Birthday Preparations

...

Haruhi's birthday is tomorrow and I need to buy some decorations. It'd be pointless to try and hide it from her because her perception levels are much higher than that of a kid.

Mainly because she's an assassin.

"Haruhi! I'm going out! Take care of the house for me!"

"Yes, Papa!"

An angelic voice resonated inside the room. I'd say that's 'hella cute' but you probably had too much of that in the previous chapter.

But damn is she hella cu-

***

I found myself in Central mall looking for party decorations when I realized...

"I don't know anything about girl's birthday parties!"

I facepalmed myself in despair and almost broke down crying when I heard a pair of rubber shoes making squeaky noises approach me.

"Uwa... It's the pervert guy."

The silver haired girl muttered under her breath.

"Hey, first of all. I didn't say anything about 'that' thing. You assumed it and embarrassed yourself, Lolicon."

"I'm not a lolicon!"

She retorted. She's still wearing the same old track suit, but this time it's a different color. The previous one was a green track suit, this time it's a red one.

"Hey, are track suits your uniform?"

"Huh?"

She cocked her head to the side which her dog comically followed.

Wait, what?

Her dog?

I gazed at the dog's mesmerizing eyes and wondered...

Why the hell is a dog inside a mall? I vividly remember seeing a "no pets" inside sign.

And everyone's turning a blind eye? Nobody's going to say something?

"Hey, what do you mean my uniform?"

She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.

"I only see you in track suits, do you have other outfits or are you the type of person to wear the same thing over and over again?"

She looked at me with a gaping mouth and her right hand over it.

"W-what?! How dare you, Kuro. I'm a woman too and I have different outfits!"

"Like what?"

I grinned.

"Like..."

She scratched her head trying to recover information from her wardrobe.

"A green tracksuit, a red one, probably even a blue one."

I finished her sentence for her.

"Oh, you're the worst."

She frowned.

***

"Anyway, Yume. I need help with something."

"And why should I help you?"

She still has her hands crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

"Because it's about Haruhi, her birthday's coming up, remember?"

Her face cheeks turned red.

"... You're thinking about lewd things are you?"

I added, seeing her reaction.

"N-N-No! It's just that the gift would be nine months late!"

She covered her already fuming face with her hands.

"... Yume, I'm talking about preparations."

"P-P-Preparations?! I'm as prepared as someone can get!"

She puffed her chest with failed confidence.

This girl is done for.

After asking her to sit for a while and calm her down, she eventually understood how much of a misunderstanding she had created all in her head.

"Look, I have no plans of having any kids anytime soon, got it?"

"But you have one."

She looked at me with skepticism.

"Yeah, an adopted one."

I sighed.

"Still a kid, though."

"Look, she's old enough to look out for herself."

"I'm also old enough to look for myself! Why'd you pass on such a beauty and nice body as me?!"

"Yume... Get help."

I rubbed my forehead in despair.

***

After calming her down for the second time and explaining how that's unrelated to the problem at hand, she eventually dropped it and moved on.

Together, we managed to locate a shop that specializes on party decorations and anything party in general.

The store clerk greeted us with wide smiles and a heart warming atmosphere.

"Oh my! A young couple has blessed us with their presence today!"

"A young couple?! Wow!"

All five staff members suddenly emerged out of nowhere and started clapping.

"What the hell are they clapping for?"

I whispered to Yume, who's already turning into some kind of a steam pot with how much she turns red today.

"Never mind, don't answer."

I shifted my attention to the staff and asked one of them for help.

"I need some decorations for a birthday party."

"Oh, who's birthday party?"

The staff member walked towards the decorations part of the store and I followed suit.

"My daughter's"

The staff member gasped as she looked back at us once more with an exaggerated face of surprise.

Ah shit, here we go again.

"Your's and Her's? Wow! The youth of today is really energetic!"

She slapped my arm hard I thought it'd snap into two. I just laughed and stopped retorting. My energy can't handle it.

Not just that, there's still one thing I couldn't retort on.

I stared at the dog that's been following us all this time. The dog stared back at me, smiled and then began to pant.

This guy is just a big joke waiting to unravel herself, right?

***

After going through that hell with an overheating mess of a person, we finally got everything we need.

"Had lunch yet?"

I offered. Compensation for coming with me even though all she did is blush and overheat.

She stared daggers at me, obviously wary of my intentions.

"... Kuro, you're actually smooth. If you weren't such a lolicon, you'd be popular with the girls."

"Yume, if you weren't a girl, I would've thrown you to the central park lake now."

"I'm sorry, I'm just kidding."

She looked down and held her growling stomach.

"Figured."

I transferred the shopping bags that were on my left hand to my right and grabbed her hand.

"Let's go."

I lead her to a nearby restaurant inside the mall to grab a bite. We didn't stay long and we just talked about random things when we were there. Basically, we just ate and left the place.

"Oh, tell me your number."

I reached for my phone in my pocket.

"Hold on."

She did the same and we shook our phones at the same time.

A notification popped up "Saved Yumehara Yume's number!"

"Yumehara Yume, huh."

She propped up, body stiff as steel.

"Y-y-yes?"

I looked over to her, confused.

"H-huh?"

"N-Nothing.."

She looked down with a long face.

"O-Okayyy.."

I don't know what just happened. But anyway, it's time to go.

"Shall we?"

I motioned to the mall's exit.

"Oh, sure."

***

The moment we stepped out of the exit, a guard came over.

"Ma'am! I'm sorry but pets are not allowed."

...

Tell that to her when she goes IN not when she goes OUT!

"Oh, she's not a pet."

Yume answered.

"Oh. I'm sorry! Please have a good day!"

The guard went back to his post.

"Wait, she's not a pet?"

Curiosity got over me.

"Yeah. She's my companion."

"Isn't that the same?"

"Not when you're a beast tamer."

... Huh?

"Beast tamer, like the ones that tames beasts?!"

"... That explanation is so accurate yet it sounds so dumb."

Beast tamers evolved from hunters who used companion animals (Wolves, Hawks, etc.) for hunting. They're one of the rarer types of people today and I couldn't believe that this lolicon pervert woman is one of them.

"I am a beast tamer! I even have a license!"

She pulled her wallet out and showed me the license she's talking about. Wow, I didn't even know beast taming had licenses.

"What has come to the world? If a pervert like you can be a beast tamer, anyone can."

"HEY!"