My Daughter

"Every night I would read my son the same bedtime story: "Tale of The She-Knight". Every night he'd beg me to read it, he was so fascinated by the main character of the story. She was brave, strong willed and the only female knight. I think that's why he gave you that name. He saw her traits in you and decided to name you after the first woman he ever fancied besides me. I thought he had made the right decision, being with you that is. But I watched as my poor boy slowly lost his sanity, all because of you."

"I- What is this? Who are you?" My head is pounding against my skull. I can't make out the face of the woman talking but I can see her figure. She's short, shorter than me and has flowing jet black hair and although I can't see her face, a pair of golden eyes stare back at me. They look as if they're glowing.

"Kazmaria. You have hurt my son. You were his last bit of hope that he had in this cruel world, you loved him when no one else did, you were there when he needed you most..." The figure moves closer to me and reaches out to touch my stomach. "You gave him a chance at family when his perished."

I attempt to move back but it's as if my feet had been glued in place. Her hand on my stomach was cold and stiff, as if she weren't alive.

"Answer my questions. What's going on and how do you know me?"

"Heh, silly girl. Have you not realized it yet?" Her chilly hand moves from my belly up to my face as she gently holds my cheek in the palm of her hand. "Tu eres mi hija. I am Ricardo's mother."

"His mother? Your daughter? Ricky said his mother was murdered? Was that another lie too?" Whatever this was, it was beginning to piss me off. Who the hell was she and why does she keep touching me? Acting like she knows me? Talking about Ricky as if she knows him and calling me her daughter?

"Murdered? Now how is that possible if I'm right here in front of you, hija?"

"Because this isn't real, I'm dreaming and I am not your daughter."

"Tsk tsk, I see why my son took such a liking to you. You're sharp tongued; Ricky likes a challenge." She finally takes a few steps back and holds her hands to her chest. "I was my son's first love hija. It seems now that I have been replaced. Even as his mother I could never truly give him what he desired. I'm just happy you had the opportunity to."

"What the fuck? What in God's name are talking about? His desires? Did you do something to hurt him?"

I want to wring this bitches neck. Who was she to mess with my head like this? To feed me these lies? To blatantly tell me that she has something to do with his fucked up mindset?

"I don't have much time hija, find my boy and make it right. You're all he has now. I failed him as a mother but you, you are the key. Make it right Kazmaria, help my son in the ways I never could."

The faceless figure starts to slowly fade away and the chilly feel of her presence does as well. The darkness that surrounds me slowly gets brighter until my eyes open and I gasp. My heart is slamming inside my chest, I feel anxious and afraid.

"Ugh! Lina! Lina please, hurry!"

Along with the raging headache, my stomach is killing me.

"Oh fuck. Oh shit. Is it time? Oh lord please, okay um...Let's get you to the car."

"No no, it's still too soon. Just these goddamn cramps are no joke. I didn't mean to make you worry, I just needed help getting back to my room."

"Oh thank christ. Of course I'll help you, don't apologize." She helps me walk from the library back to my room. I don't remember falling asleep in there, odd. She sets me down on the bed and I groan. I hate depending on her like this; needing help with little things like, walking around, picking things off the floor. It was embarrassing for me, my dignity has been torn to shreds.

"Kazzie? Are you okay?"

I blink a few times. "Ah, uh yeah. Yeah I'm good."

"Do you need anything? Heating pad? Some food?"

"I just want these things out of me. I'm not fit to be anyone's mother, let alone the mother of his children." I lie my head back on the pillow and cover my face. "I don't want to do this anymore Lina. I'm scared." I whimper. "I don't want to play house, I don't want to be held down by him."

"And you don't have too be. I told you, you can come stay with me and I'll help you raise your kids." She holds my hand in hers and give it a light squeeze. "You're not alone in this Kaz, I'll be here to help you no matter what."

I sit up and wipe my eyes. "You'll really help me?"

"You have my word." She lifts her hand and gives me a stiff salute.

"Then take them."

"Wha? What are you-"

"Take them and keep them while I'm away."

"Away? Keep them? What the hell are you talking about? I'm not taking your children!"

"It won't be forever. Just until I can make sure that they can grow up in a safe place. A place where I don't have to worry about him all the time."

"Kazzie I really don't know...How do you plan on making sure that he's gone for good? He's like a fly, no matter how much you swat it, it still buzzes around your head."

"Not unless you squash it."

She stares at me with clear confusion plastered on her face. "Kazmaria, I love you and I care about you but I won't tolerate this. You need to tell me exactly what you're thinking and be honest! I can't help you if keep things from me."

I sigh. She was right, I have to start being honest with both her and myself. "Okay, no more lying. The real reason why I asked you watch after the twins is because of her." I shake as I remember her words, how cold it was and how afraid and clueless I was. "It felt so real but in the back of my head I knew it was fake."

"Her? Hey, you're scaring me. What are you talking about?"

"In the dream. She said it was my job to fulfill his desires in ways she couldn't. By doing that I'd have to stay with him and play the role of mother. The one she couldn't carry out."

"Shit Kaz, was it another vision? Those always happen right? Oh fuck dude, you're freaking me out."

"And you don't think I am?"

To say I was scared would be an understatement. I was confused. I didn't want to give my children away. I wanted to go back to him, I loved him, I knew that. I wanted to be at his side again, me and the twins. I wanted to try my luck at being a normal family but the longer I thought the more ridiculous it seemed.

I knew what I had to do. Despite what that woman told me, I had to hurt the man I loved so dearly. But one question continues to haunt me; Is all of this really worth the pain?