The Alpha Years: Love Changes

I started my high school years with Pikachu, PJ, and Christian by my side. I felt like I could get through everything with them next to me. Then came another change, I had to babysit even more than usual. The previous December both the foster parents' daughters had kids. One had her second child, the other had her first. This meant I was giving up my time to be with my friends so they would have some time away with their boyfriends. You heard that right. They weren't married yet, but each had kids. I was the de facto babysitter of three kids that varied on their levels of being able to aggravate me. Juju no longer was a helpful little boy, but wanted to be called Bubba and had issues with anger toward his sister. His sister was nicknamed Nana because it was her first word. I still don't know why they let her listen to rap and hip hop during the formative years. Her cousin was the new Juju, but I called him Yaya since I still didn't feel like he deserved to be treated like a second-hand version of his older cousin. Yes, as a foster uncle I had favorites. Yaya was always treated badly by his cousins and never got the approval of his mother or father. I felt like he wanted to be watching anime with me because he wasn't judged. Yes, he was less than a year old, but he was advanced for his age.

Back to my time at school. I did fine but still couldn't bring myself to ask PJ out. Overall, I noticed she was acting different around me. She seemed to be flirting, but I hadn't had any good interactions with it to really notice. Around December, I gave her an early Christmas gift. It was a necklace, not that expensive, but it took a few weeks of babysitting to get it. I found it and immediately thought of her. It was silver with a small blue heart at the end. I gotta say it now, the reason I chose it was deeper than it just being beautiful, it was also the fact that it had been considered an understated piece by the attendant. I had noticed something different about the blue heart when I saw it up close. The farther you get to the center the more the color deepens. It started out light blue on the outside and is almost purple at the center. To me, it was like looking at the ocean. I bought it for her because I felt like she was as beautiful as the sea. I never told her, but I noticed she would wear it during special days at school.

In two months, I wouldn't be around Pikachu or Christian as much. I had gotten into a fight with Pikachu, and Christian and I had differing views over certain things. I would rather be myself, while Christian chose to become a lot less crazy and we didn't see each other for a month. During that time, I started isolating myself again. The only person I would talk with was PJ. She invited me to a club, and I started going despite Christian getting involved with it. The club became closely knit, and I started thinking about getting others to join. I invited Emmanuel, but he never showed up. At the time, I had just started seeing Emmanuel as a comrade, but things would be easier after a few weeks.

After a few weeks, we got to spring break. I had to babysit the entire week but also planned a day to myself on that Saturday. It was a quince for a girl in my class, and I was ready for the break from babysitting and homework. I made sure I would wake up and be there on time. I had just woken up when the foster parents told me to go back to sleep because they would drive me. The time was 8 am, so I knew I had enough time for the bus. Yet, I didn't want to ruin my outfit, so I went back to sleep. I woke up to a shout in my face. Apparently, my phone was going nuts with messages from the quince. I checked the time, it was 5 pm. I would never make it with or without being driven, every message on the phone said, "where are you?" Or was a picture from the event. I missed the entire quince, and my phone was stolen by the foster parents for the messages notification going off since 2 pm. I was told it was my fault, and, if I wanted to go, I should have woken myself up. Despite what they told me, I was grounded and forced to babysit for free until the end of the school year. I went from the top of the world back to feeling like trash within 30 minutes of me waking up the second time. The following Monday, everyone had something to say about the quince. But I felt like an outcast for not going, I realized the foster parents did it on purpose. I started feeling like a tool to them and decided I wouldn't do as they say anymore.

Within a month, Emmanuel and I got pretty close. And the class got a choice for our end of the year trip. It was still a long way, but we chose to go out of town for a whole day. Our last trip was shared, but this one would be only for our class. Once again, I started planning on how to tell PJ how I felt. This time I made sure to prepare for a better gift, and I practiced my singing in case I had the chance to sing for her.

Before our final trip came up, we had a field trip for our History and Science Classes. Some of my classmates decided to bring something to do after the trip was done knowing we would have time. The field trip was okay, but after it was over the twin towers, Emmanuel, and a few others proudly brought out a basketball. Well, no one could find a court to play a game or two. And the coach couldn't remember if one was nearby. I asked the History teacher if there was any place nearby I could buy something to cool off. And that teacher started walking me to the nearest place she knew. I didn't plan on everyone else following us, but every person who wanted to play basketball followed us. One of the twin towers (I'll call him Sears) was starting to show off. We were on the top side of a wall with the river below us and the rest of the group on the far side. Well, Sears ended up getting distracted by a passing female jogger. The ball ended up in the river and it was borrowed. Every person on the top side went into a frenzy trying to get out of the basketball. Among the tactics were holding people over the wall, using bamboo on the side of the road as chopsticks, tying a shirt to the bamboo to use as a net, and all three at once. During that time, we got some weird looks from pedestrians and our teachers had a talk with the Park Rangers about what we were doing. All the Rangers gave was a cryptic warning saying to get it out before 'something pops it'. After we finally got it out, we had less than 30 minutes until the bus arrived. So, we kept walking to where everyone but myself thought there was a basketball court. We ended up outside the local zoo. And funny enough, my money had blown away during the basketball fiasco. I went back to school sweating like a pig, and everyone blamed me for their luck. Ah, simple times.

Anyway, we ended the year going out of town on the last day of school. I wanted to ride with PJ and her family, just to get to know them. But was forced with one of the school secretaries because of the incident on the previous trip. Once again, my plan was getting a bit off. Then we got to the grounds of the Mo Ranch. It was amazing just walking in, but I had to push my luck. I saw a coffee machine. I had never drunk coffee but heard it helped wake you up, and I needed to be wide awake for what I planned. I had 3 cups of it and felt like I was ready to sleep rather than participate. I decided I would swim in the river, and I found out I was a pretty bad swimmer. I led the group to other activities and would do my best to talk alone with PJ. To my surprise, she was following a student who had just joined us. Ed had the habit of doing that, but PJ hadn't seemed attracted to him as far as I knew. Inside, I was beginning to break. PJ and I were already close, but I decided to watch how it goes rather than say anything. The first of many mistakes to come.

The rest of the trip was a blur. I only remember getting back and seeing the look on my brother's face. The foster parents left him there for 5 hours after school ended because they didn't want to make two trips. I never thought they could be that cruel. And the rest of the summer went with no big moments.