Episode 89
"Ian Strauss! I would like to take your name!"
" What does she mean!!!!! "
Ian yelled to himself when Josh came inside the room, almost surprising him.
He came over and sat down on the floor with Ian who looked quite confused by himself. He was sitting in the corner of the room, curled up whilst hugging his legs.
"Say..." Ian initiated the conversation with the man who casually sat next to him "Do you think we can have a happy ending?"
Josh had nothing to reply over that, he just smiled a bit and put his hand over Ian's head slightly messing up his head.
"Mari san found me..." Ian told her, though Josh didn't seem much surprised "I think she really is serious about us..."
" Are you serious too?" Josh asked him, Ian's grip around his legs tightened.
" Even if I was serious, it doesn't matter... there's no point in dragging her around when all I can see myself is fading away with my revenge..." Ian replied.
" You are serious" Josh replied, it somewhat annoyed Ian.. mostly because he knew it was right.
"You can back away if you want"
Ian shook his head really hard "how can you say that??! Do you know what I've gone through all these years???! Do you think I can just forget it?? Nobody will save me! Especially not mom! Nor her!! I will save myself! " Ian spoke glaring at Josh.
" I see.. " Josh replied, after all he knew what Ian meant quite well " but if a day comes by that you want to fall in love, then fall in love and leave everything behind"
" You say that but..." Ian was about to say something but he quietened up.
Josh understood anyways, he knew that he himself was doing what he told Ian not to do.
"But I still wish you can do it"
"Aren't we both alphas anyways..." Ian spoke lowering his head, resting his forehead against his kneecaps.
"You never cared about those things before though" Josh replied.
" Because those were mostly people who just wanted to sleep with me, a physical relationship is different from an emotional relationship...ah I'm not even making sense anymore!" Ian ruffled up his own hair.
" It's okay, you can" Josh reassured him.
Ian turned his head a little, looking at Josh with his cheek still resting against his knees.
"You took a shower in this weather?"
Josh didn't reply though Ian got it anyways.
"Are you really okay with this? If that guy is forcing you, I can break his jaw for you? "
" Ah, whose jaw are you going to break?" Nicolas entered the room too with a little smirk.
" Yours! " Ian replied rather frowning at him. Nicolas only chuckled a bit, his behavior infront of Ian was completely different from the side he showed to Josh.
Infront of Ian he was rather a weak sly cunning man who was never serious however infront of Josh he was a serious and a scary man.
Nicolas saw Josh and his expression changed a bit, he grabbed the other male's wrist, pulling him up.
"Hey" Ian got a bit annoyed since Nicolas pulled Josh away, though he literally took Josh to the dresser, seating him down and plugged the hairdryer in.
"You'll catch a cold" He spoke with a changed tone of voice which surprised Ian a bit, because he normally spoke with a sly manner.
He gently used the dryer over those red strands.
That expression again... sometimes he'd see an unfamiliar expression on Nicolas's face, that expression full of contempt yet the care with which he held the other guy's hair....
Ian got up from the ground too.
"Say, Nicolas..."
Ian asked the man " I know that Josh is trying to avenge his family...but why are you doing this all? What makes you related to all of this?"
Ian asked since he knew nothing about Nicolas, he only knew that this guy was the lawyer of Strauss estate and someone Josh knew and trusted.
He didn't like the man though, he'd always found him quite fake.
Though things would probably make more sense for him if he knew.
Though even Josh was introduced to him by Nicolas, at first he didn't trust him either because he was defensive but overtime he came to do so...Nicolas he still couldn't understand....
"Mmm you can just say I have a good heart" Nicholas spoke dramatically placing his hand on his chest.
" Blehhh, good heart yeah sure!" Ian acted all disgusted, Nicolas had dodged it again.
"Ah ah Tonight you'll return to Strauss mansion won't you?" Nicolas turned the conversation.
" Ugh don't remind me! Thinking about it gives me the creeps!" Ian spoke being literally disgusted by the thought.
"Tomorrow's gonna be a new start" Nicolas smirked " Has Kirihara Mari approached you yet???"
" Huh?" Ian raised a brow at that question and then realized something "you knew she would find me??!!" Ian got somewhat mad.
Nicolas didn't answer, he only smirked which made Ian sure that he was expecting it, he turned to look at Josh "Did you know too?"
He asked Josh, though Josh didn't reply, he sat there quietly while Nicolas was drying his hair.
"That woman, kinda reminds me of myself haha" Nicolas shrugged "Well?"
Ian felt annoyed but he took out the card Mari had given her. Nicolas took it and smirked.
"Gotta get ourselves wedding outfits" Nicolas unplugged the dryer.
" Huh we're doing it?? " Ian was completely surprised.
" What do you mean? I'm totally up for wedding food!" Nicolas said acting confused.
" Huh??? Didn't you say we're doing this to use Kirihara Mari???" Ian argued.
" Wow Ian, I didn't think you were a heartless guy like that, to think you were a heartbreaker... !" Nicolas spoke being dramatically disappointed.
" Huhhh??!!! You're not making sense anymore!!!" Ian got seriously confused in the head.
"Get ready" Nicolas whispered close to Josh's ear who nodded.
"Where are you both going??" Ian asked since both Nicolas and Josh started to dress up with more layers.
" No matter what, you must return to the Strauss mansion tonight and be my alibi" Nicolas turned serious yet again, Ian gulped at that expression.
His eyes were somewhat scary when he didn't wear those lens.
Josh took out a new baseball bat from one of the bags...
Ian knew that pattern well...
The dressing....
The grave looks on their face...
The weapon....
"You're gonna do it tonight aren't you?"
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"And you're still here?"
Wow, rude!
"I never said I was leaving just yet" I spoke rather sassily.
" I called Aoi" She replied.
" Huh!!!! Why???!!"
Damn this woman, what's wrong with letting me stay for a little, it's not like I'm gonna destroy her house or something!
"Never go to bed without sorting out a fight or you can't wake up with the same feelings for each other anymore"
She replied.
Eh....
What's that supposed to mean..?
" I-" I was about to speak when the door bell rang.
Mari san took no time in getting to the door, does that woman really want to get rid of me that badly huh??!
Eh...Aoi? She looks horrible...
"You look horrible" Mari san spoke my thoughts aloud.
She didn't say anything just walked in, she was still dressed in yesterday's clothes, her hair hadn't been combed, her eyes looked somewhat swollen.
This is what makes me agitated! This is why I....!
She suddenly sat on the floor on her knees infront of me...
It came as a surprise so I instinctively moved back, though she put her hands down and rested her forehead against the ground.
Eh....???
"Wow" Mari san ended up saying, almost forgot she was there...
But what are you doing Aoi???
She didn't reply or move, but kept her head down...
This isn't right...
"Aoi what are you doing, get up" I ended up squatting down and grabbing her shoulders trying to make her sit up but she wouldn't budge...
The fact that this woman would probably go mad if I were to disappear one day....
....it kills my heart the most!!!
"Aoi!" I pretty much yelled at her yet again.
This is what really makes me mad at her!!
This was the first time, I'd seen her act such miserably...
I don't want it like this!!!
"Hey Aoi, why don't you stop, he clearly hates you acting that way" Mari san interrupted and Aoi somewhat flinched, she ended up lifting her head but she was still sitting on her knees.
"Turns out your love story is shittier than mine"
Huh? This damn woman!
"What do you mean by that?" Though those words caught Aoi's attention anyways.
"You both don't understand the first thing about each other, at this rate I should be his lover instead" Mari san replied.
Oye! That's going too far!
" Mari!" Aoi ended up getting angry too, she stood up and faced Mari san.
"Me, everyone knows what I'm like, they know and understand but what about you? Who actually knows you Aoi?" Mari san walked a step closer.
" Both of you calm down! " I tried to mediate between the two.
"You don't get to have a say either, it's your fault too that you just let your partner protect you the whole while without trying to understand how much she actually needed you to protect her!"
For some reason Mari san decided to turn on me instead as I tried to stop her.
But neither of us had anything to say after Mari san said that aloud, all we could do was to look away from one another and lower our heads...
"You're both so pathetic, I can't believe I actually looked upto having a relationship like yours" Mari san said yet again...
Ah...
At times like this....
" We're sorry Mari san"
I bowed and ended up taking Aoi by the wrist.
I ended up walking past Mari san holding Aoi's wrist...
.....for a few seconds there, it felt like...
... I saw Mari san smiling...
Was that my imagination...?
I ended up taking Aoi out of the Kirihara mansion, letting her wrist loose once we reached the car.
We didn't exchange a word, I just opened the door of the passenger seat for her and she somewhat complied silently.
I took the driver's seat and held my hand out as she placed the keys over my palm.
It was a silent journey back home...
I was probably trying to form words in my mind, she was too... I think
The moment she unlocked the door, she turned to say something yet stopped...
So I got in first, feels.. relaxing to be back hom....
"Natsu..." She whispered.
"Aoi san, I want to take a bath" I told her and she nodded.
She'd always prepare one for me, heating the bathroom and preparing the bathtub so I wouldn't catch a cold..
I ended up going to our room first, without hearing her out and thew my bag on the bed.
I should unpack ... This is stupid...
I shouldn't have done this... It's gonna leave a mark on her, she'll forever be insecure about this...
I shouldn't have done this...
"Natsu, the bath" She peeked in from the corner of the door without coming in...
Ah... It's that look, when a stray animal is afraid to approach you... She just looks like one...
I grabbed a pair of clothes and walked to the door, she cleared the path for me, she's being vary...
"I can't wash my back.." I whispered to her as I passed by, she followed as I expected.
She helped me undress, it'd been difficult to do so lately, although I didn't put as much weight, this baby's probably tiny, yet still, it aches everywhere...
I stood under the shower first.
"Aren't you gonna take off your clothes? " I asked her, only then she started to strip, it's like she's only doing what I tell her, nothing more, nothing less.
Extending my hand I pulled her under water by the wrist.
I think I've grown alot in recent years, I'm almost as tall as her but she looks a bit taller, I still have to tip toe if I want to kiss her from this angle.
Before I'd realized it, my hands acted on their own and I did pull her face down a bit to lock lips with her.
"I'm sorry..."
I ended up whispering those two words that lit up her mortified expression and she finally looked me in the eyes.
"All these years... I've only let you one sidedly protect me" I told her and she grabbed my shoulders.
" I don't hate it! I want to protect you!" She spoke yet hurting me a little again with her grip.
" I know" I placed my hand on her cheek, tolerating the pain without pushing her away
"But Aoi isn't it unfair? For you to be the only one investing into our relationship? Aoi do you want me as your lover or a possession that you can protect? "
I asked her and she became silent.
" I only did that... Because you're a good person, I didn't want to let you live in guilt and regret... I just want you to be happy! " She finally replied.
" Aoi san, I'm sorry I made you into this..." I replied abruptly cutting her off.
" No you did nothing! I-" She went off yet I cut her again.
" That day!" I said rather loudly and then relaxed my tone as she quietened up " you lied to me that day too didn't ,you...I accidentally killed that man who attacked Alex"
Her eyes widened " You knew..?"
I couldn't help but nod rather guiltly
" There's no way I wouldn't know"
Even though it was self defense that time....It was me and my guilt....I wanted to believe what she'd told me that day....It was hard to swallow the fact that a man had died by my hands....
So there...I believed in her knowing that man had no pulse...
"I dragged you down because of my own guilt, because you told a lie that I wanted to believe in... I'm responsible for this..."
I don't know if it was the shampoo or probably the water that stung my eyes but for some reason I felt them burning as the water was flowing down our bodies..
"Aoi san I'm more horrible than you think... I've messed you up... I'm sorry... I'm.. really sorry...."
I couldn't face her anymore, all I could do was look down at our feet.
She didn't say anything, just stood there.
"This time...I don't really remember what happened..but..."
But... there's a part of me that...
....for some reason I couldn't say it..
"You felt relieved knowing that woman is not alive" It was as if she'd completed those words that I couldn't bring myself to say.
"I really am a horrible person.." I whispered...
I murdered a person and yet why do I feel that way..... ??!
" Mari was right" Aoi replied, I looked up at her only to see an expression full of disappointment.
"I don't understand you at all"
She turned off the tap and walked to the bathtub, slipping and sitting in.
I ended up doing the same, though sitting on her opposite so that we were actually facing each other.
The look on her face had turned dry yet again. I didn't like it, because I couldn't understand what that face meant...
"When I was younger, my parents were never home.. the maids in my house used to abuse me out of their inferiority complex.. " She started out of nowhere.
What is this!? This is the first time I'm hearing about this....?!!
"This was all before Haruka san came into my life.. " She turned her face to look at me and smiled gently "Why are you so surprised ? It's neither your fault nor his that I'm like this... "
Aoi san...
" .... if anything you have turned me into a person who protects rather than harms... " She mumbled
" Mari san really is right... " I ended up whispering.
" I kinda hate her for this, now I'm showing a really uncool side of myself" She somewhat ranted.
" No....It makes me feel you're more understandable than before.. and more....real.." I replied.
"I'm not really proud of the things I've done" She said " I only wanted to show you the things that I was proud of... "
" Me too... But that has pushed us towards a superficial relationship... I feel like I know nothing about you.. " I replied.
" In the end both of us couldn't be honest with each other.. so I guess it has.. " She somewhat agreed and held my foot up kissing at my ankle.
I slowly pulled my leg away and moved towards her, positioning myself.
"Aoi san could you tell me more about yourself"
" Okay..." She replied placing her hands over my waist.
"However..."
"Yeah?" I whispered straddling on top of her gently grinding myself against her.
"Natsuro san, what do you think you're doing?" She asked with a super serious mood.
Eh?
Eh....?
Didn't she kiss my ankle because she was in mood??
Did I get it wrong??
Wait....?
Eh....???
"Turn around I'll wash your hair"
She said looking completely down and disinterested.
Eh?
Wash hair? That's it?
"You okay? You're red in the face?" She had the nerve to ask me that!!!!
" Wash hair huh? Wash hair then!!!"
" Eh? why are you suddenly angry again??"
" Huh?! I'm not angry at all!!!!"
"You're definitely angry!!!"
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"SPARE MY LIFE PLEASE!!"
The man crawled forth with a crippled leg which had definitely been crushed till the bone. He'd been dragging that rubbery flesh around whilst begging for mercy as the man hovered over him.
"Spare my life please" the red haired man repeated the wounded man's words and burst into laughter till there were tears glistening in his eyes, he squatted down and grabbed the man by his hair, pulling his head up with his black gloved hand
"but you didn't spare mine..."
He whispered with a shiver in his voice as tears rolled down his cheeks.
"You went on went on went on went on went on went on-"
He went into a trance like state in the midst of it, confusing the wounded man under him.
"Hey, watch the show carefully, you're our guest of honor today!!!"
The redhead suddenly blurted out scaring the hell outta the wounded man since he'd been frozen for a few seconds there.
"Was what you said to her"
His voice trembled as he said that, he laughed and cried at the same time.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I beg you! I'll do whatever you say! Just spare my life! " The man began to beg but Josh only stood up and put his shoe over the man's face cleaning the mud under it upon his face.
"Heh, anything you say?" The third voice made the wounded man hopeful.
" The lawyer of Mr. Strauss! Thank goodness! You're here! Help me! This man! He's crazy! He's trynna kill me!!!"
The man threw his arms forward trying to reach Nicolas, who walked forth and grabbed Josh by the face kissing him passionately instead, standing on top of the guy.
"What's going... On...??!" The guy mumbled with widened eyes.
" Haha, can't you see? I'm trying to help you , why don't you crawl out while I have fun with him haha? " Nicolas said parting lips only to hungrily kiss the other yet again after saying that, he even put his tongue in and sucked on the other's mouth crazily till Josh pulled away frowning while being completely out of breath.
The man under them was beyond shocked "You- You traitor!!!" He yelled only to get kicked by Nicolas in the face so violently that his front tooth popped out.
"Shutup you vermin" Nicolas looked down upon the man and spoke with a deep voice.
Josh dragged the baseball bat against the ground whilst wiping his mouth with his gloved hand, smudging some blood over his lips...walking around the man to his back.
"NO NO NO-"
In the very first few seconds his eyes popped out, but he hadn't died just yet , Josh would give him some time after each hit just so he could feel the whole thing slowly.
At first it was the eyes, slowly his hands shivered by each hit, the whole body displayed tremors, the second hit made his skull crack, the fourth hit made him spit out blood...
His whole body trembled like a fish out of water with each hit.
The sixth hit was the heaviest, he'd been dead by then but it caused alot of blood to gush out, his tongue was also hanging out like a butchered wild pig
Nicolas had turned away by then, but Josh didn't stop until he'd managed a few more hits, till he could feel his body go light....
Till the darkness on him grew again.. the darkness that rather healed the wounds of a certain time, certain day a certain years ago...
Nicolas started spreading gasoline all over the place, letting Josh have his sweet time.
While a man hid outside, under the corner of a window of the house....
.....Trembling yet holding his mouth tightly shut not to make a single sound.....