Thoughts and Feelings

A knock beckoned me from my mind space. Looking up I see a middle-aged blonde woman looking at me sternly.

"Ares, I have been calling you for a while. Its time for breakfast come on, everyone is waiting for you." I quickly formulate a reply that might deflect further questions about me meditating, and quells her curiosity. "Oh, I was doing this breathing exercise I learned about from my biology book. It says this helps a person to relax. About the breakfast, I will be there in a minute Miss Estell." She looked at me speculatively, so I forced blood to my cheeks tried to feign embarrassment. Then she brightens up and says "Look at you acting all grown up, come on let's go together." Getting up from beds I followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. The orphanage was normal, not to the poor, and not to overly lavish. The kitchen was full of children of all group of ages, the maximum age I think would be 16 or 17 and the youngest were 3 or 4.

"Hey, Ares over here!" Hearing my name, I look over that direction and found a couple of kids, I just nodded and went there. Immediate the started talking about the games they played yesterday or were going to play today. From the memories of Ares, he was a kid who was reserved but wasn't overly introverted, he spent a fair amount with other kids. When the breakfast was spread, I began eating while pondering my earlier thoughts of being. According to memories, Ares's mother was a witch who was running away leaving her for safety, probably death eaters. So my status wouldn't be dubious like a muggle-born, Purebloods might just ignore me because of my half-blood status. Plus I can go to Slytherin house or Raven claw, where the cream of the society lives.

Or I can leave the orphanage in a year or two and goto Leaky Claudron and find some work there, Decisions, decisions. Though I should start training, the Aurora didn't come here before so that means wandless magic can't be detected. And I sure as hell won't be caught using sticks, though staff would be cooler. But I digress, I should start some other thing like calling a free house-elf, Occlumency,

"Ares, Ares, why are you so quiet today?' Hearing my name I just smile and said: "Oh, I was just thinking what game should we play today?". This talk had diverted the attention from my different moods to hide-and-seek or tag. I wish Ares was an edgy bastard so I could just avoid the acting. Then all the kids headed to play I followed, not wanting to stick out like a sore thumb.

After the games, I just excused myself for reading and ran to my room. I closed my eyes and breathe in and out, immediately feeling myself being pulled to a familiar place. I don't want libraries for a mind palace, it's pretty early so wizards wouldn't think of computers or machines. So I started building my mind palace.

Willing all my memories of past life and the new memories of Ares, I compile them in a supercomputer in the middle of the place, where I separated them all according to titles and important stuff from magic theories from canon to fanfics or my theories. Canon knowledge, Fanon, fanfics. Different Animes, my childhood. All the memories were placed there. Then I started to build a palace with terminators, mounted Lmgs, laser guns snipers, and troops from stars wars. I went all out filling my mind space from ninjas to a giant great red dragon flying in the black sky. All created with the same purpose of destroying the intruders.

Now many of you may be wondering why so much protection, well I have a few plans and ways for more knowledge and gaining more powers. Many fanfics I read had said that wizards and switched have a core. I didn't sense mine which means I don't have one. But since I can do magic therefore the other theory is magic comes from the soul. so stronger the soul, stronger the magic.

Opening my eyes I directed my magic to my mouth and called for the op creatures of the wizarding world, "Free house elves, I need someone to bond with" I look around waiting for the pop, but nothing happens. I directed more magic and repeated myself, but still nothing nada. That was a kick in the balls and expectations. Well maybe I am not strong enough, who knows.

Instead of feeling dejected, I start doing the most important thing I can do know magic. I focused on the book lying in front of me and willed it to float. The intent, Will, and direction. The book vibrated but did not move. I created in and out and the focused once more on the book, it immediately shot up creating a 'thwack sound'. I immediately head to the door and to spend time outside, can't be too emo. Though going outside and conversing with the kids, My mind was off elsewhere, the feeling of doing magic, that feeling power. I can certainly see the quote apply to myself "too much power leads to corruption." But I can feel corrupt because I liked this power, and it was mine too, my mind wandered off leaving my body to follow autopilot. I know it I will be a strong wizard, with just going to Hogwarts, but if I push myself and if some of my theories work, I might be able to become the most powerful wizard of all time. And nothing will stop me. Unconsciously I end with a vicious smirk, that got me a reaction from my friends.

"Ares why are you smiling like that, it's weird" Rebecca a blond girl said. Bringing me out my plans.

I smiled and said "its just so fun with you guys."