4. Found Myself
I am standing in front of the mirror at dressing table for awhile after done with my shower. I am staring myself, me that still youth and beautiful white skin - not me that already ugly because to busy dressing myself based own Duncan taste. The bitter smile showing at my face, imagine how fool I am to lose my own self like that. I laugh bitterly while my eyes look around the room.
The wardrobe that full of girly and softly color dress. Not all of those clothes are my taste, I'm not that girly - rise as a princess. My style more simple, I like trousers, t-shirts more. My clothes maybe look childish and simple, but at least that me. My gaze turned to dressing table that full of colorful make up or anything that I believe could make me beautiful more than Dora. ''What kind bull** is that?'' I scream inside my heart.
This kind of situation and irritated views makes me more uncomfortable. I emptied my irrelevant clothes from wardrobe angrily together with the whole make up that just ruin my skin. ''I hate all this...I hate all this....I HATE ALL THIS!" I angrily talk to myself while my tears keep flowing.
At the same time at the Dining room, Duncan with his cold face, starting take his breakfast expressionless without waiting Raya to eat. For awhile his brow knit tightly, He lost appetite suddenly and leave the table right away.
He is back to upstairs while his eyes keep staring the bedroom where he spend the night together with Raya. Duncan just standing there motionless. His staring keep many secret while his mind keep thinking of Raya. Suddenly his mind interrupted by loud voice inside the room.
Duncan run anxiety and "bang'' he open the door in rush. He shock about what he see right now and then turn his gaze to Raya that standing in front of dressing table confused. Her eyes getting bigger shocking and also confused while Duncan come to the room abruptly.
''Are you crazy?!'' Duncan come toward Raya abruptly, lift her up avoiding flakes of perfume bottles. ''What the hell are you doing?'' Duncan put her down on the bed while he staring her coldly.
Raya just keep silent, turn down her gaze avoiding Duncan eyes. ''Are you so eager to divorce me, Huh?!'' Duncan yield at her while shaking her body.
Her eyes slowly look to his eyes and try to open her mouth. There is nothing she can say, ''I just want to found myself.'' She talk softly while firm her fist tightly on her legs.
After hear that, Duncan slowly release his grip. He squat down in front of her and a glance Raya could see Duncan's eyes gently. But that sight is not long until he stand up then turn to door. ''You should remember, in previous life, this life, you only be my wife. I'm not gonna divorce. ah...Just let the servant clean this room, you better go down to breakfast.'' Duncan speak coldly, but don't know why if there is gentle side of his tone.
Raya dumbfounded looks how different Duncan behave. Her feelings began to erratic when she stare many flakes broken bottle from her perfume that she push accidentally not far from she standing before. ''Why my heart beating so fast? no...no....I don't want to lose myself again.'' Raya touch her chest then hit her cheeks to make her keep awake.