Understanding

Katsuki Bakugo set the extra mug on Red's nightstand, drinking his own tea as he waited. He had felt sick, living through her memories. It didn't help that Brainiac's words kept running through his head like a broken record, either.

-"You think dragging a small part of the truth out of her, after yelling that her struggle to be here is an insult to your precious little dream, suddenly means you understand? You understand nothing of what happened that week!"-

Brainiac had been right. He hadn't had a fucking clue. And after spending so much of his time trying to figure her secrets out, he now wished he hadn't.

He couldn't get the image out of his mind of Red screaming on the gym floor as she clawed at her ears, her memory flashing around him. It had sounded just like the screaming from the night he first broke down her door.

Before, he had never wanted to hear the screaming again because it kept him up and haunted him. Now, he never wanted to hear it again because he knew what she was screaming about. And because it would haunt him if he couldn't physically remind himself, and her, that she was here with him. It's hard trying to remember it was in the past, when he had seen and felt it only hours ago.

Brainiac may have been right in calling him a bully at the time, but he had been wrong about him understanding nothing. By that match he had already started to realize what his assumptions about her had blinded him to. He had already begun to piece together that it wasn't a false illusion he saw at the USJ, after she had yelled back at him earlier in the festival. He had even begun to realize that, in his mission to keep from getting too close to the drunken woman he had labeled as irresponsible, he had missed something that everyone one else seemed to have already picked up on.

It had been so obvious, how had he not seen before that moment? The Monkey bodyguard, the teachers not using her real name, the school allowing her to drink, her jumpiness, her desperate drinking during the alarm, the screaming that night…

Red returned to the room in her pajamas, damp hair falling in tangles around her shoulders. He didn't say a word as she pulled her hair back into a braid and replaced the bandages around her ears. He pretended not to notice her hands shaking. He pretended not to see all the scars there that the shorter layers of her hair usually hid.

Watching her carefully, he frowned. He wasn't stupid. It was obvious the woman was playing at some game of 'I'm fine'.

Besides the break in her composure the morning after the party, he hadn't seen any reaction out of her. It was like she walked into the shower broken, and for good reason, and had walked out like it had never happened.

The only time it had come close was when Hawks goaded her yesterday. And today…

His eyebrows furrowed as he watched her.

She should be screaming. She should be crying. She should be breaking down. It hadn't even been a few months, and she had been held captive for a week apparently, been in the hospital after the USJ, been drugged at a party, and been informed that she was involved with the Hero Killer... He had seen the memories, and he wouldn't blame her cracking.

But she hasn't.

Red sat on the edge of her bed, frowning. She reached to trace around her ears, only to find the bandages there, and sharply pulled her hand away.

"Drink your damn sugar water before it gets cold." Katsuki ordered, taking another sip out of his own.

He ignored her soft 'thank you' as she picked up the drink, giving her an embarrassed 'tch' as she looked his way.

They sat like that for a while, his eyes on the red skin in the crook of her elbow, her neck, and her wrists.

"I'm fine, Bakugo."

He glanced up at her face as she spoke, wishing he could read her mind as well. But she broke eye contact, bringing the covers up to her chin as she faced away.

And just like after her shower the morning following the party, she closed off once again. As if today had never happened.

~~~~~~

It wasn't long before it started. Katsuki obviously hadn't been able to stay asleep, despite the hot tea. If he was honest, he would admit it was because he figured this would happen. So of course, instead he blamed the tea.

He sat up in his bed, letting the covers fall off his bare chest as he rubbed his eyes. The whimpering continued, and he figured he didn't have long before it turned into screaming. If he kept waking up and thinking about what he had seen today, he'd probably scream too.

He thought about when she had shuffled over to him in his room, blanket wrapped around her like a child during a thunderstorm. How her small hand rested on his arm, the woman sleeping quietly.

-"I hope I didn't keep you up when I slept in your room... I was trying not to. I usually don't have nightmares when I'm touching someone. Takes me out of my own mind, I guess."-

As she started thrashing, he let his feet touch the cold floor. Was he really considering this? She had seeked him out last time, right? He wasn't going to get any sleep if she started screaming anyway. And to be honest, having her near him would remind him that those memories he lived through today were just that. Memories.

Katsuki let out a tired 'tch', and walked across the room. He could see the sweat on her moonlight pale skin, and sighed, waking her up.

This time he was ready for her fight or flight response, bracing himself against the outside bed frame to avoid being pulled into her flailing fists. He let out a grunt of effort as she panicked, eventually whispering, "Fucking stop already, shit!"

To his surprise, she did stop. Her scared blue eyes blinked back at him before closing off, frustrating him. "Er, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Her voice was hoarse, and she cleared her throat as she looked around her, taking in the room.

He was too tired to care about tact at this point, knowing she'd just say she was fine if he offered instead. "Tch, move over."

"W-what?"

He rolled his eyes at her flushed face, visible even in the dark room. "Did you lose your hearing in your sleep?"

She narrowed her eyes, and he could tell how guarded the action was. Looking away in annoyance, he offered his hand for the little doubtful woman.

He tried not to seem surprised by how soft her small hand felt in his large calloused ones, and thought about his reasoning instead for the little mind reader.

It wasn't pity, or feeling bad, or any of that shit. It was pretty selfish, honestly. He just wanted her with him to reassure himself that she was still there, that way he wouldn't think about what he had seen.

Maybe also to prove that he understood now, since he hadn't understood when he confronted her at the Sports Festival.

And last, to make the screaming go away, along with his own troubled thoughts.

He looked back and met her eyes as she looked at him.

"This is just so I can actually get some damn sleep tonight. Got it, Freckles?" He grunted.

It wasn't.

She could close herself off as much as she wanted. He had spent weeks just trying to figure her out, and that was when he wasn't trying to get back her damn attention. So he didn't mind waiting now either. If she wasn't going to reach out, he would.

She nodded, scooting over. As he climbed in, he let his arm rest on her waist like he had the last time they did this, and she closed her eyes and sighed in relief.

"I know."

Her tone told Katsuki that it wasn't the words he said out loud that she was responding to.

Letting his hand fall on her waist, he finally felt less on edge. She was here. Not in that lab, not on the ground at the USJ, not screaming, not with Brainiac, not with Monkey or Deku or anyone else. She was here, with him. Since her eyes were closed, Katsuki allowed himself to finally relax, before closing his eyes as well.

And it was quiet for the rest of the night.