Mortality

As his eyelids move from off of his eyes, the bright, yellow-white lights enters his lens. While he wants to, his arm does not move to his face to cover himself from the lights. The ceiling is made up of light grey panels with white strips in between, and the occasional panel is replaced with a luminescent one. Andrew looks around, as much as he can at least. He can not move his eyes all around and see through his body anymore.

[This is… the real world. Where was I… what was that… dimension?]

He can see most of the room. The hospital room, where he lays in bed with needles and tubes attached to his arm and neck. A heartrate and brainwave monitor to the left, and behind those a grand window. His vision is blurry, not letting him make out the buildings outside. He looks to the right, and his eyes open wide.

[She…]

A woman with long, light grey hair coming down to her hips sits there, with her back facing him. She has a tender, youthful body, thin and fragile.

[Sarah, isn't it?]

Andrew tries to reach out, but his arm does not budge. He opens his mouth, but only a few puffs of air fly out, with no audible sound.

[I can't move… anything. I can't talk… and, I don't feel anything, not the bed, neither the blankets. Only the pillow below my head.]

Andrew makes attempts to get Sarah's attention, but fails continuously. He let's out a sigh, making Sarah chuckle. His eyes move her way, and she turns around. His vision is still blurry.

"I knew you were awake. Your breathing changed, I noticed that." Sarah explains. Andrew tries to respond, but nothing close to sound is coming out of his lungs.

[I can't talk… I can't respond…]

"That must be agonizing, not being able to respond." Sarah says. She remains silent for a minute before continuing. "The knife ruptured your vocal chords, they were irreparable."

[The knife? Which knife? Was that not… didn't that happen in the dream? It didn't… I see.]

"It also…" Sarah holds her hand in front of her mouth and takes a deep breath. "It also completely severed your arteries and nerves running through your neck… all the main ones." She turns her head away from Andrew after finishing her sentence, covering it with her mouth.

[Oh yeah, she was never good with this kind of stuff… always leaving the classroom whenever it came up… without saying anything. I want to respond…]

Andrew's vision returns to normal. Sarah's light grey, silver-like hair sparkles in the light of the sun, and her eyes and mouth smile soothingly as she looks down upon the bedridden Andrew.

[I want to reach out…]

Sarah moves her hand towards his head, and strokes his cheek. He can not respond. Not even fully smile, only slightly. Ever so slightly.

"Andrew." Sarah starts. Andrew focuses his eyes on her as a response. "They will not be able to restore you." She says bluntly. "The doctor said that he needed to say that, but I know you would want me to do it. Maybe you already know, or already thought about it…"

[I was expecting it at most, Sarah. I will never be able to talk again… or walk… that is what she is saying…]

"I wish I found you sooner."

Andrew's eyes open a little wider than before, and Sarah notices and chuckles. "Okay then… I'll tell you what happened." Sarah takes her eyes off Andrew and looks out the window, while Andrew changes his view to the ceiling, keeping her in the corner of his vision.

"You did not wake up on that day, on Friday November 8th, 2019. The ambulance rushed over and tried to resurrect you with chest presses and defibrillators, but to no avail. Instantanious cardiac arrest. It was far from common, especially at your age."

"After you were declared deceased, May was outraged. It was her only way of dealing with her feelings, and it devastated her after only a few days. Everyone shed tears, but no one came close to her sorrow, not even your parents. They were doing all the paper work for a funeral, without your body."

[I was taken away immediately… that must have been… most of the shock.]

"You were not even taken to the hospital, but to Frigital. Your parents, May, Keil, Lin, all tried to cancel your contract."

[They… they did? So from the beginning they wanted me to… be dead. Even May?]

"From what I heard, your parents did not want you to… exist in a future you wouldn't be a part of. I don't think anyone expected you to wake up so early…"

[But you…]

"Except for me." Sarah states, and Andrew quickly moves his eyes towards her. "I hate to say this, but… I forced myself not to cry, to weep. The day after the incident, I looked online to see how the technology was. Cryogenics was further ahead than I thought. Than all of us thought, but I never told them. I wrote my letter after that, having the strong feeling that I would see you again." Sarah faces Andrew. "And I was right!" She happily exclaims, while a single tear falls down her welled up eyes.

[She knew all along… she kept herself together better than anyone, and actually went to find me. To see me again, unlike May. Unlike all the others that despised me for… dying.]

She wipes away the tears from her eyes and looks out the window again, at the formations of the bright white summer clouds. "After our school years we parted ways. We talked a little for the first few months, but that quickly went away. I haven't spoken to Keil and Lin in years."

[And May…?]

"Finding clues is tough. Every year, I tried to find any sort of thread connected to you, but it was all in vain, except for this year. The news helped me find you. An article about the Mayor of Perigowinkle threatening and accidentally stabbing a teenager in the neck was on every headline. How would people know? Well, she called the ambulance for you."

[She would've just let me die on the floor.]

"The police required an explanation, so she showed on her security cameras that you were the one walking into the knife."

[I was? I don't remember… walking, but it doesn't matter. Not anymore.]

"Thinking she was safe with that is laughable, if you ask me. She was arrested for threatening someone with a weapon and greatly wounding them. But that was when I knew it had to be you. Melissa was the most silent about your death, but also the one that most wanted to cancel your contract with Frigital." Sarah takes a deep breath after finishing. She looks up at the ceiling tiles, at the same tile Andrew is staring at. The tile is in the centre of four enlightened tiles that make up the corners of a five by five grid.

"So that's how I ended up here. I asked if you were taken in and if I could sit beside you throughout the day, and luckily they agreed. They said to notify a doctor once you woke up, but I wanted to explain, well, everything first. I don't know if there is any more to say."

Andrew looks at her, and tries to convey his thoughts through his eyes in a desperate attempt.

[Keil and Lin, what happened to them?]

"You seem to know I forgot something." Sarah responds, before closing her eyes and going through all that she said.

"Oh, is it Keil and Lin?" Sarah asks. Andrew blinks slightly longer than usual and goes back to looking at the ceiling.

"I see that as a yes, but I have to apologize. Nothing special happened, really. Keil asked her out a few weeks after the incident, maybe just one week actually. She accepted and they were together for about a year, but broke up when the final year ended. When I asked, both of them said that it was because their life had only just started, but I think that's is just a weak excuse. I don't know the real reason, sorry."

[That's fine… that's all I need to know. Your memory is great, Sarah, greater than mine, or anyone else I've met.]

"And as for me, I didn't do anything too special. I studied Biochemistry and went on to Master in Virology, studying viruses and diseases and the like. I still work to this day, but my vacation started the other day, luckily. I wouldn't have been here otherwise."

[You're way more talkative than you used to be… but you're still the same. So much and so little change at the same time… it's amazing. I don't have anything else to ask, so call the doctor if you want.]

Sarah moves her hand to Andrew's face and strokes his cheek again. She looks at him with a gentle smile, and he looks back. Sarah stands up slowly and walks out of the room. Shortly after she returns with a doctor.

[Wait… there's one more thing… but I can't ask. I can't speak, or make a sound.]

"So, mister Hillton, I assume Sarah has…" The young man, nearing the end of his twenties, stops in his sentence. "Are you alright?" Andrew's eyes move from the doctor to Sarah rapidly and multiple times.

"He wants to ask something." Sarah tells the doctor. "Or know something… I thought I told him everything though…" Sarah has a rough time trying to come up with what Andrew wanted to ask.

[About Helen… is she related to you? I want to know… after that, I can go to sleep…]

"Sorry, Andrew, but I have no idea what I missed." Sarah says after a short moment in thoughts. Andrew relaxes his mind.

[Guess I'll never know for sure… I have no way of asking you.]

"Mister Hillton," The young doctor continues. "If you can hear me clearly, blink twice in quick succession."

Andrew blinks twice in quick succession with both eyes.

[Not even bothered to introduce yourself, but it wouldn't matter. I want to go to sleep soon anyway. Wait, the blinking! I might be able to ask Sarah about Helen that way, but she has to start the thread.]

"Good. From now on, two quick blinks will be 'yes' and three quick blinks will be 'no'. Is that okay?" Andrew blinks twice, and changes his focus to Sarah immediately after, who has settled down on a chair left of him. The young doctor is standing on the right. He blinks twice again.

"Hmm?"

"He still wants to know something." Sarah explains. "He wants to get there with this yes-no system." The doctor remains silent for a moment, but then agrees.

"Go ahead, I'll step out of the room for a moment. But after that, we do need to continue with the procedure." The doctor explains before exiting the room.

[A procedure… I'm part of a procedure. This is all a procedure…]

"So, where do I start…" Sarah mumbles. "Is it about someone? One or more people?"

Andrew blinks twice.

"Is it about one of your friends?" Sarah tries to hide her curiosity by talking as slowly and softly as possible.

Andrew blinks twice again.

[We are getting somewhere this way… her questions are…]

"Is it about May?"

Andrew blinks three times, telling her no.

"Is it about me?"

He blinks twice, and Sarah is surprised by his answer.

"About me… what don't you know about me…"A long minute of silence falls upon them while Sarah thinks to herself. Andrew can not fill the silence.S uddenly, Sarah comes to a realisation."Is it about… my name?" She asks hesitantly.

[Spot on, but… it seems like she doesn't want to talk about it, or something.]

Andrew blinks twice to confirm.

"Oh, it's about Helen, right?"

Andrew blinks twice for the final time, and Sarah sighs

."It's not just a simple as saying she's my daughter or granddaughter… do you want to know the full story? Or like, parts of it? Because…"

Andrew blinks twice, which she picks up immediately.

[I understand… it must be something heavy on your heart…]

"I had a husband who I married long ago, and he insisted on taking over my name. And, because the silent me was fully in love, I agreed with it. It was a dumb decision. He broke up with me a short time after, and went to have a child with another woman much later, which is Helen. His name carried over, so it became Helen Oakes. You met her at Hulive, I assume?"

Andrew blinks twice again.

"I see… well, is that enough for you? Sorry if it was a bit... well, different from what you expected." Sarah says, while keeping in her emotions.

Andrew quickly blinks twice.

[I don't need to know any more, Sarah. I just wanted some clearance… this is enough.]

Sarah leaves the room and returns with the doctor. He sits down on the chair left of Andrew's bed, and Sarah takes place again to the right.

[All these stories, for some reason remind me of my life. Of life itself, and our mortality.]

"Let's continue where we left off." The doctor says.