I have so much sadness
down deep in my heart
and so much joy beside it.
I know I have stopped feeding my soul
so it must be everything around it.
The trees, the land
The sky, the family
The friends, the poor
The hungry, the lonely.
Any little space where sadness has been kicked out
is dangerous for someone like me
because the thing about human pain
is that it's almost never felt.
This hardened sadness
needs somewhere to go...
and heart's like mine are
designed like a motel.
A flickering light stays on at all times
letting folks know;
"Here's a safe space to hide.
Please, stay awhile.
I'll take your coat, have a smoke-
It's the closest thing I have to love."
The hard part is not the complementary love
given away at the door.
It's when the lonely leaves,
so do they
and I am left
to hold the pain.
n.f