Chapter 68: Dead Embers

AN:// Hi guys! I actually updated yesterday but for some reasons, I can't find it anymore. I thought it was uploaded for sure. :( sorry I'll have to rewrite:((((((

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"You actually got perfect marks on all exams?!" Fallon asked as she aggressively approached her with awe reflected in her widened eyes. Tons of spectators surrounded the huge green bulletin board on the hallway entrance of their school as the results of their latest exams were already posted. Fallon was not aggravated by the fact that Joy was at the top again because she expected that plot twist- what pissed her off so early in the morning was that she was tied at rank 2 with the transferee she found so annoying. Nick and Mari were tied and they were celebrating but Fallon wasn't in the mood to even smile.

Joy still hasn't looked at the results because of the huge number of people that surrounded the bulletin board but she already heard about the results from the people. She was happy to have attained such high scores and recognition at academics. She was happy that her friends- including Fallon was at the top with her- but somehow she felt like her heart was going nuts because it was beating wildly for reasons unknown to her.

However, these past few days since she last saw the beach, she was trying hard to suppress the feeling of pain and emptiness that was boiling inside of her and she was trying not to give her attention to the feeling that were constantly restricting her in everything she does- but she realized in the end that the more she tried to fight them off, the more they hurt her, and the more they intensify.

She turned away from the spectators and started walking on her own towards their classroom on the second floor of their building. No one noticed her as she left because everyone were all too busy looking at the exam results posted. She was sure that she passed by some students but she was busy contemplating and never looked around. She climbed the stairs towards their classroom as she looked down with her hair hiding her face to hide her desperation and sadness from other people because she never wanted to give anyone even the slightest hint that she was troubled. However , droplets of her tears marked her way as she went towards the classroom; but she seemed completely different at her surroundings because she just walked like a doll without looking around.

'Why can't I be just numb?'

She started whispering to herself as she contemplated becausw her feelings were starting to make her feel suffocated at herself. She bumped at the chair that was placed on the hallway and she crouched in pain as she held her wrist near her chest as she appeared to be hugging herself as a pacifier to calm down.

'It's..... It's so painful.'

She had acquired another cut from herself last night as she was alone in her room. She was so sad and desperate to have a diversion method that can potentially lead her out of the sadness she felt- something that can make her numb for sure- and that was why she cut herself so that she can no longer think about sadness she have inside of her so her attention would just be focused on the pain on her wrists.

'no matter what I do, this stupid feeling is still here after all'

She tried to stay composed because she doesn't want anyone to see her look troubled and she wiped her tears as she stood up and went to their empty room, trying to mask away her pain. However, the sight of the chair beside her gave her goosebumps as she enterred the room- and for some reasons, she has been trying so hard not to cry every time she saw it. She approached the chair and studied it- it was clean and it was without any mark. Of all the chairs in their classroom, it was the cleanest. She sat down the chair - but the moment she had contact with it made her feel more depressed.

'What is this feeling building up inside of me?'

She leaned on the table and closed her eyes. She wanted to rest because she was so tired that she doesn't even want to get up from her bed in the morning.

'I'm not doing anything in particular, but why am i so tired?'

She was finally drifting her way to sleep but she heard footsteps coming her way. How long has it been aince she went on the room to rest? She doesn't even know anymore because she wanted to sleep even if she was already over sleeping at their house. She did not look at the person coming but she felt someone sit beside her.

"Remember me?" the person said. The voice was so familiar that she quickly get up and looked towards him. He was at Nick's seat and he was looking at her as he leaned on the table. "You seem to have aged a bit, Hope."

"I... I was stressed. How are you by the way?" she asked him. She was overly conscious of the way her eyes looked because she just finished sobbing and she knows that her eyes would look swollen. She studied him- he was wearing corporate clothes but she was sure that the guards would not allow him on the grounds. "Why are you here? And how did you get in?"

"Magicians never tell their secrets." he answered. "I'm fine. How about you?"

He looked at her eyes. His green eyes made her feel intimidated and she knew that he will be able to read her even if she lied. She sighed and averted her gaze from him.

"I... Am not fine." she said and looked down, as the man wasn't so surprised. "I feel like I'm going to burst- like my heart is going to beat out my chest. I am surrounded by so many people but I am feeling so alone. I know I don't have the right to even complain but it hurts me that all i wanted to do was sleep every hour because I don't want to think about it- but the moment I drift to sleep, my dreams are hunting me. It is like my life makes sure to make me feel that this horrible darkness inside of me is growing and its starting to engulf me that it became so scary to even close my eyes."

"That is your sole battle that I can't help you with." he said and stood up. "Some battles are meant to be fought alone. And I agree with you. This world isn't as kind as it looks. When you are sad, it makes you more sad- and sadness is long term that it is considered depression- while happiness is short term. It's how things work in our world right? But it's not like when you realize that, your pain will just magically go away. Sometimes, you need to learn to breathe and try your best to regain your calm."

" How do I do that?" Joy asked him.

"I have my necklace with me. But I'm not going to show you because you deemed it to be scary. Every time I look at it, i am reminded that i need to reset my mind- like take a deep breath or something." he said and started to walk away.

"Wait. Can i see ypur necklace? Again?" Joy hesitantly asked and he looked back at her as he shrugged and approached her. She showed her the necklace that was tucked on his shirt and held it so she could see. He noticed that her hands were trembling as she touched it but he saw in her eyes that she was stirred up with mixed feelings of awe and fright at the necklace. "Why do I feel like this necklace is familiar to me?"

'That's because you possessed one before and you can't remember it' he thought but he just took it away from her and tucked in on his shirt. "This world is strange."

"Yeah it is." Joy said and he walked away. "Wait!"

"What is it this time?" he asked.

"No. I.... Uh... Thank you very much for checking me out" she said and when he looked at her eyes, he saw relief. He just waved his hands to her as he left and she shrugged.

"So I guess the embers are dead now."