Wounds Of The Past And Present (Part-2)

{POV: Erin} --------

I stared at the coffee table like it was the most interesting object at the moment.

Then I felt Jess shift next to me. She held up my chin with her index finger. My eyes focused on her emerald green ones.

She slowly moved in closer. Her lips softly brushed against mine. The butterflies in my stomach flew around wildly.

Her hand caressed the side of my face, she deepened the kiss.

I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her neck I pulled her closer. Her other hand wandered down to my lower back.

Feeling her fingers drawing circles on my back sent shivers up my spine. I heard a barely audible moan. I was so lost in the kiss I didn't know which on of us it was.

Finally coming to my senses I pulled away from Jess's embrace. She looked at me while panting slightly out of breath.

All the memories or the past came rushing back into my mind. The joy, anger and... the heartbreak.

"I can't do this Jess." I bolted to my bedroom before she could stop me.

Locking the door. My back against the door I slid down to the floor.

My mind was in a state of panic. I raked my fingers through my hair, thinking of what I should do next.

Screw it. Music helps in almost any situation. I plugged in my earphones, flopped face down on my bed and pressed play.

••••••••

If life was a movie

I'd be your favourite actor

You'd be my favourite scene

You'd be my favourite chapter

My eyes never left the screen

Since I saw you, the one that I been after

I could watch you over and over

Filled my life with laughter

And if life was a book

You'd be my favourite author

I'd read your words night and day

And I would never bother to leave

You're the only book I would read, yeah, yeah

And If life was a song

This would be my favourite song

I wrote this when you're gone

Wonder when you're coming home

Or if you're coming home

You been gone hella long

And I'd been all alone, yeah, yeah

You used to be comfort zone

Used to be my one

And only one I wanna hold

Remember you would wanna hold me

Falling in my arms

So I fell for you

Foolish move that I fell for you

'Cause baby, yeah, I need you

I would never leave you

Wonder how you left me

You left me feeling empty

And I can't lie, you're see-through

I cannot believe you

Even though you did me wrong

For some reason I need you

And I can't lie, I miss you

I forgot them issues

How could you forget me

When I couldn't forget you

And baby, yeah, your special

I cannot forget you

Even when I tried baby

I cannot forget you

Girl, I want you

I need you back, I need you back

Girl, I love you

Even if you don't love me back (don't love me back)

Girl, I want you

I need you back, I need you back

Girl, I'm gon' love you

Even if you don't love me back (don't love me back)

••••••••

Now that's great, my phone just had to play that song first.

What's worse is that it describes almost everything about me and Jess. Ugh I'm so confused!

The kiss, the song, all of it! It just dredged up old feelings and memories I thought I'd buried.. Damnit no more music, absolutely NOT helping!

I sat up, my eyes immediately searched for the door. "*Sigh* This is no the time for a headache"

I could feel my brain deciding it's going to give me hell soon. I needed water before it was too late.

Walking sluggishly to the white painted wooden door, I stopped before unlocking it. I heard footsteps approaching.

" *Knock knock* Erin, please come out... I'm sorry, just let me explain. We can work this out." Her voice came out pleading.

"Oh now you want to talk? You could've done that instead of kissing me!" I fummed back at her. I knew it was my fault too, I kissed her back... but still.

"I know, I know... just... let's talk outside, please?." Jess for once since I found her sounded guilty. Well that's... new?

I opened the door to find her looking at the floor nervously, rocking back and forth on her heels. Jess did that when she's nervous.

Hmm, what are you playing at here. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Well?"

"I.. I Uhm... I'm s..sorry.. for doing that.. I couldn't control myself..." Looking up at me with her cheeks showing a mild redness.

What the?... Uugh stop it!! Don't give me that face. " *sigh* Fine we'll talk outside.." I sighed defeated.

-------

We sat on green grass under the only tree in my backyard, shading us from the sun. The girl sitting next to me was fidgeting none stop.

Does she have ants in her pants or something?

"So you're criminal or something right?" I asked her deciding to start off the conversation.

She shook her head no. Just at that moment a light filtered through the leaves of the tree shone on her hair, the shimmering red waves side to side then landed on her shoulders some of it shielding her face.

I couldn't help myself, I slowly tucked the strands of hair behind her ear. I saw her avert her gaze and murmur a thanks. When did she turn so... docile and shy??

" *ahem*" Jess cleared her throat suddenly getting serious.

" Well no and yes, our organisation works in the shadows and does most of its operations without disturbing the citizens of the country as to not have them live in fear of having us around everywhere."

I nodded in understanding and gestured for her to continue with whatever story this was.

" Our group are more of assassins really. We prevent disasters. Essentially we take the weeds out the garden before they grow out of control, unnoticed .Our leader K trained me since I was 10 years old to be the best of the best in the organisation, I was to be her successor one day if anything ever happened to her.

You see... I was an orphan, my parents died in a car crash and I survived but social services never entered me into the government system. Officially I died along with my parents 16 years ago. The perfect pawn to become a Queen.

Anyway, one night I was in a alleyway looking to hide from the local hood rats (gangsters). I accidentally ended up witnessing a woman kill another man in cold blood. My 10 year old mind still oblivious to the fact that I was in danger and only came to my senses when the same woman was crouched down to my eye level.

She asked if I saw anything. I blatantly lied to her face and said no. Fearing she might kill me if I said yes. She smiled at me and said 'good answer'. A sleek silver car pulled up and she entered the backseat while I gawked.

'Are you coming or do you want to end up like the man outside' K said not even looking at me. I hurriedly sat in next to her and we drove in silence until we reached the place I would stay for the coming 10 years.

She gave me a new name, showed me how to fight, gave me a home to live. K gave me a whole new life. I admired her for how strong she was and she never once wavered in her decisions. I wanted to be like her, even if it meant being alone at the top."

Jess looked up at the sky. Wringing her hands together. She blinked a few times, her eyes shined brightly and she sniffed. Was she... crying?

"After K's personal training I never failed a mission, not a single one until. Your dad somehow got into K's bad books and she wanted him gone as soon as possible, with no existance of him left."

"Is that why you tried to kill me, because I was a part of his existance?" My voice raised after each word towards Jess. She didn't immediately answer me, she just looked forward treating me like I was air.

" Yes and no." Jess finally said. What kind of answer is that? Taking my frown as a que to continue.

"When I first saw you I was instantly intrigued. Just everything about you made me want more. So I went back to K and convinced her that this called for a long term stake out. Us meeting was never an accident.

I was selfish, I just wanted to know what was so special about you. You were the only person in my life that could make me feel... Warmth.

From the way you laughed, your ridiculous singing. Your science fetish. How you dance when cooking your favourite dish. The way you're always late for everything. Your geeky glasses. Your passion for music. All of it... it made me fall utterly and hopelessly in love with you.

But it was over too soon. K was about to find out that I had a personal connection outside of the organisation, and with the target's daughter no less...

I had no choice but to kill your father before he did anymore damage to the organisation. I confirmed it with K.

Weeks later she called an emergency meeting, an announcement of a new AI android. It was the future of our organisation for the generations to come."

Jess glanced over to me with her eyes. I've only ever seen her cry once before. She blankly stared at the grass once more. I said nothing only listened intently as she continued to what seems... her past.

"The androids could look and sound like anyone they wanted. K said I had the honour of becoming the new face of the AI droids. She showed me a reflection of myself, only with different clothing and closed eyes. It was me but as an android.

She wanted to test it out in the field but I made an excuse of running an errand before she did.

I went to your house, *sob* you weren't there... I.. I wanted to save you before it was too late Rin. I looked everywhere for you *sniff* ... It's all my.. f..fault... I couldn't protect you... I kept searching until K showed up and told me very descriptively how you died... *sniff*... And it was me... I got you killed Rin *sniff* I'm so sorry.."

Jess burst out into tears. I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't do anything except process everything she told me. I watched her cry, she tried hard to stop herself from crying but only succeeded in shaking from holding in her pain.

My heart ached. I hated or wanted to hate her for so many years. But seeing her like this, I couldn't take it. It felt like the day she left all over again she looked so out of reach and it hurt me.

This time it won't be the same...

I stood up in front of her. I held out my hand. She sniffed a little wiping her tear stained face. Looking up at my outstretched hand her eyes teared up again.

"I.. *sniff*... I don't have..y.. your knife Rin *sob* I.. g..gave it to you.. *sniff*.." She held back her sobs as much as she could.

I couldn't help but chuckle at what she said.

"I know, this time I want you to give me your hand."

She realised what I meant and hesitantly fit her hand into mine, standing up she was a few inches taller than me.

Looking around I saw the sun was almost setting....damn how long have we been out here?. Shaking away the thought I focused solely on Jess.

Her thin eyebrows furrowed together, eyes watery. Her chin was trembling a bit from the crying. Even in this state she was beautiful.

Squeezing her hand in mine I pulled her towards the house...

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End chapter six