Chapter 17

Violet sat at the the vanity by the window of the room she had moved into at Gilbert's manor. She sat there staring at herself with a confident smile in her beautiful, simple, wedding dress as her right hand rested on the letter from Leon.

Cattleya brought the letter over the day before, along with well wishes and to say she was so happy for Violet. It was a long day of going over all of the last minute details for the wedding, and on top of that Gilbert's doctor came to check on him. With such a full day Violet didn't have to time to read the letter from Leon, and in some ways she didn't want to read it.

The last couple of weeks with Gilbert have been complicated to say the least. Gilbert is even more of a gentleman than before, only making her love him more. Their reunion and engagement has been met with a wide variety of reactions.

On Violet's side, her friends and coworkers couldn't be happier. Erica and Iris were in tears from how overjoyed they are and Cattleya hugged her for a really long time. Benedict even smiled. The Evergardens seemed relieved and offered to help plan the wedding.

The Bougainvillea side's reactions were mixed, and somewhat difficult for Violet to process. His mother is so happy that everything is working out the way it is with Violet and keeps talking about grandchildren, which came up later on the car ride home.

When his brother, Dietfried, was told he scoffed before leaving the room and Gilbert chased after him. Violet stayed in the living room with her soon to be mother in-law, even when she heard the shouting out in the foyer. But when she heard what sounded like someone hitting the hard marble floor she flew to the door. Upon opening it she found Dietfried on the ground looking stunned as Gilbert was on top of him with a fist raised and ready to drop. "No!" Violet ran, grabbed her fiancé's arm and held him back from hitting his brother. "Violet." Dietfried whispered in shock.

There was an intense conversation between the three of them. Gilbert finally standing up to his older brother. "If you can't support our marriage then I have no room for you in the life I have left." He cried angry tears as he said it, but they didn't detract from his seriousness. Before leaving the house the bitter older brother said he supports the union and said that he would try harder for his little brother.

When they were half way home, she had been staring out the window in deep thought the whole time, and Gilbert had been as well. He broke the silence though. "Violet."

She blinked and turned to him with a slight smile on her lips. "Yes?"

He reached for her her hand. "Do— do you want children?"

Her heart started to race. She'd been rolling that idea around the entire car ride this far. "It's something— I haven't put a lot of thought into until this evening…"

A knot was forming in his throat. He did wanted children. He had wanted at least two and to see them grow up. He knows that dream isn't possible now. Even if Violet says she does, he won't see his children beyond the age of one or two. His eye begin to water, how could he want something so badly when he knows how much pain this will all bring for so many people. "Violet, you don't have to do this."

Her eyebrows pull together and her mouth gets very small as she looks deep into his emerald eye. "What do you mean?"

He managed to keep the tears from falling as he spoke and his chest tightened. "You don't have to marry me, or think about having children with me. All that this is going to do is bring you a lot of agony and—" he stopped when he felt her begin to squeeze his hand and saw that she was getting angry.

"I want to marry you Gilbert. I want to have children with you. I want to live a long life with you." Tears begin to spill from both of them.

He speaks through his tears. "I want all of that too but—" His words are cut off when she quickly pulls him into a kiss.

They hadn't kissed since that day at the hospital, just occasional hand holds that he knew she couldn't actually feel, he knew too well, since he had his own metal arm. He was surprised at first by her sudden pull, the warmth of her soft lips, and how desperate he felt for more of her touch in this moment as he leaned further into the kiss until she was fully leaning against the inside of the car door. When she gently pushed him away he complied without hesitation, even though he didn't want the kiss to end.

She spoke soft and gentle as they both sat up, staying close as she continued to grip his hand. "I don't want to waste anymore of the time we have together being sad about what we won't have." She leaned to him until her head meets his chest and she can hear his heartbeat, a sound she wanted to hear for as long as possible.

She knew this path was going to lead to sorrow, and that was one of the reasons she was choosing it. She had learned that loving someone doesn't mean you are protected from the many pains of life. She has also learned that when you love someone you are willing to go through great sufferings for them.

Wedding planning continued in a hurry, invitations went out in a hurry, all but one anyway. She held on to Leon's invitation for a few extra moments before letting it go, wondering if inviting him was the right or wrong thing to do, she settled on the former and pushed the invitation through the mail slot.

Towards the end of the day before the wedding, as she waited in her room for Gilbert's doctor to arrive, she pulled the letter that Cattleya had brought to her and tiredly opened it. As she read it, noticing the water makes where a couple of his tears had been absorbed by the paper, she added her own to the paper. Her heart burned again, just like it did the day she found Gilbert, the day she departed from the path that would have led her to Leon.

She had suspected Leon's feelings, but reading them now she felt sick as a flurry of emotions swarmed her. She felt sad, sad that he hadn't said anything sooner, and that made her angry. "Why would he send it now?" She muttered under her breath as she slammed the letter into the top drawer of her vanity. Sadness overcame her again as she whispers to herself. "Oh god... the wedding invitation." A false sense of relief washes over her as she tells herself that 'he's probably already gone on his adventure with Fern on the other side of the world, so maybe he didn't get it.'

She didn't know what to do about the context of his letter as she fell back onto the navy blue comforter on her bed. That night when they almost kissed almost felt like a lifetime ago despite the it being hardly a month ago. At the time her feelings for him were just barely becoming clear to herself. She had found him appealing, attractive, and it was so easy to be around him and feel light and happy. She is more than happy to have Gilbert back in her life now, even with the cloud of grief that follows them, when she catches his emerald eye watching her with a soft smile of his lips its like sunlight that overpowers the cloud for a moment.

She wrestled with her emotions and her beliefs about love until she heard a car approaching and knew it would be his doctor. She quickly pulled herself together before going to welcome the doctor into the house and bring him to Gilbert's office. As she sat on the small sofa in the office she watched every movement the doctor made and focused on every question and reply between the two men. She gripped the emerald pin on her neck as the doctor reports that nothing was worse nor was it improved since his last visit over a month ago. A thick silence filled the room as the doctor packed up his things and saw himself out.

A shadow fell on Gilbert's face as he avoided making eye contact with Violet. "Violet—"

"Don't!" She snapped. She knew where he was going to go and she take anymore of him trying to change her mind. She went to him and lifted his chin until his beautiful green eye, filling with tears already, met hers. "I'm not leaving you. Ever." She spoke firmly. "I'm going to stay by your side until the end." He really didn't know what to say as the first tear fell from his eye.

She brushed some of his dark hair from his face as she slightly smiled. Her voice is kind with a hint of command. "We have a very big day tomorrow, so we should probably get some rest." He smiled before leaning to give her a small chaste kiss.

She struggled to get any real rest. Excitement for the day ahead, confusion over Leon's letter, and heart ache from the doctor's visit. When she checked the clock and saw it was well past one in the morning she decided to go to the kitchen and try a warm glass of milk, grabbing Leon's letter before leaving her room. She sat at the table, dimly lit by a candle she reread the letter over and over again until she felt her eyelids finally feel heavy.

When the maid knocked on the door the next morning Violet was still holding the letter as she rose from the bed. The maid let her know that Cattleya and Iris were waiting to see her and help her get ready for the day ahead. Violet put the letter back in the top drawer of her Vanity before letting the girl's in to do her hair and makeup.

They could tell something was off about the blushing bride. Yes, she was an odd young lady, but she was never this distracted. At first Cattleya and Iris only exchanged worried glances and then Cattleya couldn't take it anymore. She made sure to keep her tone caring and warm, wanting violet to see her as the caring friend she is and not the nosey hairstylist she might appear to be in this moment. "Violet, sweetie, is something the matter?"

Iris paused the makeup and looked up at Cattleya looking a little panicked as Violets lips and eyes begin to shake. She slowly pulls the letter out and hands it to Cattleya. Iris rushed to her Cattleya's side to read along side her. They both sighed as they read it.

Iris came around to face Violet and rested a hand on the bride's shoulder. "How do you feel about him Violet?"

Violet took a deep breath, she had been thinking about that question for hours. "I feel like we missed our boat. Like I could have fallen in love with him... in a different time or if things had turned out differently with Gilbert... I just—" she looked at both of her friends with a confident smile. "I've never felt more sure about something than I do about marrying Gilbert."