Boasting is dangerous

****When climbing a staircase, climb with one eye on the stairs and one eye on your shoe. You never know when one of them might be broken and send you sprawling down.****

My mother used to give tuitions at home to those who needed it, for free. It didn't matter too much to me as I usually didn't know her students. But one day, a popular girl from school came to my mother for help. Silky shoulder length hair, beautiful skin, all the works. If I didn't have a crush on Leonardo Di Caprio, I could have thought that I was a lesbian too. Not that it would have been bad, it would have made life easier in a way. No risk of unwanted pregnancies, for one. When she would come home, I would sit just outside the room, trying to see what ingredients were required for popularity. No, I didn't get the answer to that question. But another one of my query was surely answered: how to get a cramp while remaining seated in the same place for a long hour?

Carla, the popular girl, used to travel in the same school bus as I, and she shared the throne with another classmate at the back of the bus. Ever since she had started coming to mum for help, she had started smiling at me in greeting. A hi or hello would have done too, to let people know that I was on speaking terms with her, but apparently she only wanted to be on smiling terms with me. Too bad, it was not like a drive through menu: Hello, I'd like a hand wave with that smile please. Any sides? A Hi would be fine, thank you.

I was 13 at that time, and at that age, these little details count. At least, they do if you were into superficial things and needed to sustain an unhealthy relationship with your peers. I was fully into that and I wanted recognition too. I got it a few days later, when Carla saw me in the corridor at school,

'Hey you're very lucky to have a mum who can help you with your work at home.'

'Yeah, it's great,' I said with a bright smile. I had worked hard after all to have a mum like one, it was not easy to rear parents these days. She left and I turned around. Who saw me talking to her? Would I be reaping some of her popularity? Cripes, there was no one around.

I had to find another occasion for her to talk to me. Over the next few days, I made sure to pass in front of Carla's class every day. Look at me, look at me. If one could get conjunctivitis by being too close to someone who's infected, maybe it might be true with popularitis. I started thinking about this crazy desire that I had to be popular and my little voice asked me,

'Why do you want to be popular? You hate being in crowds!'

That was true, but I was a teenager and I had the right to contradict myself when it suited me. If I were mature, it would be going against the principles of adolescence and I couldn't do that.

The next time, Carla made eye contact with me when I was in the bus. She was right behind me and it was soon going to be my turn to alight from the bus. The place was crowded, so it was ideal for my plan.

'Hey.'

'Hi.' I got the public hi. I was on a high.

'Tell your mum I got an A.'

'That's cool.'

One more step and there would be the stairs.

'You must be getting very good results with her help.'

Yes, my turn had come. I was getting the attention that I craved. But, which you don't need, added the little pest in me. She was getting insolent, I had to stop feeding her.

'Yes, I dooooooo, ah...'

And I slid down the last 2 steps and almost landed on my bum. I could see Carla and her friend stifle a grin, before she asked me if I was okay.

'Yeah, I'm good at falling too,' I mumbled before walking to my class quickly. I wanted popularity, right? I would be known as the girl who could not climb down stairs. Wish fulfilled. I felt so mortified, but everyone had forgotten about me by the next week.

I learnt my lesson the hard way. Boasting is bad when you have stairs in front of you. When you want to flaunt your talents, do it far from stairs. All those models who tripped on stairs during their catwalk would surely agree with me. One should flatter oneself only when the area is flat.