Cover yourself well

****Bring a shawl or you will bawl.****

After my pregnancy I had taken on a whooping 10 additional kilograms and I never even realised it. Sure, at that time you only think about your offspring, but after 2 years, there's no excuse. At the first sign of winter my chronic rhinitis would kick in and it was not pleasant. It was like each morning on waking up, your nose suffered from morning sickness and until it emptied itself, you could not start the day.

One day on going to work, I met one of my colleagues on the stairs. She was a sweet old lady and would retire the following year. She gave me a beaming smile and pointing to my belly, she said,

'Ah, you're expecting your second baby, that's a good decision.'

Shocked, I looked at my round little belly. It did look a little plump, but to think that I was pregnant, that was exaggerated. I told her that it was just gas. She shrugged and went on her way. A few days later, as I was sitting down to have my lunch, the head of department came in my direction to tell me about the project I had to work on with students. After chatting for a few minutes, she told me,

'Even I chose to have my second child after two years, it's easier to manage then.'

What? Was it written 'Expecting a baby' on my forehead? Two random persons coming to tell me in the same week that I was an expectant mother. There must be something wrong. That night while undressing, I stared at myself in the mirror.

'Darling, do I look fat?' I asked my husband. Coming to kiss me on my shoulders, he said,

'You always look good to me.'

Oh, that was so sweet, but not what I needed to hear. I was 5 feet and extra weight on me didn't look good. I always envied those who were taller, some extra kilograms on them made them curvy, while I looked like a ball, not a very well inflated one at that. I took one of the outfits that used to fit me 3 years ago and that was when I got my answer. I had apparently transformed the post-pregnancy extra weight into permanent weight. I had to change that. And I did. After changing to a healthier diet and exercising almost every day, I shed the weight in 3 months. It wasn't even that difficult.

I felt freed in a way and I wanted to enjoy that freedom. I seized the opportunity to wear some of my older outfits and it was great to be able to fit in them. I was like a helium balloon, free to rise, but unfortunately I forgot that just like balloons, the air will go out and make me fall on the ground. This was what happened to me on a Friday. It was the pre-weekend and I was feeling happy. To celebrate that, I chose an outfit I had not worn since along time. Tight electric blue pants and a black blouse which reached till the waistband of my pants. Usually, I wore longer blouses but on that day my confidence level was high and I wanted to discreetly flaunt my new old body.

When I went into class, I was still on my little cloud and I took more time to explain in front of the whiteboard. There was a light cool breeze blowing, aerating the room. It was with a smile that I finally gave some classwork and sat down to do the attendance.

'Miss. Miss,' I heard a student hissing in front of me. On any other day, I would have been annoyed to be disturbed like that, especially when work had been set, but I was feeling magnanimous on that day.

'Yes, Anaelle,' I asked sweetly.

'Miss, your zip is open.'

My heart stopped for one second. My helium balloon started getting deflated. Not only was there a hole in my balloon, but also one in my pants. Okay, not technically a hole, but a big opening. Automatically, my mind went back to the morning; my panties were of which colour?

Wincing slightly, I half-grimaced and half-smiled at Anaelle.

'Thank you.'

How many students had watched my home-made movie? The opening of the zip, a total flop movie. I checked that no one was observing me and looked down at my pants. She was right, an opening bigger than Ali Baba's cave.

Sesame, close. Sesame, close the hell up and keep the family jewels inside. I knew that the male organ was sometimes referred to as the family jewels, did it apply to women as well? If not, then it should. My clitoris was very precious to me.

Obviously, the zip did not close on its own. I could not do it openly as well, as the movement and the noise would be like shining a flashlight in a dark room. All the 35 pairs of adolescent eyes would turn in my direction. That was when I got a wonderful idea. There, on the table was my trusted shawl. They had announced that the temperature would go down during the day and I had brought it just in case. Well, the just in case moment was now. I picked it up and curled it around my shoulders just like a cape. Now I knew why superheroes liked capes. It was a more sporty version of a shawl and it protected you. Right now, mine was protecting my dignity. It was large enough to cover my lap as well. I brought my pencil case closer to me and opened it, it made the zipping sound I was expecting. Then I moved one of my hands beneath the shawl and slipped it up. Mission accomplished. I quickly brought my hand to my pencil case. Oh, you heard a zipping sound? Just my pencil case dear.

That day, I learnt an important lesson, zip it up. Be it for your clothes or your mouth, sometimes it's better to zip it up.