Boss

I damn near shit myself when the hatch opened behind me. For some reason, I had been expecting somebody other than my crew. Something with more, how should we say it? Malicious intent.

So I was clearly relieved when it turned out to only be Zek who came out through that hatch that led to the bridge. All the same, I stood there, back against the console, short sword raised at the entrance to which Zek raised both of his hands upon entrance, not actually speaking, but mouthing the word "woah."

It took me a minute to lower the blades, processing that it wasn't a foe that stood in front of me, but rather, my closest ally at the moment.

I let go of the blade, hearing it clatter to the metallic floor followed immediately by me sliding down the captain's podium down to the ground, the wheel shifting a few notches as I did so, but making no significant change.

"Are we clear?" I asked Zek, who had just walked up to the wall to my side, sliding down it as well all the way to the ground.

"I. I think we are. Did we really just fucking do that? Steal a damn cruiser from the Fire Nation?"

"I think we just did."

He scoffed. I wasn't sure if it was because he found the circumstances amusing, he didn't believe we were really clear, or something else.

"That was. Way to damn easy. I cannot believe we just got away with that."

Of course we got away. We just stole a century old derelict fire nation cruiser from a Fire Nation outpost in the middle of Raava knows where right in the middle of one of the greatest shifts of power in the Fire Nation in history. Of course we got away with it. Of course, I didn't say that much. There was no reason to.

"But we did," I said instead. "We did get away with it."

He chuckled. "So what did you think of my performance down there?"

I scoffed. "For a second there, even I thought you were telling the truth."

He laughed and I followed suit to offer what little encouragement I could.

The half hearted chuckled soon subsides. It was clear what was going through our minds. We were, for all intents and purposes lost. Nearly a year of preparation amongst ourselves back while we had served under Iroh had led to this. And now, we were there. We had the ship. We were right on track, but we were completely lost. It's a wonder even one of us managed to voice the shared thought pervading in the atmosphere of the bridge, but Zek got to it first.

"So what now, Boss?"

What now? Great question. We are adrift in sea, heading south along the coast of a Nation that wants us dead. Chan's fleet is somewhere in this sea, north, south, east, or west, hell, maybe all. And they want us captured and hanged for deserters. We're short on food. We'd abandoned most of our supplies outside of the disassembly site and were adrift with little food, little water, and no money.

"Well. Before we do anything. We need to take inventory," I said, pushing myself off the ground. "Zek, get Gordez somewhere comfortable, and-" There was a look on Zek's face. "What is it?"

"We left Shanzi behind."

"Yeah," I said, pausing, wondering exactly what was going through Zek's mind regarding this tank, named after his now dead friend's girlfriend back in the colonies. "We did."

"That tank has inside of it all the food and other shit we got in Citadel. The stuff Hizo died for."

"You want to go for it?"

"We need the stuff. Food, water, hell, medicine for Gordez."

He knew exactly what I wanted to hear. The solutions to all of my, no, our problems.

"The area could be crawling with Fire Nation. They'll be investigating what just happened."

"No they won't. Right now, they'll be too busy getting their husks back to the dock to worry about some tank parked outside the perimeter of their post. It'll be clear."

"What if when we stop, their patrols find us? What then?"

"It's as I said. They have bigger concerns than some derelict Fire Nation cruiser."

Using my own thoughts against me. I considered it for a moment. I really did. And when I opened my mouth to say the words "Be careful," nothing came out. Instead, I saw Hizo's dead body as we poured the dirt over his grave. The way his lifeless eyes stared up at me before I closed them as Zek had been too out of it to close his eyes himself. I thought of how just 1 month ago, Squad Iron Fire consisted of 15 able bodied men. Now, we were down to 4. I wasn't losing anybody else. Not when it could be avoided.

"No," was my answer.

He had expected the answer just as much as I had. Not at all. "Wh-what?" he asked. "But why? We need the stuff. Gordez is hurt and we need everything we can get our hands on. Who knows how long until we reach a friendly port where we can find some food and water?"

"Sorry, Zek, but no. I'm not losing anybody else."

"I can do this, Boss. I have to. I have to get Shanzi back. For Hizo."

I had already crushed Zek's spirit once these last few weeks, but then, it had been both him and Hizo. Now one was dead, the other trying to avenge him. And I refused to picture a future where it was somebody else on this ship: Luke, Gordez, or hell, me, avenging Zek as he too had died.

"No. I'm sorry."

"But, Boss"

"I said No!"

I hadn't intended to yell, but I had. And Zek realized the futility of his situation. He turned to leave. I wanted to apologize. To say that I understood what he was going through, but there was no way to justify leaving behind his greatest friend's only possession. The only reminder left of him. There was no way to justify it as it simply wasn't justifiable. I was doing what I did to keep him safe. Us safe. I wanted to explain this all, but instead, merely said, "And Zek. Please find Gordez something comfortable and take stock of the ship with Luke."

He looked back at me for a minute there, his gaze like that of a beaten dog who no longer recognized his owner. And just so, his answer was a whimper. "Yes sir."

And with that, he left, leaving me to wonder just what the hell I was doing.