Ch.84

I wandered around from Essos to the north beyond the wall and back to the seven kingdoms in time to join Robert's rebellion on the Targaryen mad king. I took in Jon, the boy both Eddard and I knew to be his sister and Rhaegar Targaryen's legitimate son. I told Eddard how she loved him and how they married in secret because she couldn't love Robert. I took the boy promising to give him a better, simple, life away from Robert's hammer or being called a bastard and treated with disdain by Eddard's wife.

He grimaced and I smuggled the wee babe out of the red keep, away from Kings landing and into Dorne. There I raised the boy, traveling across the seven kingdoms as a whimsical merchant of sorts. On his sixteenth name day, I gave Jon Targaryen, first of his name as I chuckled calling him that, his family sword. It was Valyrian Steel and his alone now as I told him his story.

He knew well how to track, hunt, fight and kill. He'd killed his first man when he was thirteen and he was damned good at if after my training. I'd taught him morals, what to expect, how to rule if he chose and a year later, I paid for him to be bedded by a whore in Winterfell while I was fucking Ros, the whore I favored.

I'd beaten the fuck out of Eddard's ward, Theon Greyjoy, when he'd tried to purchase some time with her over the past near year. This of course had Eddard on my ass until he realized who fucked up Theon. He asked why I did it and I shrugged. "Little lordling boy thinks he's important enough to talk down to me when he's never killed a man nor ruled a kingdom of his own. If I'd swung that way, it'd be his ass that'd been used instead of the whore's cunt."

I moved a coin between my fingers and relaxed with my feet up on the table in the hall of Winterfell. The master at arms grabbed his sword and the guards did theirs while the Maester said that perhaps it would be wise not to disrespect the lord whom I'm in front of. I chuckled and Eddard told them. "It's fine. If I were eight thousand years old and had been a king all that time, I imagine I'd find it hard to put anyone in my eyes."

I grunted. "Being immortal and unkillable helps too. Still, I guess I could play nice and all."

I flipped the coin to the Maester. "For the boy's treatment. Do tell him if I catch him sniffing around my favorite whore I'll be sure to make sure he's incapable of passing on his seed. Perhaps it'll teach him some manners or maybe heading to the iron islands to fuck his last female relative would help, hmm. I have been bored as of late and having a few semi immortal bastards might lighten my amusements."

I turned to Eddard. "Do let me know if your eldest daughter is available. I'm sure she'd make a great queen when I return to Dorne and start a war to take adorn back from the seven kingdoms. I did promise the Targaryen brat I'd return to take back my throne when the seven kingdoms no longer bent knew to the dragons. Insane lot they were, too much inbreeding. Then again, the Lannister twins seem to be taking up that path now."

I smirked. "Three brats and not a one with Baratheon brown. Haha, even the Targaryen brats hair changed when they wed that house. Dumb fuckers think a mad king won't rise from it again."

I shook my head and stood up. Ed's face was in a deep frown, but I wasn't interested. I left telling him to keep the Greyjoy brat away from me or my favorite whore. I visited Ros again right afterwards and asked if she'd like to become a mistress to the immortal king of Dorne. To be covered in silks while her cunt is used by me alone.

She was very happy to hear that and I warned her that her children would be long lived and take on the name Sands. She didn't mind, fucking away with great enthusiasm especially when I cut my chest and she watched it heal, seeing I wasn't spinning a tall tale. Weeks later I went for a ride with Ed via invitation because he knew I was in town. I brought Jon with me and watched the execution of the deserter from the wall.

I grunted and Jon made a mental note to head to savers bay and buy Unsullied to man the Night's Watch. He told me of his plan and I nodded absentmindedly. We'd been all over Essos, fought horse lords, Unsullied and Iron Born as well as pirates and everything in between. He wore similar leather armor to me and covered in weapons.

Robb Stark and Theon sparked up a conversation with him along the way back and we stopped to see a Dire Wolf dead and it's pups there. I found the runt and gave it to Jon, telling him it was a belated birthday present and the last gift besides gold he'd get from me. Jon smiled wryly, knowing I wasn't lying and yet finding it funny because I owed him nothing and raised him because I was bored.

Ned allowed Brann and Robb to take the pups back to Winterfell for the last of the Stark children. We heard of King Robert coming and I visited Ros in my chambers in the castle where she was allowed now. I stayed for Robert's visit and Ned told Robert of my offer of betrothal to Sansa when she was of age. Robert and I met in the feast hall and he asked what I was doing outside Dorne.

I shrugged. "I gave up my throne to be a sell sword while the Targaryens ruled because I didn't wish my people to suffer more wars of dragon fire. As fun as it was for nearly two centuries, killing dragons loses it amusement when your people are suffering."

Cersei asked if I was really immortal. I smirked. "Well, I don't have a dragon here to burn me to ashes, but if you'll like someone to run me through, do make it quick."

Sander Clegane said he'd fuck me with his sword and I smirked, waving Jon down. "My boy here could do the same to you pretty boy, but if you'd like a real fight, you won't live long enough to poke me with anything. I conquered Dorne on my own, bent the First Men to my will and forged a kingdom through blood. I've had eight thousand years to perfect the art of killing and not even the faceless men and their god of death can't touch me boy, but do give it your best shot."

I stood from my chair and hopped over the table, standing in the center of the room. Robert nodded for him to go ahead and Sander drew his sword. He told me I'd regret not drawing mine but I snorted and dodged his blow, beating him over the head repeatedly, dodging and slamming him into the ground brutally. I beat and beat him until he was knocked out.

I grabbed his sword and stood up, facing the king and queen with Ned and his wife. They watched as I ran it through my heart and twisted before pulling the sword free and tossing it to the floor. I brought up my hand and shoved it into the hole, pulling out my still beating heart. The women grew faint as I smirked and tossed it into the fire.

My chest healed before their eyes before I walked back to my seat. "That was fun. Did I answer your question then oh queen of Westeros?"

Cersei nodded and Robert told them how I saved his ass in battle by taking an axe that split me in half before I healed just like that. I popped a grape and Ros sitting next to me looked satisfied. I turned to Jaime Lannister and asked if the famed King Slayer would like to challenge a former and future king of Dorne. Robert coughed before asking. "Future? You planning on rebelling then?"

I shrugged. "Not in your lifetime. Though you get any fatter Robert and you may not last much longer. Those clothes certainly won't anyways."

He relaxed before chuckling which relieved the tension. He grunted. "I hear you intend to marry Ned's eldest daughter?"

I shrugged. "When she's older and ready, if she wants she'll be my queen of Dorne after the next roast or stag does you in."

Cersei frowned. "Joffrey will be your king after Robert's time."

I chuckled. "Girl, I have no king. I am a free man and not beholden to anyone nor have I sworn fealty to shite. Robert is no more my king then the Targaryen brats before him and besides owing Brandon Stark for patching me up eight thousand years ago when I fell off his damned wall, I don't owe anyone anything."

I flipped a coin in the air before flicking it to the ceiling. "Joffrey will not rule over Dorne in his time unless he shows strength, purpose and the heart of a king. Hell, Robert lacks the last part with his drinking, whoring and lack of care for the kingdoms."

Robert didn't argue so Tyrian Lannister asked. "What is the heart of a king in your eyes my lord?"

I grunted. "To answer that question, I have one of my own. What is a king in your eyes little Lannister? Someone who tells others what to do? Someone to fuck a queen? Someone who declares war? Define a king in your eyes and I'll explain what the heart of a king is."

He looked contemplative for a while before saying. "Someone who leads people."

I chuckled. "If it were so simple Knights and anyone telling even the lowliest servants are kings."

I sighed. "A true king is both above the highest lord and below the lowliest servant. They are servants of the people, protectors, guardians, scholars, heroes and villains. They are whatever their people require of them. Lands mean nothing to a true king, it's the people, they are the kingdom, each and every soul the king governs from the lords to the whores, they are responsible for every life and their duty is to give those lives the best they can while safeguarding them."

I flicked the coin to the Imp. "Remember my words little Lannister. There's a reason thrones are hard as stone. No king is meant to sit easy. They should wake in the wee hours in worry, work and toil endlessly and devote their all to those they serve and rule."

Joffrey asked. "Is that why you gave up your throne for then? Tired of leading idiots?"

I growled and flicked my hand as a dagger pierced the chair he sat on and cut his cheek. "Boy, you'd best watch your fucking tongue before I cut it out of you!"

I stood and the Lannister men with the kings guards looked uneasy, grabbing their weapons. I glared at each of them before snorting. "I gave up my throne and left after making the Targaryen brat swear to leave my people alone because I couldn't stay without causing the war to continue. My people fought those damned dragons for near on two hundred years while your Lannister house bent knee to suckle their cocks centuries before boy. Even the king of the north saw no easy life for his people and gave in to spare his people's lives. I only gave in because my people allowed it after two centuries of fighting. They, each and every one of them, had fought a bloody war for longer than your ancestors had sucked the tits of the dragons. So you will watch your tongue or ruling will be the least of your fucking problems."

He flinched hard at my rant and I sat back down after Jon grabbed the kunai and threw it back to me. I caught it without looking and sheathed it before sitting. Robert told Joffrey to have the Maesters look at his wound. He glanced at me wearily as I wasn't an enemy he wanted to make. Joffrey whined to Cersei who wanted me arrested only Robert belayed that order knowing I'd massacre them all even without Jon whom he could tell was with me from our identical armor and weapons.

The next day I found Jaime about to sneak up to the abandoned watchtower and knew I'd not get another chance so I made an illusion and changed my face the Faceless man style. I looked like Jaime while Cersei couldn't see him and he was in the corner fucking a male pig none but me could see or hear. I fucked Cersei cause honestly, why not? She was tight enough and more than willing when she thought I was Jaime.

I dumped enough seed in her to make an army of bastards before seeing Jaime push the Stark brat off the tower. A quick spell later and Cersei would carry my brat thinking they were Jaime's and claiming them as Robert's. I left and fucked Ros before telling Jon that I was heading towards Hightower once I visit Kings Landing and empty out Littlefinger's whorehouses of my favorites.

He sighed. "I'll stay here then. I've business with Robb about the wall."

I nodded and waved a hand, filling his room with chests of gold. I grunted and made a ring before putting the gold in it with a wave. I tossed the ring to Jon. "Consider this our goodbye and your inheritance, a million gold dragons. Half of what I have on me."

He nodded and we shared a hug before I told him. "If you die I'll bring you back and kick your ass brat."

He chuckled. "You know I don't die easy…father."

I smiled at his words before leaving. I brought out a carriage Jon and I had used when we were in Westeros and Ros left with me in it while it moved as if by magic guiding the horses. In actuality, it was my damned armor I'd found cloaked in my ring. It'd taken forever to get it to recognize me and make use of it.

The ride was extremely smooth thanks to the shock absorbers and all terrain wheels. Ned had agreed to my proposal so long as Sansa had her first blood before I came for her. Until then she'd stay in the north while Arya was to be wed to Joffrey. Sansa had agreed when I asked her opinion on the matter so I told her I'd be back and she would be my first wife, but not my only one.

I told her that our children would be king lived at a a few hundred years apiece and their children after them, but I'd have to delve into magics if she intended to be immortal by my side forever. I left her with that thought and headed south with Ros. Sansa knew the score on that account. I was a man and she wasn't yet a woman so I needed others to satisfy my needs.