25th Dawn - Restart

Everything just keeps falling apart before me.

First is my relationship with Felicity, next is Madeline and Ruben's departure. I lost a friend, a family and a place to live. Though I eventually found another inn to stay in for a while, it's certainly different. It doesn't feel like home anymore. What's more, I still haven't landed on any apprenticeship and I no longer have a stable source of income.

That night when my friends left me, I felt miserable and just cried myself to sleep.

---

"Lily, didn't I tell you to stop running in your skirt?! Everyone will see your underwear!"

I only blow raspberry before giggling at Mother's mortified face. It seems like I've caused her trouble again. Though I did think I'm being way too childish at this age, I know that freedom like this won't last long. Mother said it so herself - that I must live at the present as much as I can.

Indeed, I should focus at the present. But looking at Mother's specter-like figure now, I can't help but feel like I want to go back. It still hasn't been a year, but I'm already missing her warmth and soothing voice.

Even now, Mother is very pretty.

She may have soot black hair and dark chocolate irises, but her frame resembles mine. Unlike me, she doesn't stand out in terms of appearance, but when it comes to personality and talent, she's one-of-a-kind. Mother also practices a lot of etiquettes for some reason. She's very knowledgeable and capable. Overall, she's a kind-hearted and endearingly charming woman.

"But what should I do, Mother...? At this point, I don't know where I should go anymore... I thought I'm beginning all over again, but it turned out that it's only getting worse..."

Mother then looks at me with a smile. When she tenderly touches my cheek, I find myself burying my face in it, scarlet eyes glistening with tears. Her gentle caress and reassuring presence only make me want to cry harder, though. I've grown fond with this kind of affection, after all, and I can always look vulnerable before her.

"The search for oneself doesn't stop with only one starting point, Lily. It has endless beginnings. What truly matters is how you'll face tomorrow again."

At that, my vision slowly blurs as Mother's figure eventually fades out of sight.

"Life may not give you what you want for now, but the thing is, life itself is already a gift..."

---

I wake up on the next day, eyes swollen from crying too much.

I feel lightheaded as I recall my solacing reverie. For some reason, I have dreamt of Mother. Her words still ring in my head. Her touch and scent also linger. It's just too good to be true, and even though the moment is nothing but fleeting, my chest remains robust as it feels like a hundred emotions is about to burst. No matter the reason why I've had that dream, I can't help but be grateful for it. Mother's words always help me get through everything. This time, I even had the chance to see and talk with her. That alone is enough to put my uneasiness to rest.

Then, with a newly-found strength, I eye a faint ray of light on the window sill. The sun is just about to rise, but then, I find myself already preparing to face the fresh start of a brand new day. Indeed, this only marks the beginning of an end.

"I should get serious from now on... First is my apprenticeship. It's now back to square one."

With that, I jump out of the bed and throw on my most comfortable clothes - a pair of flats, a plain white dress, and a cap. My meeting with Lewis will be later this afternoon, so I still have time to roam around. At first, I thought of finding a new job for now, but then, I figured that my time in Ruben's restaurant is already enough. The so-called interval that Madeline gave to me is now finished, which means there's no more time to goof around.

"That's why I'll pour all my attention on that apprenticeship this time."

Fortunately, the past months weren't entirely wasted. Aside from meeting my friends, I also got to know some parts of myself which I used to ignore or wasn't aware of before. Encounters lead to a dawn of tons of realizations, and the best that can take place is meeting oneself again.

Because of Madeline, I learned how I can still be proud of myself no matter how lacking I am. Ruben also taught me many things about people, and I was able to see them with my own eyes during my stay in his diner. Sol, on the other hand, had encouraged me to stay true to myself even if it meant being turned down by others. Then, there's Felicity who made me realize that not everything is what it appears to be, and that's exactly why I'm able to come with the conclusion that every setback is only but a setup - good or bad, things happen for a purpose.

"And what really matters is how I'll deal with them, right, Mother?"

Last but not the least, I still have Lewis with me. He helped me enhance my drawing and for that, it's only befitting that I see him as my very first instructor. He also likes imparting words of wisdom just like Mother. While he's around, I really feel like I can manage to land on an apprenticeship that I choose for myself.

"I'm not completely alone, and even when they're already not here, I'm not really lonely at all..."

Then, with my head held high, a refreshed smile gracing my features, I saunter outside the inn. Right now, I decided to visit a few places in town that I haven't been into yet. Felicity did tell me that I have to go and see the world for myself. I also feel like a walk would help me lift my mood and discover new things, which can probably take my mind off my problems.

And wandering around, I did.

I make my way to the plaza, the first place I visited on my second day in Ellicht. This reminds me of the time I was looking for an apprenticeship, and also the fact that I didn't really look around here before.

With that, I decided to go further until I eventually reach a crowded street.