187 - Journey of the End 5

***(Lilith)

Prying my eyelids open, an endless white space filled the horizon. A familiar sight. It was as if it's the third time I've been here.

"Looks like you've lost. Couldn't you at least uphold your promise until you met me?" (?) Once again, a familiar thing, a voice entered my ear drums. It spoke in an androgynous manner, making the tone convoluted and hard to discern the gender of the speaker. Though at this point I've already identified the individual, who else could be behind this.

"Ughh.. Who are you... Nevermind, I think I know... Why am I here?"

"I want you to look over there before you vanish. Your existence has been erased after all, it was a miracle that you could arrive here..." (Zet)

As the greyish white figure pointed his index finger in a particular direction, a woman could be seen in the distance. She was not particularly restrained or in any danger, however she slept on and on as if she couldn't wake and interfere. She had looked like Emily, though it was if she had grown into an adult and wore a rather odd outfit. A sleeveless white blouse covered her torso, attached to cloth that wrapped around the hind section of her arm before splitting into 3 directions, they wavered and bobbed in the air as if wind flowed upwards in this obscure dimension.

Her dress had an opening on the left side, connected by a shorter underlayer of cloth that wrapped around her behind. Large pieces of metal were attached to her hips, they glint with a sheen as if they were brand new and had acted like 2 large armour plates attached together to form a make shift weapon. They layed at her sides, protecting her from any possible danger with a divine-like glow.

[Externals Amelia]... She's been here the whole time...

"Hmm?? Are you starting to remember?? "(Zet)

Ignoring the fact that Zet had read her mind, she proceeded back into the spiral of her own thoughts. Countless information flowed in at once, though the overload didn't hurt her as a brain was not present. She was formless, Colourless, miraculously existing as information in open space. Information didn't usually have a conscious, it didn't usually have the ability to communicate or think, it was just that, information.

"[Will of the world]... By harnessing your power, I could raise my concentration to the maximum in power, it eventually reached a state beyond humans... And preserved my existence as the floating memories of Emily..."

"You've missed a great detail. All those skills that were meant to take power from me, [Demonic energy], [will of the world] [Divine crystal constitution]... They weren't taking power from me at all. It was trivially easy to apply my skill and disable the contact. In fact I was taking power from you, who was actually taking it from Amelia, causing you to lose the fight with her uselessness. Well... I was the one who made her useless anyway, so it can't be blamed. I should blow out your existence now... "(Zet) The grey silhouette lifted his arm, palm open facing my direction.

".... [Externalis Amelia], get us back, back to Ilnoa. "

" Roger... "(Amelia) Her eyelashes flipped up, revealing 2 striking pearls of black. Her hair was completely white, leaning a little towards gold, creating a mellow platinum hue. Her magic power enveloped us at once, tearing a hole into the fabric of reality, causing us to fall back down. The order had been for her to not move until I returned, so a "signal" had to be made to show that I had come back. Quite a literal signal had been used instead, speaking her name had awoken her up.

Accessing my... Emily's memories, I could somewhat deduce how I arrived here. Though my body had been undoubtedly Lilith, my conscious and memories were always considered that of Emily's, therefore the existence erasure had sent my conscious back to Emily's memories which were residing formlessly at Zet's place with [Will of the world]. He had sealed Emily's memories from her reicarnated self, me, to undermine and cause the next life to be less smooth and more tumultuous.

My identity was incredibly vague, even I myself had lost whether I was myself or not. Was it the body or the memories that was the person? If so, what was the difference? If memories shaped the person and their personality... What makes me... Me, when I merged with Emily's memories. Was I Emily? Or was I Lilith. Would I be the same as before... Considering I was her reincarnation... Or was I an entirely seperate being. The same soul, tempered and manipulated, going through completely different experiences, was I really the same person now?

I was utterly rushed by the instinct to survive, to escape that I only have it any thought after I arrived here... I... My existence has lost meaning, without my body or Cress, I didn't have much to live for anyway... Still, it left an incredible bad taste... Getting amelia to teleport myself back to the battle field, a surreal scene filled the barren landscape. Due to our battle, a mere stepping jump and a few exchanges erased a large area, decimating the surrounding parts of the demon kingdom. It was hence, easier to find the demon lord... Impaled by the multiple Emily copies still roaming around from [Demonic energy] .

However, even if I'm not sure who I myself was, I still had individuals I cared for. Fez... Cress, they were the same person, I just hadn't noticed. Or maybe I didn't want to notice. As Lilith I was utterly lacking the will to be selfish... To serve myself... To love myself more... When Emily was the complete opposite who only fought for herself, losing everything. This turned into a rather dangerous dependence on others, and a lack of having self importance at the same time. I only had the will to keep fighting... Even fighting for myself sometimes... Due to the fact the Cress was still there at the end of the day. What now? Now that my motivation was gone. One had gone through all hell to fight for herself and lost, one had fought for others, to look for a goal, and lost. Which was the right option? Which one held more meaning?

'WHICH ONE AM I??'

"... Master... I'm sure you remember everything now. Even if the world was cruel and everyone was shaped by their surroundings, the blame still lay with the individual instead of their surroundings, why? It was because it was easier. There isn't much meaning in everything, though there's no credibility if you look the same from my point of view... I think you should choose what you think is right... And keep going without looking back. "(Amelia)

"... Nee Amelia, I'm your master right... Surely you would know which one I was... "

" I was created from the sacrifices of countless amount of you's from other parallel universes. Does that mean I regret being born? It doesn't mean anything to me. My personality was based off of you, and I really don't care to mince my words. Whichever you are, you're my master now and I couldn't care less, so pick already you loser... You've finally gain my power, you can obliterate your enemies and even fight on even ground with Zet now. You've obtained the power of a god now, you can abuse it as you wish. None of it mattered. "(Amelia)

"... Tch, I'll deal with you later. Fuse me to a copy first. So I have an actual body. "

Blacking out, I once again woke up with a shaking purple fist inside a pale version of Emily. It was the demon lord.

"... It's... Not over yet... Stop lying around... And fight me..."