Hay-wired Mind

"I am sorry." Blake couldn't stop himself from frowning when he heard his best friend apologizing to him.

"What are you apologizing for, dude?" He spoke into his phone's speaker as he questioned Adam. He couldn't recall him doing anything for which he owed him an apology.

"I should be the one taking care of things back at the base." Adam replied to him in a sorrowful tone. It was his responsibility to look after the underworld as it belonged to his family in the first place. But here he was, taking care of his father's business empire while Blake was the one to shoulder half of his responsibilities.

"Stop with the apologizing, dude. It's not your fault to begin with. It was something which was decided by our fathers. I appreciate your concern, but you have much more important things to do at the time." Blake shook his head helplessly.

Whatever he had said to Adam was the truth. After all, he was supposed to bear the responsibility of running an entire business empire at the mere age of twenty. The least he could do for his best friend was to take care of the underworld business just like his father did.

Moreover, he didn't mind doing it. It was much more relaxing than an actual job. Most of his time was spent in overlooking matters which could lead to problems for their cartel in the far future. He only had to deal with things which posed an immediate threat to him and his people.

"And you know how important it is for us to have a strong financial backing. The more prosperous Levinson's Corp. becomes, the more strong holding we will have in the underworld markets of Europe." He continued when he didn't hear a response from him.

"I know, I just feel bad about it all. I know you wanted to pursue your passion. You wanted to become a singer, but you cannot be a public figure and run the business." He heard Adam's reply and his lips curled up in a sad smile.

"It was just singing, man. I can still sing for you." Blake spoke up. Despite trying his best to hide his emotions, the sad undertone of his voice gave his thoughts away.

It wasn't a secret from his best friend and family. They knew how much he enjoyed singing, and that he wanted to pursue it as a career. But the circumstances didn't let him. It wasn't about how much free time he could spare for practicing, but rather he couldn't be a public figure with the things he had to look out for.

"And how could you forget that I was trained for this." He spoke up to get a low hum in response.

His fingers were taught to adapt around a gun's trigger the very day he learnt how to grip a pen properly. The day he graduated from junior high school, he hit his first bulls-eye. He had spent his entire childhood being trained for the job. He was raised to be the substitute of his own father when the day would come. And no other person could be blamed for it beside his father. He made those decisions for him.

Singing was something he picked up on the way as it helped him to release his pent up frustrations. It helped him in calming his hay-wired emotions, so that he could make his mind work on the right track. It had already been months since he last sang. After his father's death, he barely got any time to focus on himself.

"How are you holding up?" He spoke into his phone's speaker.

"Same as you do, I believe." Adam answered him. His response was enough for Blake to let out a chuckle. Adam was the only person who could actually understand what he was going through at the moment for they seemed to share the same fate.

"I agree with you, but you are the one whose father has just died, not me." Blake added in a pitiful tone. It had only been a little over a month since he got the news about Paul's Levinson, Adam's father, demise. The news not only affected him, but Blake too. The man was like a father figure to him.

"I know, but we have to move on at some point in our lives. We cannot keep on mourning the loss of our loved ones forever. They are not supposed to be the reason behind our pain. They deserve much better than that." Adam's voice knocked at the entrance of his ear. He couldn't help but nod his head at his words.

It wasn't the first time in his life that he was hearing those words. He had heard them on multiple occasions by either his own father or Adam's. They always used to tell them how the people who were no longer a part of their lives anymore should only be remembered by their good deeds. Instead of crying and mourning for their loss, it was better to celebrate what they did in their lives.

Both of them were doing the same thing as they were taught. Blake was looking after the underworld business for his father, while Adam was busy taking care of the business empire his father had left him. If it was just their lives, they might have taken a break and mourned their fathers properly. But there were so many lives they were responsible for that they weren't given any other choice except for continuing on with it.

"How's Katherine doing by the way?" Adam spoke up to change the topic to something lighter.

"Oh! She's doing just fine. She is close to finishing off her degree, and she is super excited about starting her own fashion line." Blake let out a chuckle and answered him. "I miss having her around and causing a ruckus around the house. She was the only reason I got to escape this creepy place every now and then." He added. It had been months since he last saw his twin sister.

"It's good to know that she is doing better now. You should take care of yourself too. I have to deal with some investors now, so I will let you get back to whatever you were doing." Adam added from the other side to which Blake nodded before retracting his cell phone away from his ear. And without saying any pleasantries, they cut off the call at the same time.

Heaving out a frustrated sigh, Blake put down the phone before getting back to his laptop. His finger moved over the touch-pad as he scrolled down the list of his favorite songs and melodies. With a tap, he chose one and put it on repeat before leaning back in his chair. A soft, relaxing tone filled the room as he closed his and began to relax his hay-wired mind.