make dust fly as their armor smashes against each other, town guards are ping ponged around and smashed into a bloody pulp.
After about 15 minutes
The horses are all torn to hell and nothing remains from the mound of corpses and mashed paste.
I clap to myself before going down the hill to face the remaining knights.
As I go down the knights are tearing the village apart, all the houses are burning and the stone buildings are smashed to bits.
I hope little gobby didnt get 360 no scoped by a crossbow while trying to evolve.
All the knights begin taking notice of me standing their blankly.
"Hah, the cavalry must have put a slave contract on him and forced him to watch his little village burn bwuahahah!'
A fat greasy knight says, waving a torch around.
"Um, Im gonna kill you now."
I say with the same beady eyes and searing gaze.
"Commander must be paying a joke o--"
The fat mans head rolls and when it did I was half expecting velveeta cheese to spew out because of how greasy the guy was, but I can dream.
The other knights soon realize that I am here to murk them, not as a practical joke.
The knights run away and push the weaker peasant town guards as the meat shields of the formation, none of the knights have high levels or skills because to become strong in this world one must dedicate their training to inside this dungeon which I call the bouncy house of fun, and these guys train on dummies and have absorbed almost no exp, I almost pity them
I rush forward and spin in circles holding my sword out, letting my momentum and weight reap the town guards.
I stop and stand in a mound of light armored smelly peasants, I am covered in 'ketchup' and the 10 remaining knights tremble in fear.
I need to move quickly to stay away from that lich and Minotaur, I have no time to 'play' with these humans who have commited atrocities, unfortunately they will have to meet a quick end.
I burst forth infront of an ironclad warrior.
"Prepare to meet Jesus."
I scream at him at the top of my lungs.
"WHO THE FUCK IS JES-"
And then before his statement is complete he is turned into a seperate being, his little brother will forever be separated from the other half of its body.
I wipe my sword clean and smile maniacally at the last soldiers.
I swear I can hear a simultaneous gulp and before they know it a flash of movement kills their brothers one by one.
The last knight runs away as fast as a grease ball can but trips on a foot.
not my foot.
wait.
NOT MY FOOT?
I look to see a cloaked and robed figure stranding above the knight.
The figure kicks him in the balls mulitple times screaming.
"THIS IS FOR EVERYONE!"