chapter 37

It was dark.

All around me was black. Without any light to lead on my way, I'm stuck here alone, There's nobody here to help me, I couldn't speak a word out of my mouth anymore. Rapidly wrapped my arms around my knees, my whole body trembles by my sight.

A familiar scene was played before my eyes repeatedly. This is the third time I need to look at the same memories when I was a little kid. at first, I had so many words to say to that person but for some reason, I could never move my body. All I could do was only just silently sitting there, looking at the younger version of me that was hiding behind the door of my mother's chamber on that day. The day when father left my mother in annoyance after he couldn't accept that man's existence in our family.

****

" Uh... " She groaned in exhausted after she fought with his husband, looked at her womb that growing bigger each day make she quickly pretended to smile while caressing for it.

" I'm sorry you need to hear those words, my child. Later, I'll talk to your father again. "

When she was talking to herself, suddenly she realized a single gaze was looking at her intensely from the door from all this time, peeking on herself, a child silently stood there, hiding behind the door with her beautiful green eyes that were gleaming in the dark, a pair of eyes that resembles her father so much. " ....Mum.. "

" Oh my, Laire. Come here, darling. " chuckles when she looks at her daughter who was looking at her from afar, Jenna quickly called her daughter to get near her. Slowly, Claire walked towards her mother with her face beaming in delighted when Jenna genuinely smile at her.

" Here we go. "

Jenna grabbed Claire's tiny body and slowly put her on her lap with a smile. " What are you doing staring at mum from the door, Laire? do you love your mother that much? "

Chuckled when Jenna catches her in bull's-eye, Claire hugs her mother tightly and nodded confidently.

" Yesh! Lair love mum thish mush! " The 2 years old Claire, who was still struggling to talk of some word, begin to make a signal as to show how bigger her loves is for Jenna with her small hand.

" Oh my. Then, would you love your little sibling the same as you love mum, Laire? "

" Ofcoush! "

" Heh. Good girl, you're going to be a good sister. Mum proud of you. " patting her daughter's head with a big grin on her face, Jenna quickly embrace Claire's little body into her chest.

" I love you, Laire. My daughter, my child. I'm happy just by having you in my life. "

" Mum, Lair too, and baby too! love you foreber! "

" ..... "

Claire who was looking at the younger self of her being hugged by her mother, Unconsciously shed some tears when she looks at the same scenes over and over again.

" Back then, if I said I wouldn't love him just like father did, Would you still alive, mum..? would everything changes,? I've once felt through the feeling of death and it was hurt when we're all alone..." mumbled alone just by herself, Claire shuddering in sadness, she knows that words would never get to her mother. it was just an illusion from her memories.

" ..... "

" Then are you regretting my death just like your father? you hate your younger sibling even though it was my illness that takes away my own life? "

" ....! "

" ..mum..?! "

Claire looks at the illusion in front of her in puzzled. she looks at Jenna that was looking at her with a glare in her eyes. mother wasn't supposed to hear any word from me at all. it's my memories of her.. right..?

Suddenly without a word from herself, Jenna gets up from her seat after she put her daughter away from herself. Walked away from Claire in deep silence, Jenna finally turns her face to look at Claire with a hurting expression.

" Mum..? " wonder by her mother's strange actions, Claire rapidly gets up from her seat in shock when her mother seems to be able to talk with her. Is this a dream too perhaps..? once again, she looks around. it's still the same darkness as before but the younger self of me has already gone and now it was just me and that familiar figure of my mother alone.

" I'm disappointed in you, Laire.. " with a sudden sorrowful voice from her mouth, Jenna smile in a hurting expression on her pale face towards Claire who was looking at her in silence, still dumbfounded with the situation that changes after the scenes have repeated for the third time already.

" Why did you said that, mum. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it at all...! I take it back! I'm sorry.. please, mum.. don't leave me..! " begin to beg at her mother in tears, Claire grasps her breath in sorrow and begin to shake in trembled.

" You said you would love him just like you love me, Laire. "

" ..! I-I am..! I love him just like you wanted, mum! please. come back. Don't leave me again. please..! " kneeling before her mother while bending her head in guilty, Claire loses in her tears. Crying like a mad person before her mother that she misses so much for her whole life.

" ... "

" ... Laire.. "

" ..? yes,.. mum..? "

When her eyes reflexes to look at her mother who was calling for her, She stunned in silence again. Her body once again couldn't move just like before, Her words stuck on her throat. A wave of shock resonated from the core of her body. Pain, frustration, and fear joined in the mayhem as her vision slowly blurred because of her tears, just like on that day, She could only look at a man that suddenly appeared behind her mother and approach Jenna out of nowhere while she was trembling behind the door in frightened. She knew that familiar shade of the figure of that man behind Jenna. Her blood turns to ice when she finally sees his face as he finally revealed his head out from the cloak he was wearing at that time. it was him. Finally, I could recall the event on that day again.. but why now?

" Please.. don't touch her again.. how could you do that to her.. " crying in regrets when the same scene repeats before of her own eyes while there's nothing she could do just like back then. Claire can only cry in sore when that familiar man, eventually take out a knife from his hand just like that day and mercilessly stabbed Jenna from the back with a big grin, he finally smirked victoriously.

" You bastard..!!! How could you call yourself a human!!? " turn into a rampage in her state when she couldn't bear the sorrow anymore, Claire tried to get up but she couldn't. Even she yell and scream at the scene before her, even how hard she tried to prevent it, the past wouldn't change at all no matter what.

" Ha. "

The man suddenly looks at Claire with his usual charming smile. " You can't stop me even now, little miss. "

" ...! "

" ...again..! why... why I couldn't stop you back then..?! please.. stop.. "

" You're still young. There no chance that you'll remember how your mother died. What a pity that you saw the scene where your mother died before your own eyes. "

Jenna hence collapsed to the floor before Claire just like that day. Slumping to the ground like a dead person. The same scenes as that time get played again in front of her once again.

" Arghh! mum..! Ah! Ah! No..!! Not again.. !!! "

Blood begins to cover the whole floor, red and stink. Thick and fresh, make Claire shudders in shock while screaming like a mad person from afar. Memories gradually came back into her mind once again. She has already know who's the culprit of her mother's death for all this time but she couldn't remember and now..., Claire standing there in trembling, gaze at her mother that bleeding right before her own eyes.

" Just be a good girl and forget anything that happened just now. It's a good thing that I had the mercy to spare your life even though you saw my face." walk away from Jenna's body and acted like it was nothing, the man wears his cloak again and disappear through the air with a cynical smile.

" ..!! "

" Mum..!!! " immediately run towards Jenna in hurried when she could move her body again after that man has left them, Claire's face begins to cover up with tears again. Her head hurts after she remembers the whole thing that has happened in the past. Claire begins to groans in sadness beside her own mother's corpse, just the sound of her crying echoed through the whole place. She alone there, crying in deep grief.

" Why... out of the people, why her..?! "

" It's time for you to know the truth that you've to forget. "

"? "

" .... " slowly turns her face towards the direction where the voice came from, Claire begins to frown at the familiar voice she just heard.

" Soon the banquet will be held. That day, get prepare. "

" ...what? "

" ...Ugh! ah! " a sudden force out of nowhere suddenly make my head felt like it was going to burst open! a bunch of memories is flooding into my head mercilessly. Like a puzzle that slowly gathers piece by piece, a wave of memories hit my head as a rumble of thunderstruck. Headaches begin to cover up my head, Aches and pains she currently felt suddenly make Claire pinch her head crazily while trying to bear her throbbing head in deep pain.

" Ugh..! arghh! stop! "

" Stop it...! "

" It's hurt...!! "

" ..re..!! "

" Lady Claire! "

" Claire Stella Romanoff! "

Gasp!

Open her eyes in stunned, Claire blinks her eyes in puzzled by the shout voices that make her startled from her nightmare,

" ...? "

Pant in exhausted, her eyes reflexes catches such a worried gaze from someone towards herself as soon as she wakes up from her deep sleep. A familiar guy yet unfamiliar expression was looking at her with worries written all over his cold stoic face, frown by his unfamiliar actions, Claire immediately reaches her hand towards that person in silence.

Pang!

" ....! "

" Don't touch me. " with a fierce face and gaze from herself, Claire trembled hand begins to aches after she slapped the face of a person in front of herself out of nowhere. With a disgusted expression, Claire bites her lips until it bleeding and glare at Adam with a cynical eye.

" Don't touch me with your filthy hand. "

" ...! "

" My lady! your words.. "

Raise his right hand to stop the servant from talking any further, Adam immediately turns the chaotic atmosphere because of Claire's rude behavior earlier towards him into a silent atmosphere only with his cold gaze towards them.

" I'm glad you're finally wake up, my fiancée. I'll call the physician to check on your condition later. " with his eyes that tenderly glanced on Claire who was holding her wrist while avoiding her face from his direction, Adam sighed softly.

" ..Lady Claire. "

" .... "

Bend his head when Claire just silent on her bed even after he called for her name, Adam slowly clench his fist on his lap and let go a deep sigh once again.

" Leave. " with his usual cold voice that gradually loses his tenderness, every servant in the room rapidly shudder in goosebumps and quickly make their way to the outside without any word from their mouth, fear with their young master change of behavior towards them like always whenever he's mad.

" Are you alright, my fiancée? " begin to talk in gentleness again, Adam looks at Claire tenderly with an unfamiliar worried gaze in his red dark eyes.

" ..... "

" Talk to me, Claire. " begin to beg towards the silence Claire, with a soft voice, his left hand slowly reach Claire's pale yet slightly red cheeks and gently pull her face to make her look on his way. His big thumb tenderly caresses Claire's bleeding lips and slowly his eyes gaze on her lips for a while before he turns his gaze to silently stare into Claire's green eyes deeply.

" Please... Claire.."

" Leave me alone. " her eyes begin to glare at him again. Before she got seduced and melt by his tender attitude towards her, she should be harsh to him and make him leave. Claire got her reason as to why she behaves like this but it's not the right time to talk about it with Adam before she found that person first.

" Please.. your grace.. just leave me alone. " while talking in a low voice, her hand busily pulled the blanket to cover up through her body, pretended to be tired may make this guy leave me alone perhaps.

" .... "

" ...sigh. "

" Then, I'll head out now. Please rest well, my fiance." get up from his seat in disappointment when Claire seems like she doesn't want to talk to him at all, slowly Adam turns his way towards the door in despair.

" .... " before he closes the door, his eyes glanced at Claire's figure for a while before Adam slowly shut the door with a gloomy expression on his face.

" Oh my! young master! " immediately stand beside Adam with a worried face, Lenny quickly lean on a coat to his shoulder as to make her young master felt warm in this cold night.

" Look at how red and swollen your left cheek is because of her highness slapped young master's face earlier! How could the princess do that to you, young master! she should be grateful that you never leave her side even for a second since the day she loses consciousness! you even barely eat just to take care of her too..! you can't... !"

" Shut your mouth, Lenny. " glare on Lenny, who was standing beside him after he finally closed the door, Adam slowly glancing on the door with a deeper thought while ignoring the deafening old woman beside him right now.

" But young master..! it must be so hurting since it becomes swollen like that.. "

" I could bear this little pain, Lenny. " Adam who was still looking at the door with a confused expression written all over his stunning face immediately glance a little at Lenny, slowly his hand went up to touch his chest which had been very sore since leaving Claire's room earlier.

" ...but I wonder, Lenny... why there's another place that hurt so much besides my cheeks. "

" ..? pardon? " trying to grasp the meaning of her young master's words, Lenny silently looks at him with a big frown on her face. her mind rapidly trying to guess what was the young master mean by those words.

" nothing. " rapidly take a step in a hurry after he feels a little uncomfortable with his thumping chest that never behaved like that before, Adam walks towards his room with his usual cold aura begin to grow even more than before, Adam just silent while Lenny follows him from behind in hesitation.

" Lenny, call the physician to check on lady Claire later. " pride when he walks through the mansion hall with his intense aura, Adam naturally commands Lenny with his usual furious face.

" Yes, young master. "

" Ah. actually, I had something to tell you, young master. " hesitated to talk, Lenny begin to rush on keeping her pace with Adam.

" What is it. "

" Actually, Sir Jade... "

" Jade? " frowns when that name gets mentioned by his head maid, Adam turns his face to look at the hesitated Lenny.

" Ah, actually, Sir Jade has arrived a while ago.."

" No need, madam. " suddenly a voice interferes with when Lenny trying to whisper the news of his arrival at the Allardis mansion this evening.

Adam immediately stares at the person that slowly gets near him with a smile. Lift his chin and begin to smirk towards that person, Adam slowly dismissive hand-waving towards Lenny in silence.

" Look who's here. "

" Greeting to the young Lord Evans, Jade Pellon, the most loyal companion you ever had in your life has arrived to take over his role once again~ " with his usual cheeky smile, jade chuckle a little before Adam while kneeling in front of him as a respect actions towards his master.

" Ha. you better hold your responsibility genuinely after those long periods of a holiday I've given to you. "

Get up from his kneeling with a big grin, Jade nods his head with his beautiful smile on his charming face.

" Of course, my Lord! should I say that I missed you too? "