Chapter 35: Goodbye, Again

The ball at night is the grand ball. You can even call the one yesterday an opening if you see this one. We all wore our best dresses. Xing had designed a really beautiful 'night sky' dress. It has star decor, and a purple, blue, black, chiffon, silk, velvet. The amount of jewelry is also absurd. I doubt I can escape from bandits with this type of outfit. I allow it, since there are guards anyways. The ballroom looks even more lavish than yesterday and even has a sweet aroma in the air. I walk around the ball and dance with quite a lot of people this time, even knights and everyone. I let myself drift. Suddenly, I realize that I'm dancing with XiaoLong this turn! Uh - oh, this is what I get for not paying attention! I try to see what emotion has fallen on his face, but a shadow looms over his eyes instead.

"C-can I talk to you privately, Princess YingYue?"

I follow him into the salon, and we sit on the couch.

"You're QiLing right?"

I hesitate, "No," but he ignores me.

"QiLing, do you know how long I've been searching for you," he grabs my hand and pulls me in.

"I missed you! Everything around me was so dull until I met you, everyone would always…"

I sit like a stone as his arms wrap around me.

"I'm not this QiLing you're talking about," my voice says, but it comes out shaky. He pushes me on the couch. His eyes redden and gloss over.

"Stop lying! I know it's you!"

"..."

I look away.

"Please, come back with me. Don't blame yourself. I don't blame you."

Blame myself? Of course I do! … but deep down I know I wanted to be free of this crime.

"I love you," he whispers over tears that started to drip.

The words slip by me by accident in the smallest whisper, "I love you too, but we can't."

I realize what I did and cover my mouth. Tears start to drip down from my eyes too. I push him away and stand up.

"Please refrain yourself and rethink your thoughts, Prince Fu. I am not QiLing. I am Princess YingYue," I turn and leave.

I wipe my tears with my sleeve.

"Your highness! What's wrong?" Ji runs over to me.

I look away and don't respond. She reads the situation and escorts me to my room. I dismissed her as soon as I entered my room. I start to silently cry a river in my bedroom. It's true, I want to forgive myself, but I can't! Once my tears stopped flowing, I reminisce XiaoLong's face. I chuckle a bit. How ironic, for the very prince I use to despise to be him. He looked like an abandoned puppy when he was crying. Now I feel a bit bad.

I get ready to sleep and walk onto the balcony. The wind rustles, and I smell the river from below. What should I do now… I guess I'll avoid him first and find some way to escape. I'll have to tell mother and father, so that they don't search for me anymore. I sigh. If only I could undo that horrible past. I walk back inside and fall asleep.

The next day, I demand breakfast in my room and hurriedly pack. I keep my head low and avoid most people. It's finally time to leave! My heart pounds as we have to greet each other for the last time.

"Have a safe trip!"

We wish each other well. I looked up one last time. XiaoLong looks at me with those sad eyes from last night. TianYu reads the situation and realizes. I give them a sad smile and board my carriage.