Chapter 113: Gorilla Warfare

I'm not sorry for all the puns.

Chapter 117:

Gorilla Warfare

"Yohohoho!" Brook laughed, dancing through ranks of enemy pirates. Bullets and swords tore at his suit, but no damage marred his flesh... because he didn't have any! Even so, these poor pirates were no match for the four Straw Hats that stood their ground in what had been the meeting room.

"Thunder Wave!" Gin yelled, crashing his tonfa together. The resulting pressure wave was (as Franky would've put it) super effective, charged with electricity, paralyzing more than a dozen pirates that had charged him.

"Rubble Bullets!" Amy cried, covering the man's back. The rubble she had picked up and thrown absorbed the air around it, gaining 150 kilograms before impacting a trio of pirates like buckshot, throwing them across the room.

"You don't need to cover my back," Gin reminded her, only half focusing on the woman whose sword he blocked. "Attacks go right through me."

Amy placed herself back-to-back with the Logia, facing away so he couldn't see her red face. "What, I can't protect my crewmate, now?" she questioned, opening her parasol to block a barrage of gunshots. "Dense Shield!"

"Th-That's not what I said at all!" Pushing the blocked sword up, the Electric Devil bashed his opponent in the side with his gold-plated weapons. "Don't put words in my mouth!"

"Yeah," Merry agreed, an unconscious mook trapped in her rope having become an improvised flail. "Just put your tongue in it and save us all the drama!"

"Merry!" the two yelled. A bullet passed through Gin's face, but he was too shocked to notice.

"BAAHAHAHA!"

"Yohohoho!" Brook laughed, cutting his way back over. "Shall I play a ballad for you two? Maybe 'Here Comes the Bride'?" he asked, aiming an invisible wink at the female of the pair.

"I think you should start a funeral dirge," a new voice commented. The few low-level pirates that remained parted for a trio, two men and a woman. Their presence outshown any of their previous enemies that night. The man who spoke was bald, scars littering his skin. Muscle bulged from under his suit and a battleax poked out from behind his back.

"And who are you?" Amy asked, using the tip of her parasol to carve a trench in the floor as a show of power.

"We're your opponents," the woman rumbled. She was heavyset in a pink dress. The word LOVE was tattooed across her forehead with the O X'ed out. Framing this and her rough face spilled curly, purple hair. In her hand she brandished a giant warhammer. "They call me Hammerfall Guarin. I've got a bounty of 45 million."

"She speaks the truth," the other man smiled, holding a rose up to his lips. He was incredibly handsome with wavy, light-blue hair and emerald eyes. His suit was a fashionable red-and-black tuxedo with long coattails. He bowed with a flourish and a wink. "Please, the Marines call me Razor Petal Hanabira. My sharp wit has earned me a bounty of 61 million."

"And I'm Minos the Raging Bull," the first man said, the top half of his body shifting into a black bull with massive arms and deadly horns. "40 million."

"OH, OH! Can I do our introductions?" Merry asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Pleeeease?"

"Sure, whatever," Gin waved off.

"Yes," Merry cheered before striking a pose with two fingers held up in a V. "First off, I'm Ghost Ship Going Merry worth 15 million! The skeleton behind me is the Humming Swordsman Brook worth 33 million! The beautiful blonde you see is worth 28 million to the Government, miss Weightless Woman Amy! And the big man of the room, in more ways than one~"

"Merry!" Gin flushed. "What the Hell?!"

"-is our very own Electric Devil Gin with a bounty of 100 million!" she finished. "And Gin, I know everything about everyone from before Enies Lobby. For instance, I know that Amy keeps a vi-"

"Shut your mouth or I'll shut it permanently," the blonde growled, grabbing the Klabautermann before she could react.

"Besides the Logia, this'll be a piece of cake," Guarin chuckled. "I'll take the squirt and the skeleton. Minos, get the girl. Hanabira, get baggy eyes. We'll join you when we finish."

"You sound pretty confident," Gin stated, sparks crackling over his tonfa. "Let's show these bastards why we're going to be the crew of the Pirate King!"

"MOOOO!" Minos roared, charging the group. They jumped, separating to avoid the Zoan while Gin shot at him with finger guns. The condensed lightning bullets bounced off the bull's tough skin as he skidded to a stop, turned, and charged Amy.

"Razor Petals!" Gin jumped instinctively as rigid rose petals stabbed into the ground where he had been standing. He looked up to see Hanabira approaching him, his rose looking much more solid. "I shall be your foe. Let us see if you can overcome the powers of my Sharp-Sharp Fruit!"

"Yohoho!" Brook chuckled, taking a battle stance. "That leaves us, mademoiselle."

"We're gonna kick your ass!" Merry rushed the woman who swung her hammer. Merry smirked as the weapon reached her, destabilizing into her Heart just as the weapon hit. For all intents, it appeared as if the hammer went through her head before the Klabautermann reformed. "Battering Ram!"

Merry's smirk died slowly as she registered pain from her horns. It felt like she had headbutted a brick wall. A hand grabbed one of her horns, lifting the girl up until she was eye-to-eye with the woman.

"I'll finish you off first, annoying brat."

"Adubade Right-Hand Strike!" Brook cut in, his flying stab forcing Guarin to release his youngest crewmate. "You need to be more careful than that, Merry. Do try to bring out more Robin next time."

"Sorry, Brook," the Klabautermann muttered sheepishly. She turned back to their opponent, her entire countenance shifting. Copying Chopper, Merry brought her hands up so she could see Guarin through her pointer fingers and thumbs. "Analyze."

"Yohoho! Have at thee!" Brook launched forward, his cane-sword being intercepted by the woman's hammer before it could reach her neck.

"You're strong for having no muscle," she grunted, shoving his sword away. Brook stepped back, the wind from her weapon sending his afro into a frenzy. "Bone Crush!"

"Oh my!" The skeleton jumped, dodging her powerful swings with his lighter form. "That should could knock the breath out of me... if I had to breathe! Yohoho! Skull joke!"

"Her style focuses mostly on offence," Merry muttered to herself, "but her weapon's pole has plenty of scratches from defense. It's almost overbalanced, but she counters that with her thick skin. The best way to counter her would be to tie her up so she can't use her strength or cut her ligaments so she can't move." Taking a breath, Merry jumped backward as Minos tried to steamroll her.

"Your fight is with me, bullshit!" Amy yelled, flying past Merry in the Bull Zoan's wake. "5,000 kilogram Kick!"

"Get 'im, Amy!" Merry cheered before charging Guarin as she caught Brook in the sternum. She launched the musician away as Merry fell into a baseball skid, sliding under her while weaving rope around her ankles. Grabbing the ropes so they would pull taught, the ship-girl reversed her momentum into a kick to the woman's head. The pirate captain tried to stumble, but it was a vain attempt with her feet being yanked the other way. "Timber!"

"Cheeky bra-!" Hammerfall Gaurin hit the matted floor with a thump. Grabbing her weapon and pulling her legs up, the pirate twisted, smacking Merry before she could react. Brook snatched the Klabautermann out of the air, spinning her momentum away.

"Dammit, that's becoming a habit," the girl frowned.

"Yohoho, then you need to stop getting thrown."

"It's not my fault I'm small!"

"Why don't we attack together, Merry?" Brook offered as Gaurin tore apart the ropes holding her. "She's dangerous to us alone. Her last attack knocked me out of my body, literally! I'll take the right, you take the left."

"Works for me." As one unit, Merry and Brook moved to form a pincer maneuver. "Woven Whips!"

"Gavotte Leap Forward!"

"Thorn Throw!" Merry and Brook cut off their attacks as massive thorns missed them by a hair's breadth. Gin materialized next to them, blood leaking from a wound hidden in his hair. His opponent, Hanabira, landed next to Guarin soundlessly, a rubber sword as sharp as a real one in hand.

"How are you faring, Lady Guarin?" the sharpening-man asked, flicking Gin's blood from the sword.

"Fuckin' peachy," she grunted, the two of them the antithesis of each other.

"You ok, Gin?" Merry questioned.

"I've had worse," he answered, "though not since eating my Fruit."

"As you can see," Hanabira bragged, running a finger along the flat of his blade with the sound of a whetstone, "my powers allow me to sharpen anything into a fine point or blade. My study of such weapons has been extensive. Uncouth bludgeoning weapons are simply no match against me."

"Who you calling uncouth, bastard," his female ally growled.

"Certainly not a beauty like yourself," Hanabira answered. "I'm simply saying that the only one of these pirates who could hope to best me is the undead swordsman, but his bounty is far lower than my own.

"I say, you have much more class than any of the animals here on this island," Brook complemented. "Your companions included."

"I'll grind your bones into bread," Guarin muttered darkly. "Felling Hammer!" Rushing in, the woman swung her hammer at the three Straw Hats. Brook leapt over the weapon while Merry ducked. Gin tried to faze around the blow, but was in for a nasty surprise when the attack blew him away. "I've fought enough Devil Fruit users to know to set Sea Prism Stone into my weapons, moron."

"Oooowwww," Gin grumbled, just having enough awareness of his surroundings to flip over Minos as he sped past, electrocuting him through his thick skin.

"10,000 Kilogram Press!" Amy yelled, cratering the floor between Guarin and Hanabira. The two pirates just managed to get out of the way before her parasol struck Guarin in the side, batting her away. Amy followed, yelling "Back off!"

Brook and Merry glanced at each other from the corners of their eyes... or Merry got the feeling Brook did the same thing she did. They shrugged together.

"I suppose we are your foes at the moment," Brook announced, running toward the man. Hanabira did not answer, swinging his rose. A half-dozen of the flower's petals detached, soaring toward the skeleton. Brook leapt to the side, several volleys of these sharpened floura coming for him as he approached. "Gavotte Forward Leap!"

Hanabira raised his sword, the weapon parrying Brook's jab. He stepped backwards, hastily avoiding the undead's swordplay.

"Your bounty may be higher than my own," Brook intoned, keeping the young man's eyes on him, "but I've had almost 90 years to perfect my swordplay."

Sensing an opportunity, Hanabira slashed, his sword separating Brook's skull from his neck. As the skeleton's form slumped, Merry appeared just behind it, catching the flesh-and-blood pirate wide open.

"Sinking Ax!" Merry shouted, coming out of a front flip. Her extended heel caught her foe in the collarbone, crumpling him. He opened his eyes painfully, now on the floor.

"Yohohoho!" Brooks skull laughed in front of him, a dangerous gleam in his eye socket. "Farewell."

Hanabira's eyes widened as a coldness grew from his stomach. He began to black out as Brook removed his sword from the man's back, blood pooling under him. Merry picked up Brook's skull as the musician's body wiped the blood from his sword.

"The Zoro inside me says that was dishonorable," the Klabautermann sighed, handing him his head. "The Robin, Usopp, and Mrs. Nami in me are cheering."

"'Twas not a fatal blow," Brook waved off, replacing his skull. "Not if he has any willpower, that is. Shall we assist our companions?"

"Go help Gin with the minotaur. I'll end the cat fight over there."

"Where the Hell did that clown go?" Zoro demanded, rounding a corner into the middle of a long stretch of corridor with no door or hallway behind him. The snowstorm that raged outside the castle blew his short hair. Sensing something was off, the unmistakable grunting and howls of a gorilla reached him a second later. Taking a couple steps to the railing in front of him, Zoro took in the courtyard and the tower just beyond.

"OHH OOH OH!"

"LIKE HELL YOU'RE GOING GOING TO MARRY ROBIN, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!" Sanji roared from the courtyard, fires of passion melting the snow around him. Zoro followed his eyes to see a pink gorilla on top of the tower, Robin clutched in one hand. The swordsman's eyes narrowed, silently agreeing with the chef.

"Help," Robin got out, still paralyzed from her battle with the giant moths.

Said chef, still burning, took to a length of rope tying the center of the tower to an unloading point on the ground. A baboon wielding a pair of nunchucks tried to slide down the rope, but was cut in half by Zoro's 32 Caliber Phoenix before it could get far. Sanji entered the tower, lights flashing from the windows marking his progress upward. The cook exploded from the top of the tower in a spray of rubble, his fire-wrapped leg on a course with the gorilla. The gorilla's empty fist came up attempting to block the pirate, but it was unprepared for the red-hot kick that burned and broke its middle finger.

"OOHH!" the gorilla cried, realing. Sanji spun overhead, building momentum.

"Consassé!" the chef yelled, bringing his leg down on the gorilla's face. The ape crashed through the ceiling of the tower and through every level of stairs before coming to rest on the ground floor. Robin, having been released from the monkey's hold as soon as the final blow was struck, still had trouble moving on account of the moths' paralysis.

"I've got you, Robin-chwan!" Sanji called, leaping from the tower to catch the woman in midair, only for her to vanish.

"You good, Robin?" Zoro asked from the grass, holding her in a princess carry.

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Swordsman."

"ZORO YOU BASTARD!" the blond spit out before falling to the ground in a poor, undignified heap. The snow around him melted and steamed.

"Oh dear," Robin giggled, allowing Zoro to help her stand. "I wonder what is bothering him?"

"Shitty mosshead," she cook cried.

"Everyone get inside!" Nami's voice ordered, dragging their attention to the railing where the navigator and those who had been sent to look for her stood. "There's going to be a cyclone and I'm going to direct this ship straight into it!"

End of Chapter 117

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-SwordOfTheGods