Ch.21

With a bang, I crash landed on something hard and alive. I got up and saw a pissed off Hell Goddess named Glory that I recognized. Seeing that I'd fallen on her when she'd tried to take Dawn who was alive of however terrified, I saw the army of dumbasses and the hell goddess punched me in the face. I didn't even flinch while a loud bang rang out.

The hell bitch growled. "What are you?"

I frowned. "Disappointed."

I punched her and she flew back thirty feet and slid into a crater. I turned to the humans. "Piss off or die here. I've no interest in mortals unless they can kill me."

Glory got up in my face again and punched me only to get a backhand into the distantly trashed RV that exploded. The scoobies came out, the human knights tried to stab Dawn only for their blades to break against my skin. I told them this was their last warning and the next time I spoke it would be over their corpses. Their leader said the key must die and he lost his head from Glory who said no one was touching her key.

She turned to the rest. "Least of all some pissants like you."

I uppercutted her orbital high with all my strength before turning to the knights and they fled fast, gathering their horses. I turned to Dawn, Buffy who wearily pulled her behind herself and the scoobies. "Anyone have a bottle Asgardian ale?"

They shook their heads and I looked up growling. "Would it have been too much trouble to punch me to a reality with a decent bar? Fucking useless assholes!"

I grunted and went to the car, hot wiring it before getting ready to leave. Seeing it was their only ride, Buffy and the rest asked for a ride back to town. I looked to them before looking to Spike. "Stuff the vampire in the trunk and get in. The dumb blonde with a bad attitude will fall back from orbit in a few minutes and I don't feel like fighting her since she can't kill me. Useless gods everywhere."

They got in and Spike complained until I pointed to the RV telling him he could try and repair that before the blonde returns. Buffy asked if I was a god as well and I shook my head. "No, human mostly. I'm just not from your reality."

I asked for directions to wherever town was and we took off after they crammed inside. We ended up back at Buffy's place where I drank some of the last remnants of the Asgardian casks I had with me. There was nowhere on this planet to refill any form of liquor for immortals it seems. I got tipsy and they nervously asked where I came from.

I held up a finger and pointed up. "I pissed off a solar system sized fundamental being trying to get him to kill me. He punched me so hard I passed the speed of light, broke half a dozen planets and blew up a blue super giant, wiping out a solar system. The solar energy tore a hole in reality from the time-space laws, rending a hole into the void between realities. I thought I'd die there but for whatever reason this reality's barrier was thin as I flew by the antimatter and it busted a hole in your reality long enough for my body to fall through on that mortal bound god friend of yours."

They were dumbfounded by my explanation and I grunted, downing another cask before setting it aside. Dawn asked what I was drinking and I grunted. "Asgardian ale aged ten thousand years in the wreckage of a famous fleet or other. I didn't really pay attention when my son gave it to me. That brat Odin knew how to age liquor at least."

They were so stumped I grunted. "Yeah, this is taking too and you're ruining my buzz so here-"

I tossed out a hologram disk saying my daughter gave it to me saying it may help whoever I meet if those that I sought out couldn't kill me. A hologram of Krista appeared and Xander called her hot. I growled. "That's my daughter you're talking about boy. She's married and older than your ancestors by now. Stubborn and kind like her mother. Damn I'm not drunk enough to see this."

I got up as Krista began to explain things from our reality starting with my age and down through the years. I went through the fridge not finding any beers so I headed out, finding the vampire outside smoking with a bottle of whiskey. He offered it saying thanks for the save. I shrugged. "I just landed on her. Wasn't my choice and I wasn't looking for a fight with how weak she is."

I downed half the bottle and grunted saying it would take something a lot stronger and magical to get me to where I'm trying to go. He asked if I was looking to stay because they could use my help about now if I can take on the big bad so easily. I quirked an eyebrow and he shrugged. "Bint made finger paint of my insides last time we tussled. I'd like to see someone do the same to her is all."

I shrugged. "I'm looking to die, not fight other people's battles for them."

He grunted. "Tell you what, you protect the lass and her big sis and after all this is over I'll help you find a way to die, scouts honor."

I gave him a glare before shaking my head. "I know better than to trust demons. Even my reality had them and they were useless to me. I destroyed half of hell and Satan himself said he couldn't kill me die permanently. A vampire like you can't help me."

I finished off the whiskey and passed him a small cask. "Doesn't mean we can't get drunk together though."

He tried it and was hammered with a sip. I finished it and watched him bitch about things until Buffy told him to go home because he was drunk. I leaned against the porch post and Buffy said I came from a comic book reality. I snorted lightly. "If I do then so do you. This one wasn't that far apart from my own in the void. Though I guess that's all relative seeing as we're no doubt the entertainment of whatever gods run this reality."

She sighed. "So you want to die because why? I mean, I get it, your entire family, friends all except three kids are dead, but you still had them and your grandchildren."

I scowled before sobering up. "You know nothing girl. I'm staring down the barrel of eternity alone. My daughter Krista had days before she died just before I left. My son Osborn was killed by a radioactive bomb hours later that went off by terrorists. Kratos, my eldest, had maybe six years left to live and he wanted nothing to do with me because I'd asked him to rule Asgard and protect the others when I didn't have the stomach for it anymore. He wanted me dead so I chose to make his last wish come true and piss off someone I thought could destroy me. Jokes on me. The planet eater couldn't stomach me and spit me back out before refusing to eat and destroy me down to nothing."

She flinched and I grunted as I stood up. "I was a warrior, a sorcerer, a leader and an old king. I don't do well alone. Having spent more than two million years that way, I just wanted it over. You mortals can't comprehend eternity and the curse that it is to watch all you love die or live long enough to hate you. I wish to the gods I'd never made myself this way."

She asked pointedly. "Why did you?"

I clenched my fist. "I had something to protect, something worth everything to me and now I have nothing. All I want, I can't have. This weak reality has nothing for me. No one that can kill me and nothing worth staying for now that I think about it."

Buffy asked hurriedly. "What if it did? Have something to stay for I mean."

I hesitated and looking to her fully. "What is it you're talking about and I swear if you say love I'll open the portal I feel this town sitting on."

She shook her head. "No, power. There's magic here and it's different from your reality's. With gods apparently being a thing the odds are good there's something here that can give you what your looking for and I just happen to have two super witches and a watcher/librarian who can help you look. You stay and help us and I'll have them look into your problem."

I looked into her eyes and nodded slowly when I smelled she wasn't lying. "Alright, but the moment I find it or that there isn't something I'm gone."

She held out her hand and we shook on it before telling me to come inside and sleep in the spare room if I need it since her mother wouldn't need it. I felt and heard the pain in those words before hugging her awkwardly. I told her in a sigh that I knew that pain well and more so I knew there was nothing I could say or do to make it go away, but my lovers always said a hug went a long way. She hugged me back until the sun rose up.

We broke apart and I ignored the tears from her crying on my shirt. Xander asked if I was in and Buffy told them my condition. Xander asked what Spider-Man was like and I rolled my eyes, walking up the stairs and making use of the shower. When I came out I heard a loud bang and found a chunk of the house ripped off by a royally pissed off hell goddess.

She called Buffy a slay runt and went for her only to end up portaled in front of me where I grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. She struggled and hit me repeatedly making loud bangs before I buried Stormbreaker in her head, killing her instantly. I dropped her body after removing the axe and she fell through a portal back where I'd fell. I looked at the house and held up a hand, twisting it as time around the destroyed parts reversed and repaired the house to the way it was.

I gave a bored look and put the axe away before grunting. "Gods can only be killed by god weapons while bound in mortal form in this reality. That was Stormbreaker, Thor's axe."

I turned to Buffy saying I was going to sleep unless she needed someone else to die. She shook her head and I went back upstairs. When I woke up, I ate a hearty meal and Buffy asked if Glory really was dead. I nodded and told her I felt her die and dropped her body where I fell to earth.

Demons came for Dawn that night and they all died screaming to my claws. Apparently they hadn't known I was like Wolverine as Xander put it. He said they only knew I healed and was apparently really strong. I grunted, showing them each of my powers before telling them how I got each one.

Xander liked the ten rings so I offered them to him. "Take them, they'll make you immortal like me and in a century or two when everyone you know and love is dead from old age you'll want to take them off only you'll still have to live your life unless you eat a bullet."

He grimaced saying he wasn't that big a fan. I grunted and told them they were the first magical item I'd ever possessed, helping me to survive for so long before humans evolved on that earth. Willow asked how I ended up two million years in the past. I shrugged. "I don't remember. Funnily enough I'm so old that part of my memory is burnt out. I lost it before I could learn to protect my mind from the ravages of time. Immortality doesn't make you all powerful or immune to squat. It just means you won't die of old age."