The race

****Running to win only is baseless, you run, but do not get any of its benefits.****

The staff race had always been an important event for me as I was a great fan of running. It was true that I preferred longer distances like the 5K and 10K and was not a sprinter, but the only distance at play was the 80m sprint. So I had to sprint.

The first time I participated, I was so stressed that I could barely eat in the morning and by the time the race started, I hadn't eaten for hours so I got acidity. That was not a good thing for my private engine as if there was no fuel, it couldn't move effectively. And that was exactly what happened. I was fit enough to run and clinch the 2nd place, but I couldn't accelerate and I watched the first place go to another colleague.

Over the years the same scenario was repeated and I got the second best place each time. This seemed to place a lot of pressure on my shoulders, which was completely unnecessary as the race would bring nothing but a metal medal and a few accolades. Within 2 days, everyone usually forgot about it. I was the only one to remember it all over the year.

For the past 3 years, the race had been won by one of my colleague, Yavi. She always looked so relaxed before and after, whereas I would take 30 minutes to warm up. I always went to great lengths to make sure I was mentally and physically ready, even asking some of my students, who were good athletes, to give me tips.

This year I knew it was going to be even more difficult as I had improved my mileage and was even more at ease with longer distances. I didn't sprint at all. I started my warming up and watched Yavi out of the corner of my eyes. She was sitting, at ease and I envied her composure.

When the race started, my heart starting beating rapidly even before I had started. If there had been a race for heartbeats I would definitely come first. The race started and as I started pumping up my thighs and arms, I suddenly felt the tension leave me. Why was I straining so hard, for an outcome that wasn't worth it. I immediately felt my muscles relax and my speed slowed down as well. I turned to look to my right and I saw that Yavi was striving hard to be able to reach the finish line before me. Her breathing was strained and at that moment I realized that winning was as important, if not more, for her than for me.

I usually expressed my apprehension to those around me, they knew that the staff race was important for me whereas Yavi bottled everything up, trying to appear cool and affected. I didn't win this time as well, but I came out stronger from this experience.

I learnt a lesson from the staff race, once you accept that there is a problem, it is then that you start working on solving it. Then life is filled with enough problems, I should not go looking for activities that stress me out. People say that you should do what frightens you as it helps you to battle your fears, but no one will ever tell you to keep doing what stresses you. Competition is what makes you better for sure, but it unfortunately brings its dose of side-effects. Professional athletes at least get a prize for their stress and hard work, I only get a cheap piece of metal without the respect that athletes get, so is it worth it? NO. Will I do it again? It depends on how much a sucker I am for pain, right. It's what my husband calls a sadomachochistic relationship with the race. It pains me, but I love that pain, this is why I cannot stop myself from aligning myself on that starting line.

So the final moral is that humans are stupid and will ultimately do what they want to complain later about how much they hate doing it.