Boss

Luke of all people came to see me that afternoon. I imagined it was to speak of something personal. Instead, he was merely the courier of the report of the inventory. He handed me his, reading, very simply "Nothing."

I wasn't surprised. What did surprise me was that Zek's report wasn't included. So I asked. "And Zek? Did he finish?"

Luke then handed me a second note. It read, too similarly, "Nothing. Off to change that."

And so until evening, I paced the ship dozens of times over as the sun began to sit as we waited near the coast on a motionless vessel.

And then that evening, he returned. I looked him in the eye as he piloted his patrol boat, Shanzi loaded onto it, into the rear dock of the cruiser as Gordez and Luke attached it and winched it into its spot, closing the bay doors behind.

And so that night, I found myself thinking again.

Because while Zek sat in the cell I had sent him to for the night, Gordez was resting, put to sleep by anesthetics, comfortably settled in a sleeping bag, Luke read a book he had left behind in the tank, and I sat, no longer worried about the next day, all of us with full stomachs and quenched thirsts.

I brought Zek's meal to him that night, sliding it under his cell door, all perishable meals made for the army, but absolutely better than nothing.

And as I turned to leave, I was shocked to see him be the first to speak, "I'm sorry, Boss. I know you were looking out for my safety, but so was I. I know there's only four of us, and you don't want to lose anymore, but there are only four of us. You can't do this alone. You have us here to help you. That's why we joined. You're our Boss, and we'll follow you to the end, but we're not your children. We're soldiers. And soldiers fight.

Those same words haunted me as I lay in a sleeping bag in what was intended to be the captain's quarters, and I thought. Thought long and hard. And realized that everything he said was right. I couldn't protect them forever.