Memories (Chpt. 28)

When you got back everyone was getting into the cars. You climb back into your seat and just stare out of the window.

Some time into the drive you feel your phone buzzing. You look and see that it's from Ruth. "Hey be careful your stepfather is getting more intense with his search for you all" "thanks, we'll try to be more careful from now on" Afterwards you plug in some earbuds and keep looking out the window. It didn't take that long for you to start to daydream of the past. And then slowly you start to feel a hole tearing inside of your heart. Everything seemed to be so okay, it felt perfect. But maybe your sense of space was off and in reality you were as far from perfect as you are from the Sun. Memories suddenly turn bittersweet and salty to remember. And for a long while you allow your senses to be clouded by gloom and a desperate feeling to cling a tapestry of glee over everything of the past and call it a day and say everything was still perfect.

Next thing you know your eyes start to sting when tears appear in them. Desperately you try to make your eyelids suck them back in. But with every time you try you mind conjures a thought that counterattack your attempts to not cry in its heart. And without your permission your body allows your tears to pass your wall of ego and emotions. All you are left to do is to turn away from everyone else and silently let your tears fall out onto your sleeve and soak into your sleeve for a long while. Pretending to admire the scenery covers up for you until you are done mentally torturing yourself.

By the time you arrive at the next stop your eyes have dried and are left puffy and red. So you decide to go into the restroom to wash your face. When you look in the mirror you notice how red your eyes have become. 'This won't be fixed with just a simple wash….'