Chapter 94: Pirates Vs Zombies (Part 2)

Chapter 98:

Pirates vs. Zombies (part 2)

Recap:

Earlier fights:

Merry purified Kumashi, scoring her first win with the showing of her rope-based style Rigging Art, while Usopp pulled off his Canon defeat of Perona.

Gin and Amy found Torihon and Iro, the zombies with Coby and Grace's shadows, allowing Amy to finally admit that Coby was worthy of Grace if he could just say something. Gin, in a moment of desperation, learned how to convert his entire body into electricity.

Zoro and Robin

"HELL NO!" Zoro and Lola yelled in tandem while Robin looked shocked. "YOU ARE NOT MARRYING ROBIN/THAT WOMAN!"

"I will!" Absalom declared with a smirk. "That is, if you don't defeat them, Lola."

"...RAAAAAAGHHHHH!"

With all the rage of a woman scorned, the warthog-zombie charged at the pair of the pirates, her target the black-haired woman. Lola appeared before Robin with more speed than anything her size had any right to have, both of her swords raised to cut the woman down the middle. Zoro materialized between them, all three of his own swords raised to defend.

The five blades clashed with a shockwave, the unreal force of the marriage-obsessed, undead warthog/woman attempting to overpower the strength of the green-haired, three-sword-wielding pirate swordsman.

"Stay away from my Master Ab!" Lola ordered, shoving her blades downward as hard as she could. Zoro barely moved, holding the undead at bay. "You will not take my Master Ab from me!"

"We aren't trying to," Zoro grunted, pulling his blades apart and causing Lola to stumble. He rushed in, but Lola quickly recovered, blocking both of Zoro's horizontal slashes. The ground behind her was plowed by the resulting force.

"Bride Fu!" Lola yelled, pulling her swords back for another strike. "Dance of the Bridesmaids!" Beginning with a downward slash from her right sword, the zombie moved into a combination of slashes and stabs, each of which Zoro blocked or parried.

"Dragon Twister!" the pirate countered, spinning up a whirlwind that pushed the undead back. With twin yells, Zoro and Lola charged each other.

Only half watching the battle, Robin glanced to either side as Absalom's breathing echoed through the clearing, but only because she knew it was there. Had she not known, Robin didn't believe she would have heard it at all. Spinning to her right, the archeologist materialized two extra hands around her normal one, all three backhanding the invisible face of the pervert. Absalom stumbled backward, the short yet uncut grass depressing beneath his feet.

"Come now, my darling," the clear-man said in what he'd apparently meant to be a smooth, suave voice, his body fading into the visible spectrum. "Your small band of pirates will surely parish before the might of Thriller Bark. Spare yourself and join me!"

"I'll pass," Robin responded. "This 'small band of pirates' fought the world itself for my sake and won. I doubt that they'll lose to only a single Warlord."

"So be it. If I must kidnap you, then I must, but you will join me one way or another. Skating!" Once more, Absalom became invisible, putting Robin on her guard. Absalom growled, the noise everywhere and nowhere at the same time. "Now you will know the fear of facing an opponent who you can't see! Deceased Ha-Oof!"

Whatever attack Absalom was about to use was cut off by a flying Lola tackling his invisible form, but this time not of her own volition. Zoro stepped up to stand beside the woman, eyeing the tangled knot of man and undead.

"Goda dammit, Lola! Stop getting in my way!"

"I'm sorry, Master Ab!"

"Aren't these two just a real comedy act?" Zoro asked, tapping Wado Ichimonji on his shoulder.

"Indeed," Robin giggled. "I think they look cute together."

Lola froze, an audible heartbeat thumping through her very being at Robin's words. In an instant, she was before the pirate woman, but this time holding Robin's hands in her hooves.

"You really think so?" the zombie asked, unshed tears building in her eyes.

"Oh yes," Robin responded. "I've no interest in a man I've just met. You can have him all to yourself."

"Thank you!" Lola sniffed. "All this time and no one's ever encouraged me... Thank you!"

"What are you waiting for?" Zoro chuckled, playing along. "Go get him."

"Of course!" Spinning around, Lola charged at the clear-man and puckered her lips. "Come here, Babycakes!"

"Don't do it, Lola!" the living man warned. "Don't you dare- OHSHITNO!" Absalom jumped and rolled, barely avoiding the barrage of deadly kisses Lola left in his wake, the zombie's lips leaving imprints in the dirt where the member of the Mysterious Four had been. "Lola, I'm getting damn tired of this! If you don't stop, I'll blow you to Hell before killing these pirates!"

"Master Ab, why would you say such a thing?" Lola cried. "Just marry me already and I'd 'blow you to Hell' anytime you wanted!"

"Did she just...?" Zoro muttered, turning green.

"She did," Robin affirmed, her features schooled.

"I'm tired of this, Lola!" Absalom growled, raising his hands and pointing them at the zombie. Lola slowed to a stop, shocked surprise on her face.

"Master Ab-?"

"Deceased Hands!" Any sound Lola made was lost in the explosion that engulfed the undead, filling the surrounding area in smoke. A breeze blew through the clearing from behind the surprised pirates, blowing away the dust and smoke to reveal a burnt and ash-covered Lola unmoving on the ground.

"What a nuisance," Absalom grunted, strutting over to the downed corpse as he shed his jacket to reveal his scar-covered and mismatched torso, the flesh various colors from where muscles of different origins had been stitched together. Lifting one of Lola's katana once he got there, Absalom turned back toward Zoro and Robin, Lola's sword raised before him. "I'm not much of a swordsman, but I know enough to be effective and a weapon's a weapon. Well? What are you two waiting for?"

"...You're despicable," Zoro muttered. "You seem strong, I'll give you that, but you're going to wish you never met our crew."

"Not to mention," Robin added in a frigid tone, her fingers twitching, "you attempted to marry our captain's wife. If there's one thing we of the Straw Hats defend most, it's our Nakama."

"Yes, I can see how that wouldn't have worked," the clear-man admitted. "Obviously, I should have killed you all before trying to court her while she wallowed in grief."

"Robin," the green-haired man scowled. "Cover me. I'm going to slice this guy to pieces." Bending low, Zoro took off toward their opponent, forgoing the use of his bandana because there was no way in Hell he was going to show respect to a bastard like Absalom.

"Once Fleur: Hold."

Absalom grunted in surprise as eleven arms bloomed into existence around his body, ten of them pinning his arms to his sides and the last clamping his mussel shut. He growled, his legs tensing as the true swordsman got closer. Just as Zoro was swinging his swords with a cry of "Demon Slash!", Absalom jumped. The muscles in his legs, stolen from some poor member of the Long-Leg Tribe who had wandered onto Thriller Bark about a year and a half ago, pushed the clear-man up and over the pirate's swords. Though he couldn't talk, he flexed his arms to activate the invisible guns there.

The mini cannonballs almost caught Zoro, the pirate barely twisting his head in time for Wado Ichimonji to cut through the projectiles which exploded, hiding him in a cloud of smoke just as Absalom landed.

"And Snap!" Robin ordered, clinching her hands into fists as the arms she had on the cat-man bent him backwards. Absalom's feet stayed planted on the ground and his hat was knocked off as the roots of his hair touched dirt, but there was no cracking like the archeologist had expected.

"Foolish girl!" Absalom barked, trying to bite the hand around his mouth. Robin grunted as her hand dissipated, two puncture wounds appearing on her right hand. "I've been remade with only the best parts of all the enemies I've killed over the years! You won't break me with a pathetic yoga twist!"

"Then I'll dissect you!" Zoro declared, rushing out of the smoke cloud. "Brave Claws of the Demon Cow!" Jumping into half of a spinning back flip, Absalom just avoided Zoro's slashes, his own stolen sword coming around on route to the pirate's face despite the hilt still being pressed into his side. Robin pulled with a grunt, moving the man's arm and redirecting the sword so that it only scratched Zoro's cheek.

"Skating!" the mismatched man called, light bending around him as he faded out of view. "Good luck hitting something you can't see!"

Zoro and Robin froze, glanced around as if that would help them find the invisible pervert. Closing his eyes, the swordsman slowed his breathing and listened to his surroundings.

The leaves on the trees rustled in the wind.

The water bubbled in the stream.

The grass rippled underfoot.

Lola's sword, the one on the ground, cried at the absence of its twin.

Its twin screamed as it passed through the air right in front of him.

Kitetsu III and Shusui came up with no time to spare, the clang of metal-on-metal resounding through the clearing. Shocked, the clear-man became visible, Robin's arms still pinning his own and his stolen sword straining against both of Zoro's hand-held blades.

"How?"

"You aren't a swordsman," Zoro answered with a smirk. "You don't know the language of blades. A true swordsman an cut everything," -Zoro twisted to the left, his dual swords sweeping toward his opponent's side where they cut into him and lodged there, Robin's arms unharmed,- "and nothing at the same time."

Growling, Absalom strained against the arms holding him, throwing them off and breaking Robin's concentration. Grabbing Kitetsu and Shusui's blades with his right hand, Absalom ripped them out of his side and wrenched them from Zoro's grip, disregarding the bleeding of his fingers. Pulled off balance, Zoro stumbled into the powerful kick to his chin that launched him backwards. The Straw Hat First Mate coughed blood from his landing over a dozen feet away.

"Damn," Zoro coughed. "I need to stop losing my swords."

"You can have this!" Absalom yelled, throwing Lola's stolen sword first. The blade rushed toward Robin, surprising her since he'd been targeting Zoro. The swordsman moved to intercept, but this proved to be unnecessary when Robin grew two arms, one on the other, which caught the blade by the handle and redirected its momentum into the ground.

"Grrr," the cat-man growled, throwing Zoro's swords off to the side. "Why do you pirates have to be so damn stubborn?"

"You're not a symbol of agreement, either," Zoro bit out.

"Oh yeah, well-!" Absalom's words died in his throat, giving way to a pathetic squeak. The leg Robin had materialized only inches behind the man dispersed from where it had forcefully extended itself, leaving room for the man's own legs to come together in an attempt to not allow any more harm come to his abused area. The pervert fell to his knees before crumbling over on his side, his hands moving down to offer another layer of too-late protection.

"As I thought," Robin said without a hint of remorse.

"What did you do?" Zoro balked, staring at the crying mess that had been their enemy.

"He said he had been remade with only the best parts of his opponents," Robin offered. "I assumed he would consider sensitivity to be a positive trait for certain areas and would have had said areas 'fixed'. I was right."

"So basically," the swordsman blinked, "you kicked him in the junk on the off chance that he would be more sensitive than the average person?"

"Yes."

"...So," Zoro coughed, edging away from the woman to retrieve his swords. "Are we going to kill him?"

"He's a terrible, rotten pig," Robin growled, her tone of voice adding a shiver to Absalom's pained trembling, "but at this point it would be against Captain's rules. This isn't a fight anymore, even if he threatened to kill us all."

"In that case," trudging over to the wounded Cronenburg of animal and man, Zoro slammed his boot into Absalom's muzzle, breaking it with a crunch and sending the pained man into the sweet release of unconsciousness. Broken teeth and blood pooled around the face of the man, but he kept breathing.

"Was that not against your morals, Mr. Swordsman?" Robin asked, walking up to stand beside the first mate.

"With a man like that? No." He sighed. "Damn, I wish Luffy was fine with murder." He paused, catching Robin's eyes. "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, just that we showed this bastard a crippling weakness of his." Her voice was flat with a hint of faux sincerity. "Why don't we help him now by removing said weakness?"

Absalom's broken and unconscious form whimpered.

Zoro and Robin vs. Absalom and Lola

Winners: Zoro and Robin

Franky and Chopper

"Coo!" the zombie cooed, lunging forward. In response, Franky grabbed Chopper and rolled to the side, leaving the floor to take the high-velocity tonfa. The fight had begun.

"Coo," the bird-zombie growled, its eyes narrowing at the cyborg and reindeer as it rose unsteadily. Franky and Chopper each took an involuntary step back from the menacing avian glare, an aura unlike anything they had ever felt before permeating the air around them.

"W-What is this?" Franky shivered. "I thought that thing had Devil-Bro's shadow!"

"Merry said it does!" Chopper responded. "But I've never felt anything like this from Gin!"

"Cookukuku," the zombie chuckled darkly, somehow laughing with a pigeon's voice box. The zombie's eyes widened, gleaming madly as the faintest wisp of a grin appeared from the beak. "Cooookukuku!"

"T-There's no way that's Devil-Bro's shadow."

"Coo!" The zombie lunged, its tonfa swinging madly to try to behead its pirate adversaries.

"Star Shield!" Franky moved instantly, throwing his metal arms out to either side so the zombie's weapons hit his forearms with a clang. Idly, Franky was glad he had lost all of the nerve endings in his arms when he had been forced to rebuild himself because if he hadn't, that hit would've hurt like a bitch.

"Heavy Gong!" Chopper's Heavy Point grew out from under Franky, a large fist already on course to impact the face of the zombie. There was a crunch as Gin's zombie was thrown backwards, chips of its beak breaking off as small cracks crisscrossed over it. The undead, however, didn't seem to care. If anything, it seemed to like the damage.

The beak of the pigeon-man opened in what was most definitely a smirk, a set of straight, white teeth gleaming in the moonlight. Its eyes gave off a clear message.

"More."

The undead threw itself upward, stumbling a few steps forward before almost blurring out of sight in a mad, unsteady dash toward Franky and Chopper.

"Reindeer-Bro," Franky said, raising his fists into a boxing stance, "you can find its weak spot or something, right? I'll hold it off long enough. Strong Right!" Franky's right arm shot forward, disconnecting from his arm save for a chain of metal to speed toward the zombie. The pigeon-man didn't so much as slow, one tonfa coming up to bat the oncoming fist to the side. Franky smirked, his other arm coming up and separating at the wrist.

"Weapons Left!" An explosive shot from the hole, catching the zombie in the gut and blasting it back the way it had come where it smashed into the wall. The thing's right arm was bent the wrong way at the elbow.

"That's not it," Chopper muttered. "The joints aren't the weak spot."

"Cookukuku," the undead giggled, grabbing its right arm and twisting it back into place with a sickening crack. The thing rose again, wobbling to and fro as it giggled madly. Suddenly, it stopped, frozen in place with neither finger or feather so much as twitching. That was, until it started shaking uncontrollably, every single feather on its upper body standing on end and a strange glow forcing its way out of the cracks in its beak.

"That doesn't look good!" Franky yelled as the bird-zombie opened its mouth, revealing more of the light. The cyborg grabbed Chopper and dove to the side just it time.

They managed to just avoid the laser Gin's zombie fired from its mouth, said laser incinerating a clean hole through the wall behind where they'd just been. And the wall behind it.

"What the Hell was that?!" Franky demanded, releasing Chopper. Franky's hair style was a mess, each hair sticking out as if he were some stereotypical mad scientist. As bad as the cyborg looked, Chopper was worse off, every bit of fur on him puffed out as if he were in a miniature Guard Point.

"Static electricity," Chopper noted aloud, trying to flatten his fur and eyeing their enemy as it stumbled around as if disoriented. "It must be a side effect of Gin being a Logia. The body can't control lightning, but the shadow can. But that doesn't make any sense. Gin doesn't fight like that!"

"We'll just have to ask him when we see him, Bro," Franky stated. "We've gotta beat this bird brain first."

"R-Right," Chopper stuttered, stepping behind the large cyborg. "Scope."

"Hey, pigeon!" the cyborg yelled, getting the undead to turn toward him. "Let's see how you handle this! Fresh Fire!" A ball of flame blasted from Franky's mouth, hurtling through the air toward Gin's zombie. The undead instinctively brought its arms up to block, dispersing most of the flames, but the act had the adverse effect of catching both of the undead pigeon-man zombie's tonfa on fire.

"Coo?" the pigeon seemed to question, shaking its arms. The fire slowly dwindled as the bandages around its hands and wrists burned away, leaving the tonfa to sustain the flames.

"Reindeer-Bro!" Franky called. "Please tell me you've got something, 'cause I'm oh-for-two with the fire!"

"I've got it!"

"Thank Goda!"

"Coo!" The zombie charged in, both of its flaming tonfa up for an overhead strike. Franky reacted quickly, his right hand coming up in an attempt to stuff out the flaming weapons. Unfortunately for him, his fire was too strong to go out when it had a ready source of nutrients. The flesh-like covering of his hand began bubbling, melting away into a puddle of goo and leaving his metal hand exposed. The zombie cocked its bird head to the side, staring at both the metal and the puddle questioningly.

"Go for the stitches!" Chopper yelled. "Right where the feathers start!"

"Weapons Left!" Franky shouted, a miniature explosion appearing between the cyborg and the zombie. The undead coughed blood, its chest caving as it was blasted backwards and its tonfa ripped from its hands. Once again, the zombie crashed into the wall.

"The strength and cellular structure of the human body and bird head are different," Chopper explained, trotting up to stand beside the cyborg in his Walk Point. "The stitches are where the different muscles touch, but it's probably where the spines are fused together that is the real weak point."

"Coo," the bird growled, its aura of darkness seeming to pulse outward. Chopper and Franky shivered unconsciously, but did not back down.

"I say we break this thing in half," Franky suggested. "Get the salt ready." Chopper nodded as the cyborg charged forward, his right arm cocked. "Strong Hammer!" Again, Franky's forearm disconnected, launching toward the zombie. Said zombie brought its arms up in a cross block, halting the attack, but not without the sound of groaning bone and a couple cracks. The shipwright smirked, grabbing his chain and spinning around. The zombie stood, but that was all the time it had before the iron fist returned, smashing into its side. "Strong Hitter!"

The undead bird-man spit up red as it flew through the air, only for it to twist itself to land on its feet. Its movements were labored now, the body moving slightly out-of-sync with the head.

"This is our chance, Franky!" Chopper yelled, rushing by in his Walk Point. The zombie tried to react as Chopper lowered his head so he was leading with his horns, but its arms didn't seem to want to respond. Flinging itself to the side, the zombie was lucky enough that it only caught one of the points of Chopper's horns in the side, the momentum spinning them in a circle. Bringing up its arms, the zombie prepared to smash the reindeer's head in.

"No you don't," Franky admonished, grabbing the zombie's arms and pulling them back. Opening its beak, the thing tried to fire off another laser.

Chopper acted faster, stuffing a clump of salt into its open maw. The zombie gagged, trying to spit up the lump even as the built-up energy dispersed around it. With a final dark pulse, the shadow forcefully ejected itself from the host to fly off into the night. The broken hallway was still, neither Franky or Chopper moving as the soulless body slumped in the cyborg's grip.

"...So, uh..." Franky began, dropping the body which flopped uselessly. "Are we going to ask Devil-Bro about that feeling or leave it alone?"

"I don't know," the doctor answered, bending down to examine the corpse and losing sight of the cyborg. "For all we know, it may have been a part of either the bird or the person the zombie was made of. What do you think, Franky?"

"..."

"Franky?" Chopper turned back toward where the super pirate had been, but he was not there. Spinning around, the only evidence the reindeer found of his missing friend was a small bit of silk on the floor.

Spider silk...

Franky and Chopper vs Gin's zombie, Tesla

Winners: Franky and Chopper (maybe?)

End of Chapter 98

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-SwordOfTheGods