Chapter 3

That day seemed to drag on, my mother and I took turns being with Lizzie and taking care of my younger siblings. I was sitting there while my family ate dinner downstairs and I finally just got so angry, I don't know if it was at her for not waking up or at Ben for being so...Ben. But I snapped, "Lizzie, this is ridiculous, you are going to ruin this for both of us," I started. "If you can hear me you'd better wake up, Papa never gave Oliver your letters," I yelled. Nothing happened, "Lizzie, stop being so dramatic and just wake up already," I explained. Her eyes fluttered, "Elizabeth May Mills, If you don't wake up they'll take you to the hospital and Oliver won't be able to visit you there," I yelled a little louder. "Lucille," came my mother's soothing voice behind me. I closed my eyes and turned around, "I'm sorry mother," I said. She came and hugged me, "I know, it's an exhausting time for all of us," she began, "But we must not lose our heads," she calmly scolded. "Yes, ma'am," I replied. "This is Doctor Garret's nurse, Martha," my mother introduced. Martha was a timid little woman who I was sure we could get to leave. "I could relieve you later, just to let you have a break," I told her. "That won't be necessary," she said in a tiny voice. I smiled, "Well, I like to sit with her," I explained. She nodded and my mother led me out of the room, "Your father wants to speak with you downstairs," my mother said.

I went down to the sitting room, he was there puffing his pipe as usual and reading a book. "Mother said you wanted to speak with me," I interrupted his reading. "Yes," he said looking up and closing his book, "I realize you're eighteen and of age and can make these choices on your own, but a young man as asked to call on you," he explained. Instantly Ben came to mind, "And what did you say?" I asked eager. My father seemed confused, "I told him maybe in a few months when Lizzie is better," he replied. My hopes dashed a little and I looked at my feet, "Lucy," he said. I looked up, "Don't you want to know who the young man is?" he asked. "Oh yes, I'm sorry father, who was it?" I questioned. "Samuel Terish," he answered proudly. "Who?" I almost shouted back confused. My father jumped, that wasn't the response he was looking for. "Samuel Terish, he's the nephew of the railway owner," he answered. "Father," I began wringing my hands. "He would make a suitable husband. He and your brother Clarence Junior would do marvelously running the railway when I'm retired," he explained again, very proud. That fire had returned, "But I love someone else," I yelled back too quickly to realize what I said. My father held his proud expression for a moment, as what I said registered. "What did you say?" he asked confused. "I..." I began and he interrupted, "I heard you. What do you know about love you haven't had anyone come to call on you," he began. "You can't know if you love someone if you haven't talked to them and found out what kind of man there are deep down," he ranted. I just stood there, not sure how I was going to explain this as I tried to wipe the sweat from my hands on my skirt. "Who is this boy, you think you're in love with, might I ask," he finished shaking his upper body. "Benjamin Allen," I replied quietly. "ABSOLUTELY NOT," he yelled and began ranting about the Allen family. I was so upset I ran to my room crying.

As I ran out my mother ran in to see what the shouting was about, "Clarence Mills, what is making you shout now?" she asked. "Your daughter just told me she's in love with Benjamin Allen," he shouted again. "Clarence, stop shouting. Give her time, she's only eighteen," my mother said. "How could she not want to be courted by a perfectly eligible man like Samuel Terish," he said lighting his pipe. "Who?" my mother asked, just as confused as I was. "He's the nephew of the railway owner," my father mumbled. "Well, maybe because she doesn't know him. She's only been around the Allen children, maybe if she got to know him she might like him," my mother pleaded exhausted. He turned around to face her, "Rose, are you feeling well?" he asked. "Just tired, dear," she answered. "Why don't you turn in early, Martha is here with Lizzie. Lucy and Cora can get the children to bed," my father said putting his arms around my mother. "Thank you darling, I think I will," she said.

That night I couldn't let Oliver in until three, I had to talk Martha into taking a short nap. "You can't be here as long as last night," I whispered leading him up to her room. "Martha will be up in a few hours, I'm sorry Oliver," I explained. "It's ok Miss Lucy, I'm grateful for that," he said. He walked over and sat down next to her and held her hand. Ben didn't come with him this time, so I sat on a chair and dosed off. "Miss. Lucy, it's almost five," Oliver said shaking me. I blinked and woke up, after a stretch I walked him out to the garden. "Thank you," he repeated. I nodded tiredly. "Oh, Miss Lucy, Ben sent you this note," he said handing me a piece of folded paper. "Thank you," I said. "I didn't read it but he asked that I wait for an answer," Oliver explained. I opened it and it read, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there. I know I don't have much to offer but I want to ask for your hand before anyone else." I couldn't help but have a huge smile and excited energy rose in me as if millions of butterflies were flying in my stomach. "Tell him, yes," I answered. He nodded, tipped his hat and left.

I went back upstairs excited and feeling like nothing, not even my father could stop us. Then I remembered, my father already had plans for me. How was I going to tell Ben, what could we do if my father already told Samuel he could call on me. I went back into Lizzie's room and stopped dead in my tracks. Martha was standing over my sister with a stethoscope, "What's happened?" I asked. She paused closed her eyes, "You should wake your parents," she said. I didn't understand, but I went in and woke my mother. Together we raced in, "I'm sorry ma'am she's gone," Martha squeaked.

In one sentence that was it, it took one sentence for my sister to be gone. Cora went for the doctor and my mother fell to the side of Lizzie's bed kissing her hand and asking God why. I fell back into a chair, everything seemed like noise around me. The doctor came and announced that my sister was in fact gone. I didn't move for three hours, I sat in that chair just staring at the wall. No one noticed except Martha, who told the doctor. He came and examined me, "She's just in shock," he said to my father. I don't know how long I sat there, but suddenly I jumped up and ran to my room. I had a mission as I changed out of my night gown, and into a white shirt and black skirt, Cora was trying to help me with my corset and all the buttons on my shirt. She quickly tried pinned my hair up but I ran out, "Wait, Miss Lucy it's not set yet," she yelled. I ran to the barn, as my hair undid it's self and fell down to my waist. I grabbed the only saddled horse, I rode that horse hard to the railway offices, I broke into my father's office and looked threw his drawers. Finally I found the letters and rode to the Allen house. It wasn't ladylike but I didn't care, my father always told my mother that there wasn't much lady about me. I probably looked like a complete mess, but I didn't notice any of it. I reached the Allen house and wondered what I was thinking. How couldn't I tell him, "Miss Lucy," Oliver called as he and his family came out on the porch, I just stared at them all for a moment. Ben walked down instantly and helped me off my horse. I was shaking, breathless and I could feel the hot tears making their way down my cheeks. "My father hid these from you and Lizzie," I told him my voice trembling handing the letters over. Oliver took them, "Lizzie?" He asked looking back at me. I took a few deep breaths, "She's gone," I pushed out. Oliver's head dropped and he fell to his knees, "I'm sorry," I said shaking my head. I started to feel my knees buckle as Mrs. Allen ran to Oliver to comfort him, I began to sway, Ben grabbed me to stead me. "Luce," he called, but I had passed out. He caught me, picked me up and carried me into the living room and laid me on the couch, one of his sisters grabbed a cloth for my head.

I'm not sure how long I laid there but when I opened my eyes I saw Ben sitting next to me holding my hand. I smiled, "Are you ok?" he asked. I nodded, "Is Oliver ok?" I asked. "No," Benjamin said. I sat up confused, I let out air that felt like a thousand weights and put my head in my hands and started crying. Ben moved to sit next to me, he shushed me as I fell into his chest. "They wouldn't want us to cry," Ben whispered. "They've made it impossible for us," I whispered back. "What do you mean?" He asked. "You're awake," the doctor said coming into the living room. "Ben, you'd better take her home," Mrs. Allen said. "Oh, I can manage," I replied whipping my tears and trying to get up. "No, you'd better let Ben take you," the doctor recommended. I nodded and walked over to Mrs. Allen and embraced her. I could tell she was trying to hold back tears. "It'll be ok, you'll see," she whispered. Ben helped me out to a buggy, tied my horse to the back and headed back to my house.

I figured on the way home was my chance to tell him, "My father," I began but he started talking at the same time. We both smiled, "Sorry, you go first," he said. "My father told Samuel Terish he could call on me," I explained, I needed to talk about anything but Lizzie. He paused for a bit before asking, "Do you want him too?" "No," I replied quickly. "Then don't," he said looking over at me. I thought for a while, could I really refuse to see him. "Thought you didn't want to be pushed around," he stated plainly. "I don't," I said. "Then don't see him if you don't want to," he repeated. "What were you going to say?" I asked. "Not important," he said. I felt like I was going to burst, "I still have the note," I blurted out. "Good," he replied. How could he just be so taciturn, he asked me to marry him and now he just says good. "I thought you didn't play any games, Benjamin Allen?" I asked angrily. "I don't," he replied. "You are now," I yelled. "How?" He asked. "I told you I still have the note!" I exclaimed losing my patients. "And I replied good," Ben repeated. I sat there stewing in my thoughts, was this how he was going to play this, only communicating through notes. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, he pulled the buggy over at a field down the road from my house. "Look Luce, I know I can't compete in your father's eyes with Samuel whoever, but," he stammered and paused. "Samuel can't compete with you in my eyes," I told him looking him in the eyes. He took a deep breath and kissed me, I'd never seen Oliver kiss Lizzie this way or my father kiss my mother, this kiss was more than what I'd ever waited for. He pulled back and got the horses moving again but I stayed there a minute longer not wanting the moment to fade.