Junior Lieutenant Zhao

Even in the black of night, the sea shone a bright white. I leaned over the front rail of the transport, my eyes drawn to the giver of this light-the moon-towering over us all.

The waves beat at the hull of our transport as we sped along the water surface, unusually bumpy for what should have been a calm midnight ride. But then again, when exactly had the elements been on our side throughout all of this?

I managed somehow, to find a sense of peace and serenity as the salt of the sea mist coated my face in an oddly refreshing and calming sensation, despite literally being in the heart of a hostile environment, caught between two antagonists, the moon and sea, both seemingly intent on killing us. So why didn't they just do it now? I never understood the spirits. Sometimes, they decide to play the role of an omnipotent god, intent on making our lives as miserable as humanly possible, whereas other times, it was easy to forget they existed, that they lorded over us all.

"We need to talk about what happened back there," Harzek said, moving on over next to me, his back to the rail. "We need to talk about what we're going to say during the debriefing."

The debriefing. My eyes drifted to the blockade in front of us, black figures sitting ominously on a white, blue waterline. "We tell them what happened."

"You mean the magic spirit library in the desert? Even if they do believe us, it won't accomplish anything. The Si Wong spans a third of the Earth Kingdom, at least. We don't have the resources to comb the entire thing looking for something that may not even exist."

"It exists."

"Because you saw it in a dream and some old tribal only wearing a leaf to cover his crotch said so?"

I shook my head. "What's the point of this? You've already made up your mind about me and everything I have to say."

"It's not me you're trying to convince. You're going to be put in front of the Admiral of this armada and you can damn well expect he's not going to send thousands of Fire Nation soldier into the middle of the desert on the promise of some library being out there that may or may not even help us."

"It's out there."

"Then make that clear to them. Better than you're doing right now to me because I'm not convinced."

"Why would you be? You made up your mind about me the day we met. You want me to fail."

He sighed. "Look, Zhao. I hate your guts; I think we both know that. You're conceited, vain, you think you're better than everybody else around you and, hell, maybe you are, but you think that you can trample on everybody else around you just to raise yourself to the top. That's not how this works. The Fire Nation isn't a career opportunity. It's a duty. Right now, you're only loyal to yourself. Me? I may hate you, and hell, I may even want you to fail, but I love my nation, and if this is a chance to see it come back from setback after setback, and finally get back on the right track, I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. For the sake of the Fire Nation, I hope you're right, because my loyalty is to something other than myself-to the values I believe in, and the Nation that defends them."

I didn't bother responding to that, to one who was so clearly an idealist, believing in the world to be some perfect creation that he could breeze through without having to get his hands dirty. The man was still only a lieutenant, despite having served for over a decade. Merit could only bring one so far, but without the willingness to do what had to be done, to trample on others from time to time, he'd always be stuck at the bottom. I wasn't like him. I had a future ahead of me, but even as my eyes were set on where I would be years from now, his words still struck some truth for me. Everybody, at the end of the day, was a servant to somebody else. Even the Fire Lord served his nation as much as they served him. No matter how high I go, I will always be servant to something else, be it a man, nation, or ideology. But what am I without it? A man without a cause. And what good is that?

The black behemoth of Admiral Shu's Empire-class warship grew closer and closer, and I kept Harzek's words in mind, wondering for the life of me what the hell I would say.

Harzek was completely right. No commanding officer, hell, anybody for that matter, would venture into the Si Wong desert aimless, having absolutely no idea what they were looking for. Unless you were the sandbenders. Alright, that was a lead, but just saying, "sandbenders" accomplished nothing. They were divided into numerous tribes, prowling completely different areas of the desert. To somehow manage to get the word out to the various tribes would be damn near impossible. They do however have a common accomplice: the beetle-headed merchants. Even then though, the time it would take for them to get a message back to us, much more manage to even get in contact with every tribe in the area and get the word out, but, no, why use them as the middlemen? The centuries they've spent in this area already, they themselves would have to know. Right?

The self-questioning didn't stop as we drew in closer and closer to the Ajax. If anything, they swelled. Nearby universities also like to dedicate their studies towards the desert and its ancient history. There's ought to be some professors, at the very least, graduates who would know a thing or two, right? We walked through the halls, ascending the stairway that brought us higher and higher, ever closer to the Admiral's bridge. We have mounts, scouts trained precisely for this aim. Worst case scenario, we have them search the desert. No, no, no, that would take months, maybe years. Harzek and I were told to wait in front of the door to the bridge. Oh hell no. I can't do this; I can't do this. "Relax, Zhao." Harzek said. "Fire Nation doesn't need you to stutter right now. It needs you to be decisive."

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? Why was I this nervous? It was all because of Harzek. He made me doubt myself. He was trying to sabotage me! The door opened. "The Admiral will see you now."

We entered.

No.

He had his back towards us, turned, and there he was, now facing us, expectantly. "So you've made it back. I trust you have something to report? Lieutenant Harzek"

Shit.

"Yes, sir. We were making our way through the mountains when we were met with unexpected weather conditions, namely a spontaneous maelstrom that struck our camp in the middle of the night." Spontaneous maelstrom? Sure. Anything to not say spirits. "We were separated, but for the most part, managed to rendezvous en route towards our mission location. We met some resistance along the ways, namely tribals and what seemed to be a more sophisticated unit of waterbenders, wearing acclimatized armor. We do not know the full extent of swampbender tribal involvement, having seen some signs of division between them, but we believe that a number of them are supported waterbender guerillas, and they may be aligned with the Separatists."

"Any casualties?"

"2, sir."

"And what of your primary objective?"

Fuck.

I knew he was talking to me, I swallowed. I know what happened. I don't have to be worried. I did what I was there to do. I succeeded in my mission. I learned more than what we knew before. "I believe that we may have picked up a lead."

"In terms of stopping the spirits in this area?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then go on…" Was this the part where I was supposed to recite my dreams? This wasn't going to work. No way on Earth.

I gulped, and cleared my throat, before even beginning to say, "It is widely acknowledged that the Foggy Bottom Swamp has a very strong connection with the Spirit World, known for giving visions."

"And you had one of these visions, I take it?" He got to it before I even could. He's not going to believe anything I say, is he?

"Y-yes, sir. I received visions of a temple, I mean, a great library in the Si Wong Desert. It seemed as though, there, we could find the answers we needed."

"And this is all based upon a dream that you had?"

"No-no, sir. I also questioned one who seemed to be a local shaman for the tribals. He confirmed what I asked him about whether the visions meant anything. He said they did."

"Could have just been trying to get you to leave as quickly as possible, lead you on a wild goose chase."

"I don't believe that was his intention, sir. He seemed willing to give information."

"Even if that's the case, which I doubt it is, I have to ask, what are you expecting from me? To deploy my army into the desert to search for some mysterious library. I sent you into that swamp to gain concrete information."

"And I have a lead." He looked to me. I spoke out of term. "I'm-I'm sorry, sir. I spoke out of turn."

"Yes, you did, but now that you've already done so, no point going back. What do you have to say?"

"There's other ways we can gain information. There's the sandbenders. We're not on good nor bad terms with them. They'll do anything to make a quick silver. Same with the beetle-head merchants. They know the deserts more than anybody else, and every corner of it too. We could also reach out to the nearby universities. I know Gaoling has one that focuses on the desert."

"Then you know what to do next, it already seems."

Wait. What?

"Wait, so-"

"You have permission to continue along with your investigation. Lieutenant Harzek will continue to support you. He will remain in charge of his troops, but he is instructed to provide aid wherever and however you can."

I looked over to Harzek, and while he remained silent, there was no mistaking the grimace on his face.

"I'll inform my scribe to allow you access to the messenger hawks. Get your messages out, but the rest is in your hands. And Lieutenant Harzek."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'll ask of you more details regarding them. We just captured a Separatists prisoner 2 days ago. He seems willing to cooperate. Question him and see if you can learn any information about the Separatists and these waterbender exiles. Zhao, get to work. Both of you, dismissed!"

Harzek bowed before leaving the bridge, but I stood there, for a little while longer at the very least. I was full of questions and wanted, no ,needed answers.

"P-permission to speak, Admiral?"

"Granted."

"Why?"

"Meaning?"

"Why are you allowing this to go on? We lost 2 men in that swamp, gained barebones intelligence on the enemy, and all we have regarding our primary objective is that somewhere in a desert spanning a third of the continent, there's a library where we hope we may find answers."

"Are you doubting the worth of your mission?"

"No, sir. I've seen the threat that these spirits pose to us, but I'm just confused as to why-"

"You answered your own question. The Fire Nation is at stake. Not just here in the Nip Sea, but its entire war. You've seen the maps, Zhao. Ever since Ba Sing Se, we've been losing ground. We lost nearly half of our holdings in the northern Earth Kingdom in the last 3 months. They're pushing back, and it's clear that there are forces on the other side that are going to make retaking that ground damn near impossible. Our war on this continent isn't the only thing at stake, but our survival as an island Nation surrounded by what can only be considered to be the enemy on all sides of us. We need this to work. If it doesn't, I can't tell you how long I expect us to last, let alone on this front. I don't know if this library exists, but I intend on finding out. It's the only chance we have. Do you understand that?"

"I do, sir, and thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. But complete your mission and thanks may just go the other way. Dismissed, Junior Lieutenant."

I saluted and left the room to find Harzek waiting directly in front of me. As we joined, there were a few moments of deadly silence and indecisiveness between us over who would speak first, but the moment we left earshot of the guards in front of the Admiral's door, Harzek answered the question in the air, saying, "I lost 2 of my men in that swamp. Good soldiers too. I obey my superiors, and I'll follow my orders, but if you get my men killed over some wild goose chase, I will not hesitate to chalk up your death as another casualty if it means saving my men. Is that clear?"

"You heard the Admiral's orders, lieutenant. You may not like it, but this is the way it is. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to be doing."

"Listen." I was taken aback when he now held his forearm to my throat, pinning me to the wall in a feat of strength I hadn't expected from him "You are not my superior. I never have, and never will raise my hands to a superior. I've never failed a missions before either, but I'd rather fail my mission and keep my men alive than succeed with my men dead. It would be in your best interest that you find a way to merge the two."

I scoffed, "Take the chance to raise your hands to me while you can. Unlike you, I know how this game works. If you really care about serving and obeying superiors, I suggest you start now."

"So full of yourself aren't you? I recommend you start learning that men are not so different than machines like the one in which we're standing. We obey, we're efficient, but push us to far, and here's where we differ from machines-machines break down, but you push us far enough, and we push back. Keep that in mind, Zhao. I imagine we're going to get to know each other quite well."

He released his grip on me, and made his departure. He had his objectives. Some Separatists prisoner. Me? I had my own job to do.

It was already 1 hour past midnight, but I wasn't yet ready to call it a night. I spent the next hour writing 2 separate letters. One towards the University of Gaoling, emphasizing the purely educational nature of this venture, and potential University funding that could come their way. I appealed to their two primary concerns: the quest for more knowledge, and subsidies. They may have been on opposite sides of the war, but funding was funding. I then wrote towards one towards a known associate within the beetle-merchants, promising great wealth if he provided us with what we needed. In both cases, I left the precise nature of what we were searching for vague, merely asking to set up meetings in both cases, on the request that they bring with them those who know landmarks of the desert better than anybody else. By the end of the hour, the letters were done, and sent.

I hardly slept a wink that night, the fear reeking through my body of what was in store. The next day, the replies came. Well, one came before the other, the one from the University. They informed me of an expert they actually possessed in the field who was, at the moment, quite literally in the field, working on their thesis paper. They told me that he had embarked on a quest to interview civilizations on the outer rim of the desert, but they had no idea where he was. Not an hour later, the reply came from the beetle-head merchants, and their first statement was how they possessed precisely what we needed, a University student who had been interviewing and questioning the Si Wong tribes for over 6 months. They offered to ransom him to us. 2 birds with one stone. Maybe fate wasn't as against me as I'd thought. I sent my reply telling them to come immediately, and that we'd meet them outside of Shibi. Things were finally starting to look my way.