Defying Instruction

        Returning home seemed simple at first glance, little did Anzu know it would be one of the busiest times of her life. Upon arrival, Anzu stayed her last three nights in Bakugou's dorm. Unfortunately for her, the new dorm she was given brought up some bad memories. Every wall, including the closets and window shades were white. The matress was white, the sheets were white, everything. She took many things from the dorm with color that wouldn't be missed, such as old shirts, books, pillows, but no matter how much odd color she put in it, the white still caved in. Suffocating, just like always. It took her a couple nights to get used to it, resulting in more sleep loss. Overall, she was at least happy to be out of Bakugou's way. It did bother her that she saw him less, but it couldn't be helped. She ignored the fact that going to bed felt a little colder now. No entertainment, just white and complete solitude. She shut all the thoughts out of her brain, tried not to think of it. Another problem at hand was she was making no income. She was nearly down to the bone with soap and had no money for an alarm clock. Before the school year started up again, she made a resolve to bring it up to Aizawa. As guilty as she felt.

        "An outfit?" Anzu asked, scoffing at the odd statement. She didn't crawl her way out of a white hell hole to put on a colorful costume and jump around. Aizawa stared at her coldly, his patience diminishing quickly. 

        "It doesn't have to be exciting. Hell it doesn't even have to look cool, it just has to help the function of your quirk and hide you're identity somewhat." He grumbled, pulling references up online. She knew this was going to be a big part of being a hero. But something about it kept her awake at night. She hated the fact that she was committing to her permanent name. An outfit people would recognize her for, see in news articles, among other things. Aizawa handed her a registration form. How was she going to pick a name of all things? There wasn't anything catchy that related to nerves. She could go with the cliche eye, but that wouldn't leave an impression. Everyone's names were so unique. If someone called out Ground Zero out on the street, she'd wonder what they meant. The worst part of it all was she had no one to talk about it to. She had to make all the quirk adaptations herself, seeing as it was still a secret. Anzu respected Aizawa more than anyone could know, but the silence was beginning to feel crushing. Especially when someone she cares about is beginning to doubt her devotion. She had been thinking about it for several days. Building up her confidence for this one question. She had to ask, she truly wanted it. She couldn't do this by herself anymore. Doing this was holding her back. Anzu straightened her back and held her chin high. 

        "Aizawa!" She said, a little too forcefully. "I have a request to make! And I know what you're answer will be but I thought I'd try anyway." He nodded to her and she took a deep breath. "Sir, I've learned first hand that doing everything by yourself is irrational. Especially when it comes to event's that could effect the rest of your life. So... that being said I wanted to ask for you to allow me one confidant." She finished, finally meeting his glare. It did't take him one second to think.

        "Absolutely not." With those simple words, she could feel her confidence dying as quickly as it came. She had gone too far this time, it was evident in the finality of his voice.         

        "Could I ask you to reconsider?" She asked but knew it was no use. She was wasting his time. "You are okay with the fact that more villains know about my quirk than allies? What does that say about the school's communication?" Anzu stated, practically spitting in the grave she was digging. 

        "Need I remind you whose fault the incident was? We already have a league of people that know. I don't think one more is necessary." It was final. The tone of voice, the look in his eyes, it wasn't happening. Anzu saved her sigh in her lungs, refusing to leave. She excused herself hoarsely, hoping he didn't see her obvious disappointment. Her admiration for him slid a bit. She disliked the fact he blamed her entirely for the villain attack. Yes it was her fault, but to use the guilt against her was... uncalled for. Then again perhaps she was just being childish. As she walked out she felt a scratch in her throat. She hadn't felt it for years. She couldn't decide if Aizawa being angry with her or the fact she had to face her training utterly alone was more terrifying. She wanted to go home and bury her face in her comforter. And then there was the costume application. And her name. Her head buzzed with the hundreds of things it seemed she had to do. She didn't know how susceptible she was to stress until she encountered it. 

        Anzu arrived in front of Bakugou's dorm. It was time to train. She honestly wasn't in the mood to train with anyone today, but last time she skipped Bakugou nearly tore out her throat. When she knocked on the door, she heard a muffled yell from inside, but couldn't make it out. Seconds later Bakugou showed up, leaning in the doorway. He had on the same old black tank top and black sweatpants. She wan't even surprised anymore, it was like he had one outfit he wore every day.

        "C'mon. Let's get there before it's crowded." He said, walking past her. She saw the old room. She thought about the smell, and the way it looked at night. The way the moonlight pored in from the little crack in the drapes. She could see the carpet under it, everything dark and rich with color. And she still remembered the comforting feeling of having someone else in the room. Knowing that if anything happened she wouldn't be alone. All her thoughts slammed shut with the closing of the door. 

        "Are you coming, or are you just gonna stare at the wall like an air head?" He said, a fake agitation in his voice. One thing she always knew about Bakugou was when his feelings were genuine or faked. To her disappointment, most of them were fake. So much so, that she wondered if he ever thought about how much he lied about is personality. If you thought of it that way he lied just as much as her. She put the thought away though, focusing instead on the road ahead of them. 

        "Hey Bakugou... How'd you design you're outfit?" Anzu questioned, staring at the leaves falling. The end of autumn was drawing close. Everything would freeze over soon, leaving the world silver. She proffered that word better.

                "I dunno. Guess I wanted something to stabilize my arms from explosions. The people that make the suits do the rest." He answered, looking down at her. "You finally getting a suit?" 

                "Yeah... I just have no idea what I want it to look like." She said, staring up at him, imagining his costume. It was too flashy for someone like her. It would be hard to sneak around in. She also didn't want too much skin showing. The less noticeable she was, the better. Bakugou looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. 

At the training facility;

                "You're off today." Bakugou mocked, digging his fist into his shoulder. She hadn't landed a single blow on him the entire hour long fight. Anzu push him off with her knees, springing back up and shaking it off. She had to focus. It was like she had been living with a magnifying glass in her eye her whole life, and now that someone removed it everything together was just too much. Every little thing she saw caught her attention. She couldn't even focus on what they were trying to do. Bakugou jumped around her, attempting to catch her off guard. She stepped back, and was seconds away from hitting him, but he dodged just in time, kneeing her in the chin. She stumbled back and cracked her jaw. That was less than pleasant. 

                "And you're slow. If you can't train today don't waste my time." Bakugou snapped open a water bottle and downed it. Anzu could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Everything that came out of his mouth was annoying her. 

                "I'm. Fine." She growled defiantly. She strutted back onto the floor, looking and acting like confidence was spilling out of her. She had been doing better than usual lately. I'll be damned if I lose everything now. Anzu braced herself, tightening the white strip wraps around her hands. She would land a blow this time. She was going to. She knew it, she could feel it. Bakugou stepped back on, grinning fiercely at her new found confidence. She silently wondered if it was because he wanted to knock it down. Anzu made the first move this time, dipping down and attempting to swipe him off his feet. He jumped in time, but stumbled backwards, just enough that Anzu could kick her heel up. She narrowly missed his jaw. He let out a deep growl from his throat and caught her foot. He pulled her towards him, but she twisted her leg, forcing it out of his grip. Anzu then stood up, panting at him angrily. She just needed one blow. To land one shot. Anzu pushed herself towards him in agitation. She then realized she had no plan. She dipped down aiming a blow to his chest, but he dodged easily catching her arm and pulling her balance off. She whipped around just in time to see the perfect opening. His shoulder was wide open. She reached out, stretching for it. Then caught it. Anzu used it to propel herself at him. A small smile crossed onto her lips as everything clicked and she knew she would hit her target. And then it was gone. Anzu widened her eyes as if in slow motion. It was right there... she was so close. He was right there. She really was off on her speed today. She could feel a tightness around her arms, as Bakugou clumsily dragged her into a bear hug. She tried desperately to escape but once his arms were locked there was no escaping. He had picked her up off of her feet like a kitten. She squirmed under his grasp trying to get loose. She couldn't lose, not now! Bakugou struggled with her until he got frustrated. 

                "Hey! Stop squirming. I win. Were done here." He growled, tightening his grip. Anzu just struggled more. Now she was angry too.                 

                "I'm not done! I still wan't to fight! Let me go!" She hissed, but grew limp immediately as his grip began to knock the air out of her. The color in her face died and left her fuming but less violent. He dropped her smack on the floor, stepping out of the way. She sucked in the air he had been squeezing out of her. "Damn... it" She said between breaths. This was embarrassing. 

                "Whatever's going on with you, you need to figure it out. I don't want to waste anymore time. Whats got you so pissed anyway?" He asked, offering a hand to help her up. She let him yank her up, and dusted herself off. 

                "Nothing." She walked to the locker room, wiping the sweat from her forehead. The truth was that she didn't even know. She felt like she wanted something that was so close... but there was something standing in her way. Deep down, in the back of her mind she knew. But she refused to believe it, convinced it was something else. She was feeling a bit sick of being angry and bitter all the time. And she was sick off all the weights. She couldn't resolve the issues at the moment, but she could at least fix her attitude. With a deep breath and a sip of water, she waited outside for Bakugou to finish. He was taking a bit longer than usual, but she didn't think much of it. 

               Walking home seemed slightly awkward. She didn't entirely know what to say. Was he mad at her? Maybe she should apologize.

                "Hey... I'm sorry for the way I acted at the end... I kinda got sloppy I guess..." She said, smiling in his general vicinity. He shifted his glance towards her, his hair flicking with the movement. 

                "It's fine." He mumbled, staring at her for a little too long. So long in fact that it began to make her uncomfortable. Either it wasn't fine or there was something else he wanted to say. "How are you going to create a costume and name if all of your info. is confidential?" Bakugou came to a surprising halt. Anzu didn't know why he stopped, but there was something behind the hundreds of layers. She couldn't see it but she knew it was there. He definitely had something to say. 

                "I have to do everything by myself I guess... Is there something else you wanted to ask?" She prompted, hoping she could dig it out. This was the first time she had seen him be this way. She couldn't tell if he was angry or concerned. Frustrated? Agh... he's so complicated when he's serious! She thought, puffing out a breath and moving the piece of bang that had fallen in her eye. 

                "No." He lied, continuing to walk again. He was purposefully lying badly, he wanted her to force his hand. 

                "That doesn't convince me." Anzu stopped instead this time. She was genuinely curious about what the spiky blonde had in mind. Bakugou contemplated in his mind a bit, a pout crossing over his expression. He really was terrible at conveying his emotions. He seemed to be running it over and over in his mind, she could practically see the gears turning. 

                "I would... help you with the outfit and name... because you have no experience with that stuff and would probably wind up injuring yourself. But I don't know your quirk. And it's really starting to piss me off." He scratched the back of his head. After saying something that normal, he tried to compensate for looking weak and flared up again. Like a waiting kettle boiling over. "If your quirk is such a damn secret you shouldn't be here anyway! In about three years of being a hero, every villain and hero is going to know what your quirk does!" He steamed, glaring at her with fake anger, a little bit of sincerity mixed into the heap of what he was trying to say. He couldn't have picked a worse topic. The thing that was in the back of her mind, the thing messing her up all day? Her conversation with Aizawa. She just wanted to tell Bakugou. She truly did trust him. In fact she thought highly of him. And she was looking forward to the day he could see her as equal. But with Aizawa's rule that could never happen. A deep breath. What would she even say? She wanted it so badly. Yearning to just let him know. Anzu fought in her head. She couldn't possible go against Aizawa's decision, that was ridiculous. But what if he was wrong? Would Bakugou judge her... I mean what could go wrong? Why did it need to be a secret? What was the reason? Who could it hurt? She wrestled with the thoughts, fogging up her mind, snapping her back to reality with Bakugou's loud snap. She couldn't think of a single way for it to backfire. Maybe she was being childish again, going against her superior's orders. But none the less she had made up her mind. 

        "Wake up." He said looking at her like she was crazy. The snap was what she needed. She searched in his crimson eyes for a reason. A reason to stop herself, anything. But his eyes were the ones she trusted most right now. She took a deep, shaky breath. She spread a confidant smile across her lips, converting the fake confidence into resolve. Maybe... just this once... Aizawa was wrong. She stared up at him, the ice blue in her eye growing bright again. 

"Bakugou. I have something to tell you."