Broken

Jiro drops Samantha off at the hotel. She does not utter a word the whole way there. He apologizes a few times about the unexpected encounter, but all she does is nod. He is quite worried about her but he can tell that she does not want to talk about it.

"Thank you for tonight," she finally says.

Jiro notices her bleeding lip but he doesn't comment. He just watches until she disappears into the lobby.

"Damn it," he curses under his breath.

Samantha had asked him to have dinner at a restaurant instead, he could tell that she was afraid she would run into Kei, but Jiro reassured her that he wasn't going to be there. He did not lie, Kei was supposed to be in Kyoto, but he still felt guilty that they met like that.

When Jiro arrives home, he immediately checks his brother's office. He finds Kei sitting at his desk, drunk.

'Oh for God's sake, what is this crazy night?'

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kei's voice roars in every corner of the guest house.

"You were supposed to be in Kyoto," Jiro says, holding his ground.

"Does that make it okay?"

"Samantha is both my and Yoko's friend, and last I checked this is our house too." Jiro clenches his teeth. "So, it is not that big of a deal to have a friend over."

Kei lifts his index and points it at his brother, but he says nothing. He lets his hand fall on the desk in surrender.

"Why didn't you tell me that she was in Japan?" he asks.

"It is not my place, Kei."

"Not your place?" Kei yells. "You are my fucking brother."

"Did you see what happened earlier? Kei, she could not even speak after she saw you. The whole way there, she just stared out of the window and bit her lip until it bled."

"I'm just saying that I would have appreciated the heads up. It's not like I would have gone out of my way to see her. I was surprised too, you know."

Jiro is silent. For some reason, he is angry with Kei. He has blamed him for what happened to Sam for the longest time, since he was sent to be by her side on that cursed day. The day she probably had the most painful experience of her life, because of his brother.

"When did she get here?" Kei utters when he sees that his brother does not plan on saying anything.

"Today," Jiro answers with a clipped voice.

"Is she on vacation?"

"No, she will be teaching at the Tokyo University of Arts. One of their professors has gotten ill and she is replacing him." Kei nods a few times as the information sinks in. "Are you done with your interrogation?"

Kei is silent for a while. "How is she?" he asks in a softer voice.

Jiro looks at his miserable brother and his heart aches for him, all irritation leaving him. He wishes Kei wasn't as stubborn and proud as he is. He would have been happier with Samantha. Maybe living in the US with the woman he loves and who loves him back. Maybe with a few beautiful children, or at least one. But he chose this sad life that is killing him a little every day.

"You guys are both broken," that is all he can say. He looks at him one last time, before walking out of his office.

"Broken," Kei repeats, a long time after his brother has left.

When he saw Sam at the door, his brain froze. He couldn't believe that she was standing in front of him, in his house. It had been so long since he had seen her, but he often thought of her. Every time he did though, a pain shot from his chest. Seeing her was no different, he felt like someone was squeezing his heart tightly.

'Good.'

"Let it fucking burst," Kei utters. "You deserve it, after what you did to her."

He chugs his glass of whiskey, feeling the burning liquid going down his throat. It has been a long day and he needs to get some sleep because tomorrow is going to be even more tedious. He takes a quick shower, then heads to bed.

Unfortunately, as soon as he falls asleep, nightmares plague him. They are filled with blood and killing, but the most heartbroken part was Sam's crying, her hurt eyes staring back at him, and her cracked voice pleading.

Kei wakes up, sweating and out of breath. He shakes his head at the dream, he hasn't had a similar one in a long time.

"Fuck."

When he lies back down, he remembers the time he spent with Samantha. He has always had feelings for her since they were kids, and he could tell she did too. But after he moved to Japan, and after the death of his cousin, things got too complicated to hold on to those feelings any longer.

He tried so hard to keep his distance when Sam moved with them to spend her last quarter in Tokyo. He was even a jerk to her and tried to make her hate him, but she still confessed to him. He blames himself for being too weak and giving in to his feelings for her.

'Had I stood my grounds and rejected her, she would have never gone through what she went through.'

Kei clenches his jaw. He hates himself for what he did and often asks himself whether he would be happier had he chosen Sam over his foolish pride and ambition.

"Would I still be broken, like Jiro called me?"