We Can't

"Wait, no, I should apologize to you." He said, correcting himself.

What is this guy on now?

He brushed a hair lock of mine behind my ear. "I thought our April was oblivious like a goldfish, but she has showed us today that she's really like a cat."

Did he just call me dumb on animal terms? Tired of his gibberish, I tried to push him away so that I could have some space, but this guy wouldn't flinch! It's like I was pushing a wall. "What are you going on about?" I said frustrated, still pushing at his chest.

He grabbed both of my hands again and this time he pulled me towards him. With my head strained back, my eyes met with his sunglasses again.

"You lied to me." He sneered. "And I am mad about it."

I gulped. He figured out that I had lied to him about hurting myself. "What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to act oblivious to what he was saying.

He tutted with his fingers. "Don't act stupid to me, baby girl. You lied to me about hurting yourself, remember?"

Trying to keep a poker face, I could feel my soul leaving my body. I am dead. He's here to kill me. I'm sure of it, but I can't let my fear being shown on my face.

"So what? Are you going to kill me now?" I said, acting brave.

He chuckled. "Now why would I kill my reason to live?"

Not expecting that answer, I could feel myself heating up. "W-what are you saying!?" I said, flustered.

He stared at me and sighed, frustrated. "Fuck… I wish I could kiss you right now, but that means that I would risk blowing up my cover."

At this point, I became a tomato. "Shut up." I squealed out, covering my mouth with my hands to protect my lips.

"Why are you so cute?" He swooned.

"Can you just stop? Why are you here then if you're not here to kill me? You said that you were mad." I said, annoyed.

He groaned angrily. "Why the fuck did you have to destroy the mood. I even forgot that I was mad." He laid his hand on my shoulder and sighed.

"I wasn't angry that you lied to me about hurting yourself. I was angry about your reason for it." He gripped on to my shoulders harder, causing me to flinch from the pressure. "You were lying and threatening me to keep that tan boy safe." Unconsciously, I turned my head sideways from the proximity closeness of his face to mine.

The fact that his getup hid away his face expressions only heightened his scary demeanor.

"S-So what? I didn't want you to kill a good friend of my." I stammered.

"And that heroic behavior of yours is really endearing, but this time, it pissed me off. Do you think I care if a guy dies?" He growled into my ear.

I whimpered. "Why are you here, Jack?"

He leaned back, finally giving me space to breathe. "Because you had to lie for that bastard, I had to take out this blazing anger on someone."

I blinked a few times in realization and panic. "Y-You killed someone again?"

He chuckled. "That's right. Your best friend is lying somewhere at the bottom of the bay." He said darkly.

"Why did you do that, you asshole!? I even told him to not come close to me anymore. I was going to abide to your rules you shit-stupid-idiot of a stalker!?" I screamed while slamming my fists on to his chest trying to inflict some pain, but seeing how he did even flinch at my attack I cried in frustration.

"Why are you messing with my life!? I hate this shit! I hate it! I hate it!" I chanted.

He grabbed my hands, stopping my movement. I couldn't budge at all as I kept sobbing.

I could hear him exhale, frustrated. "Don't cry… I was lying. I haven't killed tan boy yet. I couldn't find out his address, so I killed some random man off the street." He groaned bitterly.

I could feel my legs unbuckle under me and, with a shaky breath, I clasped my hands together and thanked the heavens. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" I felt bad for the unknown man, but I couldn't stop my happiness when I knew that no one that I held dear was killed.

"I wouldn't do anything that will make you angry anymore." I said between sniffles.

He crouched down in front of me and stroked my head. "Let this be a lesson for you."

I nodded again.

He suddenly grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Let me also warn you, baby girl. Even though I know you would never try to hurt yourself, but if I EVER catch you thinking about it, you'll be chained to our bed and for every scar you make on your body, somebody's head will also start rolling. Do I make myself clear?" He said dangerously low.

Petrified, I couldn't move an inch.

"I want to hear it from your mouth baby girl."

"Yes." I said, just above a whisper.

"Good girl." He said happily. "Now go inside your apartment, wash yourself up and go to bed." He said like he was talking to child.

Annoyed by his tone, I scoffed, slapping his hand away. "Buzz off your being hella annoying. Argh, this is the worst." I scratched my head in frustration while standing up. He also stood up and chuckled.

"Ah yes, there's your love filled vocabulary. I was already getting tired of you acting sappy."

I glared at him. "Can you just leave now?"

I really just wanted to hit the shower and go to bed and forget what had happened today.

"I will see you later." He said mused.

"See me later? Where later?" I asked, worried that he would make a habit of ambushing me.

"Through my surveillance cameras, of course! I watch you all night long." He said proudly.

The goosebumps that were forming on my body caused me to shiver in disgust at his comment. I just inched slowly away backwards, grabbed my keys from the ground and entered hastily into my apartment.

"Love you too!" I could hear him yell from the outside. I just grumbled under my breath about how I wished that a bus or something would hit him.

Kicking off my shoes and removing my leather jacket, I walked further into what I thought was a safe place.

After taking a shower and a bath, I made some hot choco for myself and plunged myself into the couch; watching reruns of Friends on Netflix, but I couldn't really focus on it. Stuff that happened today clouded my mind. I slouched more into the couch, hugging my legs to my chest, depressed.

I was such a dick towards Cherry and Brandon no matter what I shouldn't have exploded like that on them, but I couldn't help it just the mention of that woman makes my blood boil and the fact that they have been basically giving information of my daily activities to her doesn't make it any better. It seems that I already had two stalkers… the irony.

I exhaled loudly; stuck on what to do from now on. I don't want to see them for some days, that's for sure, but I don't want this to break our friendship and I still have to see them at work, so I can't really avoid them, can I?

Too tired to figure out a solution to my predicament, I just kept watching tv with a blank face. I was watching the moving pictures, but it didn't get saved in my mind. Before I knew it, two seasons of friends had already passed.

"I should just go to bed." I told myself in defeat.

…

Standing in a familiar dimly lit room barefoot, my eyes slowly scanned the room. It was a plain room, but dirty. I looked closely at myself and saw that I was covered in scars. Some scars were already healed and other scars were newly made. My body shivered uncontrollably even though my brain hadn't caught up to the situation. My body knew what was happening.

Frantically, I scanned the room for a clock. When my eyes landed on my old alarm, I could feel myself slump down on the hard, cold floor. Numbers on the alarm clock were jumbled up; the clock pointers were both bend strangely. Those were the signs that I needed.

I was dreaming.

To be more exact, I was lucid dreaming. I let out a shivering breath, relieved that it wasn't real, but scared how real it felt. This wasn't an ordinary dream. It was my memory, a memory that I wanted to bury away in to deepest back of my mind.

The air in the room suddenly went stale. From behind the door, I could hear a familiar loud scraping noise that was caused by a bottle, followed by a grunt. My heart has gone rampant; I couldn't breathe. The tears in my eyes welled up. The door made an eerily clicking sound, telling me that he was getting in.

My eyes were fixed on the man with a disgusting smirk on his face and with an empty beer bottle in his hand.

"You're going to be a good girl, right?" He slurred out.

That sentence alone was enough to put me over the edge; I sobbed. Even though I know that this is a dream, the fear that he had implanted in my body can never feel like a dream. I was stuck in place with no way out.

"Please… no." I begged, something that I have been doing over the couples of years that I was living there.

His eyes became blood-shot in rage, not liking what I just said. He made huge heavy strides towards me and grabbed me by the hair. Gnawing on my lower lip, trying to hold back a yelp, he puts his face close to mine.

"Did you just refuse me?" He asked in a menacing voice.

My lower lip quivered. "N-No." I said frantically, shaking my head. Despite me saying that, he slammed my head to the floor, causing me to see black spots and starts kicking me furiously.

"How dare a wench to deny me!? If it was not for me, you would have been sleeping on the streets!" He yelled.

I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but it fell on deafening ears. I was about to pass out like always when my eyes shifted towards a figure who was leaning against the door frame. It was her. She was just standing there quietly observing what her man was doing to her own flesh and blood; not even flinching a finger, trying to help me. I've learned over the years that I shouldn't even bother asking her for help.

I gritted my teeth in anger, glaring at the woman, who supposedly gave birth to me, in full hatred. The edges of my vision became jagged, as if someone was about to cover my eyes with their hands.

I gasp as I woke up in a cold sweat. I panted as if I had done a marathon. I chanted to myself that everything was okay, that I was okay, so that I could calm down.

I sat up and glanced towards my alarm to see it was 3 am. I haven't had that nightmare in months. I must have been under a lot of stress from what was happening, and the talk with Cherry and Brandon must have certainly triggered it.

My phone buzzed and lit up. I glanced to see what was up, only to see a message from Jack. I sighed and grabbed my phone to unlock my screen.

Private Number: "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I said.

Private Number: "Stop lying. You had a nightmare about your cursed parents again, didn't you?"

"It's none of your business Jack, so leave me alone." I groaned. I started to get a headache.

Private Number: "U r business is my business because u r mine. Now do u want to tell me what's wrong or do I have to threaten you again?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I had a nightmare again about them, so what?" I asked, frustrated. "Why are you even asking if you know my life so well?" He knows about my past, but I don't know how much he actually knows. I got away from them about 7 years ago, so he shouldn't know that much.

Private Number: "Of course I know everything about ur life honey ;). I know what your favorite color is to how many bras you have in your drawer."

"That's sexual harassment." I said, a bit freaked out.

Private Number: "But what I don't know is how much damage he had inflicted on u and that makes me blind from anger. So before I go on a rampage because of my imaginations, tell me what that motherfucker has done to u."

"He never raped me, if that is what you were wondering. He did attempt it and after that attempt I ran away." And that attempt was the scariest moment of my life. I hugged myself, trying to push down those memories.

Private number: "That bastard! Torturing them wasn't enough, I see. I should have just killed them."

Wait what? "You tortured them?"

Private number: "Do you really think that I would let those bastards scot free after knowing what they did to you? The only reason I haven't killed them off yet was because I thought that you still had some 'love' left for your mom and I didn't want to do anything that would make you hate me permanently."

So he would risk doing something that would make me hate him as long as it's not permanent. What a gentleman. I rolled with my eyes in my head.

And at the same time, I couldn't help but smile a little, but I covered my mouth with my hand so that he wouldn't see that. Call me messed up, too, but the thought that those monsters got what they deserved filled me up with glee.

'He should really just kill them'

I gave myself a mental slap. No matter what, I shouldn't stoop so low; no matter how much I detest them, I shouldn't wish them death. Like Cherry said, that woman is still my mom, whether or not I like it.

But most importantly, I don't want to be like Jack.

"Don't kill them." I said. "They aren't worth it."

Private number: "They are worthy of my knife."

"I'm not joking." I said.

Private number: "Am I joking?"

I glared at my phone.

Private number: "Fine, I will not kill them, yet."

"Thank you." I said while smiling softly.

He said nothing after that, so I thought I could put my phone away, but my phone started to buzz again.

Private number: "What type of ring do you desire?"

I raised my eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

Private number: "Ruby, sapphire or diamond??"

"Again- what?" He had lost me right now.

Private number: "Our wedding ring!"

"We're not going to get married." I said. This dude's moods change too quickly.

Private number: "But you smiled."

"What has me smiling to do with us getting married?" I asked, puzzled.

Private number: "You never smiled talking to me, not even a grin, so the fact that you're talking to me must mean that you 're opening up to me a.k.a. you're starting to accept me a.k.a. we should get married!" I could feel his excitement seeping through the screen.

Baffled by his commentary, I wasn't able to respond. "I am going to drink a glass of water. Maybe I'll be able to sleep better." I said, trying to get out of my bed.

Private Number: "It's better to drink hot milk before you go to bed (I don't want my baby to have another nightmare)."

I nodded. That sounds pretty good.

Putting the milk in the microwave after pouring it in a teacup, I was waiting to hear a peeping sound. I took after it was done a sip and I was in a bliss.

'Delicious!' This was genuinely good. Jack sure knows what he was saying.

I froze up.

Am I really opening up to him? I mean, there's no way in hell I'll ever see him in a romantic aspect, but I do feel a bit comfortable with him. Maybe it's because he already knows everything about me, and let's not forget how annoyingly flirtatious he is.

I sighed.

We can't keep this up forever, though.

I went back to my room after finishing my milk. I was about to sleep when I saw a new message from Jack.

Private Number: "I love you."

'We just can't.'