I had known something was wrong from the beginning, when I had seen the smoke on the horizon, and I hadn't stopped them.
I should have stopped them, should have prevented them from leaving.
I thought, wanted to think that it was just an effect of the battle. It was reasonable to think, was it not? Fire in the midst of an invasion. What little surprise that would be.
But there had been something wrong about it.
The glow of the fire was larger than that belonging to isolated targets. Perhaps to the east, where the primary battle was being fought, it was bound to happen, but north, from the infiltration team, it didn't sit right with me.
A mishap, I had counted on it being, believing it to be just that and nothing more as I allowed the team to divide, sending Gordez and the others North, wanting to believe that, if anything, they could contain the situation, help people, save them.
Then the artillery had fired, streaks of gold hurling across the sky, headed north, into the center of Shibi.
Even now, as I stood there, watching, horrified, as artillery continued to be fired into the heart of the town, I still was not capable of knowing what they were firing at. From what I could see, I could only deduce it to be everything and anything, no single target, only the intent of destruction.
No. I have to be wrong. There has to be a target.
We're in the dark. We have no idea what's happening.
What IS happening?!
I could only look on, the men at my side seemingly equally confused about what it was they were witnessing.
We need information. We need to know what is happening. Now!
I turn to the man at my right. An Earth Kingdom soldier, Raomi. I call his name, gaining his attention before I order, "Get to the guns. Find out what the hell they're firing at
"What? What do you mean?" He was confused. What the hell did I mean 'find out what they're firing at'? 'Why would we be firing at anything other than the enemy', he must have been wondering. Does he not get it? Does he not see the boulders falling indiscriminately, destroying all in their path, friend, and foe alike? "You heard me!" I repeated to him, solidifying my demand, leaving no room for confusion.
He would, however, regardless of the confusion, abide by my command and run off into territory we already held, directly towards the artillery line we had established. A safeguard against a Fire Nation counterattack. Is that what this was? Had they pushed back? Rendered friendly support necessary?
I needed to know. Needed to know more. "Keerick," I now yelled, turning to the Separatist who much of my training had been directed towards in particular, himself somehow having managed to prove himself to the point I trusted him now with this. "Get to the frontline, learn what's happening, and get back here immediately!"
"Yes, boss!"
And off he ran, leaving me alone now with what was left with my third of our team, a sizeable force, but just sitting here, defending fuel silos.
What the hell am I doing here? I wondered as I could only stand there, fists clenched, watching in the distance as Shibi still burned, those flames having grown, no doubt assisted by our own artillery now contributing to the chaos that seemed to be quickly growing.
What is happening in there? Are we winning, losing? Who's alive, who's dead? What in spirits' name is happening?
"Sir?" a soldier named Pinang, a timid fellow, asked from behind me. "What are our orders, sir?"
"Just-" I started, myself not even knowing what to order them to do. What was there, even?
"Just hold here for now. Defend the fuel silos."
Defend the fuel silos? What a damned joke. Defend them from what?
I couldn't see the reasoning. Nowhere else save for the sea wall and artillery emplacements was a force being left behind to act as defense. It didn't make sense.
Was it intentional, I wondered. Was I here for a reason that we were here, being held back?
What does Cholla know? I found myself wondering. Why would he put me here and not with my men? He trusts them, does he not? And he knows we've worked together for over a year now. So why am I not with them? What the hell is he doing?
I could only stand there and ask myself that same question for so long before the time continued to drag on, and the seconds began to feel like minutes, and the minutes like hours as artillery continued to rain above, and, in the distance, the fires grew larger, and larger, and larger.
The artillery continued still. Raomi isn't coming back, is he?
I thus found my hear leaping with joy when I finally saw Keerick once again, navigating his way through the maze of buildings, meeting me halfway as I myself rushed to meet him, just glad for the company, for the prospect of information, now matter how bad it may be.
And by the look on his face, it sure as hell was not good. Oh no. What's happening.
"Keerick," I called to snap him to attention, out of the half-daze he seemed to have been trapped by. "What's going on out there? Are our men being forced back?!"
"No," he coughed violently, myself realizing now he was covered in soot and even fresh blood. What the hell is going on out there? "We-we're pushing the Fire Nation back, but-but some of the soldiers, they're…turning…on civilians. They're killing everyone!"
What?
I asked just as much, and he struggled to try and reword what he had said until I found myself forced to stop him, me myself still trying to gain a grasp on the situation. "Who is?" I asked. "The Fire Nation?"
"No!" he screamed. "Ours! Earth Kingdom, Revanchists, Separatists! Some are, some aren't, I don't know!"
What the hell had he seen?
What the hell was happening?
I had to know.
The others of our defensive team had gathered around upon witnessing Keerick's returned, just as curious of what information he brought as anybody could reasonably be expected.
They all heard it. There was no doubt. Some craned their heads forward as though waiting to hear the correction, believing that what they heard couldn't have been true under any circumstances, but they would receive no such reassurances.
They all waited there, wanting to know what was happening, what this meant, just what in the name of the world was happening. I couldn't answer that, I knew. There was only one thing I could do—provide direction.
I turned, "We're moving out," I said, having exactly the expected effect-drawing the attention of all those present.
"Moving out?" a soldier asked. "Moving out where?"
"The front," I answered matter of factly, already beginning my march to the northeast. "We need to get there and get the situation in order. The invasion is counting on us." He can't have been right. There has to be more to it. Not after all of this. Not after all of these months of preparing for this moment is it all going to fall to senseless bloodlust now.
Some of the others began to fall in line, far more willingly than others. For some, it was obedience, respect, for others, fear of being left behind, Keerick among the latter group. Others still, however, stayed put.
I see it now, I thought. Why Cholla kept us here. Those he knew would never abide by such a thing, if that truly is what is occurring deep into Shibi.
The pieces, however, were beginning to come together in a fashion that was demoralizing to say the least, and every step we took deeper into Shibi, was another step closer we came to understanding the truth of what Keerick had said.
It started slowly, a fleeing civilian or two, stopping dead in their tracks at the sight of us to turn away instantly in run in the complete opposite direction.
Houses ablaze, demolished, seemingly done by stray artillery rounds. Stray, or hitting precisely where they were meant to?
And we kept on moving forward still, watching as chaos began to make its ugly face clear. Bodies lined across the street, executed, slaughtered en masse, not having possessed a single chance to run for their lives after fleeing their burning hovels.
So it's happening, isn't it? This is really it.
Deeper into Shibi we went, approaching the line, or what was left of it. It could no longer even be described as a frontline.
Sporadic brawls raged between Fire Nation and United Front soldiers, myself leading my men to intervene, to support our own.
And what a mistake that was.
A Fire Nation soldier forcing an earthbender to the ground. How he'd gained the edge, I could not tell, but we ended his brief moment of victory on the spot as one of my Separatists impaled him with a spearpoint, bringing him to the ground in the blink of an eye.
With a helping hand from the selfsame Separatist, the earthbender rose with a gracious nod. "Where is Kiu!?" I had asked of him, but he gave no answer, simply running off further to the east, to where the fighting seemed to be.
That's where he'll be, I knew. He was there. He had to be.
Deeper into the city we went, myself completely unaware that, behind me, less and less men remained. But still I carried on forward, realizing them what it was, my mind so set on what was exactly ahead that I failed to comprehend the hell raging around me.
To my left, a group of civilians, fleeing a burning home.
All I could get in was a single step forward before the ground itself shook, and they were suddenly removed from this plane of life by the slide of an earthen barrier towards them at an indiscernible speed, leaving only red mist in their wake. And just like that, they were gone, and not a few feet away, an earthbender. The earthbender. The one we had saved, now responsible for the deaths of 5 innocent civilians.
And that was all it took. The entire way here spent processing the possibility of it, and now…now it was the past all over again. I'd done it before, protected those worth protecting, and I would do it again, without hesitation. To think he'd attempted greeting us as we approached, only to be met with my sword directly into his chest, my hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer to me as the blade sunk deeper within him.
The others stopped behind me. I turned around, removing my blade from the carcass of the man I'd killed, the ally I'd killed, seeing now their faces as they watched—horrified, confused, everything suddenly thrown entirely out of proportion.
Who are we fighting? What is happening? Why is this happening?
Questions that were no use answering anymore. I recognized it all too well. Ba Sing Se, the Southern Raiders before then, Jianghe, and by the accounts of the others, Jingping. What war did, what war turned one into.
I turned to watch the earthbender as he sunk to his knees, a luck of confusion in his eyes, the hatred gone, only pain in its place. His knees gave out from under him, and so he fell, consumed by the war, by the horror, but it all.
This is why we fight. This is what we fight.
"Find Kiu!" I yelled to the others. "And protect the civilians!"
And so those were my orders, as I sent a crowd of horrified, confused, soldiers into battle, with me at their head, and lacking anything else in that moment, they followed, directly into the pits of hell, into what had been a battleground only a few minutes ago, but was now a slaughterhouse of fire, corpses, falling explosions, flying debris, and never-ceasing projectiles of earth, water, and fire all at once, a battle royale, chaos.
And so we entered into that selfsame hell, flames dancing around us as our ever-dwindling party fought through the flames of Shibi.
And so all discrimination was lost on that field so far as we were concerned. If it meant defending ourselves of attempting to save whatever civilian we could, we could through Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, Revanchist, and Separatist alike, the difference inconsequential so far as any of us were concerned.
The Fire Nation was retreating, we could all see, further north. We knew what waited there, the town capital building—their last line of defense.
The occasional soldier pursued, still intent on fighting this war rather than participate in the far more popular genocide. From where it had originated, it was impossible to know, but I'd seen battlefields descend to such chaos before.
It mattered little where it began. Once it had, it spread like wildfire, and unless the wildfire was extinguished root and stem, it would only rage further.
But we couldn't do it alone.
We had to find Kiu. And soon.
Assuming he's still alive.
It was more than a likely possibility that, in the chaos of it all, his life had already been lost, but I had to believe. I had to believe he yet lived.
The fighting raged on, if even it could be called fighting anymore, hardly any order to the pandemonium that dominated the field. Scattered groups still fought, be them Fire Nation, United Front, civilians fending for their lives, or, something different, across the road now, we saw.
Waterbenders, earthbenders, and firebenders all alike, accompanied by archers and infantry in attire of all factions present, guarding the entrance of a housing complex that, upon first glance, immediately reminded me of Luke's description of the Hornet's Hive of the Citadel Slums, only far more well-maintained. Well, perhaps not anymore given the hell that surrounded us all.
Those they were holding back, however, were not Fire Nation, but our own. And I saw what it was then-the briefest glimpse inside, of civilians massed with one another, cowering in fear. These people were defending the civilians.
And so that's where we found ourselves only moments later, arms raised, pleading our case that we were on their side, the defenders themselves seemingly just as maddened as the psychopaths slaughtering civilians, but enraged by their desperation to defend them rather against those they had considered allies just earlier this night.
It was only be the intervention of a man we all recognized, not Kiu, but Chief Karnook, that we were enabled to enter within. "Get the hell inside, now!"
None of us hesitated to follow suit, him quickly ordering his men to guard the entrance once again immediately after we'd passed, asking us as we entered, "What the hell is this? What has the Earth Kingdom done?"
"I don't know," I let out, myself still out of breath from the calamity of just trying to get here. "What are you doing here?" I asked then.
"Getting these people out of the way of the rest of the psychopaths. Least I can do in this war that isn't mine anymore, damnit."
"Is Kiu here?" I asked, almost afraid to bring up his name for fear of how Karnook might presently be inclined to feel towards the leader of the Separatists that seemed now to have been a key part of the horror transpiring here.
Karnook was silent for a moment, looking at me, into my eyes, as though discerning just what business of mine it was until he sighed, saying, "He's in the back. Good luck getting a word out of him. Poor man's broken."
Broken, I wondered, instantly fearing what it was I would witness should I go any further. But I had to, moving forward along with the others, and so we then bore witness to just what it was they were protecting—hundreds of civilians on the brink of death, being tended to by a combined effort of soldier of all nationalities as well as civilians.
We passed through in what would have been silence were it not for the wounded, combatant and non-combatants alike, begging for their mothers, their families, for death, whatever would end the pain sooner.
Not a word was exchanged between those of differing factions here. It mattered to none. Not in this moment of desperation and horror. Nobody could care less any more what colors they wore.
Past the wounded, deeper into the housing unit, an eerie silence took hold, the sky filled with the white noise of fire cackling in the not-so-distant distance, approaching ever closer by the second.
Near the rear of the building cluster, however, the man I looked for, and now finally found—Kiu, sat motionless, his eyes glazed over, in shock by the look of it.
The others I had arrived with, their numbers having fallen so far in just the few minutes we'd been out in the open, be them dead now, reduced to animalism, or anything in between, had stayed near the entrance, assisting Karnook with the defense.
Upon entering, we had of course asked if Kiu was present, and he'd nodded in the affirmative, but there had been no relief behind it. Now I understood why?
For the first time in all these months of fighting beside him, he actually looked his age, weathered, feeble, near the end of it all.
"Kiu?" I asked in an effort to gain his attention, approaching him where he sat.
His eyes turned up to meet mine, at the very least a flash of recognition passing over him. "It's you," he said. "Are you…like the others, or…no, of course not, I'm sorry. You wouldn't do this, you-"
"Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy. It's alright. More came with me. We can do something about this. We can fix this."
"What do you mean? Fix what? We won." He was legitimately speaking, no sarcasm or metaphor. He really believed it was over. "The Fire Nation forces are dead," he said. "We took Shibi. It's over."
Did he not see what was happening outside of this very building? How thousands were being slaughtered? Was he blind, ignorant, or did he just not care? No, it couldn't be that. Couldn't be.
"Kiu. It's not over. Hundreds, thousands are being killed out there. By us. By our own people."
"It's war. You should know that better than anyone. You were at Ba Sing Se. You saw what your people did to mine. This is…this is just how it is. I tried fighting it before, but…I was wrong. I thought I knew how to win, but I never did. He did. He does"
Cholla. Was he talking about Cholla? What the hell had happened?
"Kiu. What happened here. We were winning, we had them on the run!"
"He tore them apart from the inside. He sent Jet, the others, my boys, he sent them to kill, to burn, to bring chaos. And they did. Spirits bless them, they did. They did what they could for their country. And, it spread, the Fire Nation fought back, and so…so did we, but…why isn't it over?"
"Because we're fighting."
"Fighting? But, the Fire Nation surrendered. They lost almost everyone. Why…why are we still fighting? Who are we fighting?"
"Each other, Kiu. Your people are outside right now. They're defending the civilians. They're stopping this madness."
"That's-that's what it is? We're killing each other. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no." He attempted to rise to a stand, leaving the sitting position he was in, revealing then the splatter of blood that caked his lower abdomen. He'd been hit. The bleeding looked to have stopped, but notwithstanding, there was a lot of it. He stumbled, nearly falling, only saved by my effort to maneuver myself under him and hold him up by the shoulder. "We need to stop. We can't…we can't be killing each other like this."
"Kiu!" I yelled, forcing his attention back to me. "We need to fight!"
"Fight? No, no no no. It's over. We need to stop fighting, not continue it. Our people-"
"Are slaughtering the others outside. Is this what we came here to do!"
Only silence.
"Answer me, Kiu. Damnit! Why are we here!? Why are we doing any of this!?"
"To…to free the Nip Sea. To free them from the Fire Nation."
"Look outside. Shibi is in flames. Our people are killing those who live here by the thousands. We've won, it's over, and people are still being killed. Is this freedom, Kiu?! Is it?!"
"I-I-"
"Why the hell are you fighting?! What are you fighting for?! For this sadism?"
"What? No. No, of course not."
"For the Earth Kingdom to become just another invader?!"
"No. I-"
"So what are you fighting for?!"
"I'm fighting for my people!"
And in the wake of his exclamation, a new silence settled in. Off in the distance, the roaring of the flames persisted, and screams echoed off, individually drowned out by the hundreds of others around them.
So he gets it.
I nodded. "This isn't about war, Kiu. This is about people. Those who can't defend themselves. We need to help them. We need to help them now. Do you understand?"
He looked up to me, his eyes finally taking on a new layer of understanding. He nodded his head to me. "We need to help them. We need to protect these people." He echoed, though not as though he was in a trance, but rather, as though he finally understood. We had to fix this. We would fix this.
He rose to his feet, pulling me up more now rather than the reverse. "The Fire Nation," he said. "What's left of them, they're retreating to their capital building. It's fortified and fireproof. We can bring these civilians there. We're not safe here."
"What about the ships?" I asked. "We should try to get them out of here."
"Cholla has the ships guarded. He…he orchestrated this. He wants Shibi to burn. For Jingping.
Cholla. What in sprits' name had you done?
I couldn't put my finger on it. Why? Why had he done this? What was the value? We were going to take Shibi, hold it. No. That was never his plan, was it? Fire Nation on the sea to the south, the land to the North, did he not believe he could hold Shibi? Is that what this was? A new campaign? One founded upon this degree of mindless death and destruction? Scorched earth? Leave nothing left.
Mindless? No, not mindless. This wasn't just mere happenstance. Wasn't just coincidence, the changing of the tide of the minds of those present. Perhaps the fire of this rage had spread on its own accord, but where it had begun, I now knew. Cholla. So this was your plan, huh? Your 'new war.'
The enemy, once again, had changed. When had war stopped being so simple? I believed I had once understood it. Years ago. Now, however, now it seemed to grow all the more complicated by the minute.
But there was one thing that would always remain known to me, however complicated it grew. 'Right' or 'wrong'. For many, those lines had become blurred to the point that they no longer existed, and I couldn't blame them. A war such as this, it happened every day, but I had drawn my line in the sand all those years ago after the Southern Raiders, and from then on, I had known where I stood.
That, I knew, would never change.
"I'll gather the others," I said, leaving him there for the moment.
He would come, I knew, and together, we could make this work, could still salvage what was left. As far as I was concerned, this battle was already lost. What we would do now, it would not be for any war, for any one side.
I thought I had been doing that for the last year, but even I had failed in that regard. Taking one contract from another, acting like mercenaries, that wasn't who we were. Wasn't who we were meant to be. Today, that finally changed.
I was done being a pawn.
Today, I would finally, and truly be, a soldier.