Refuge At Ground Zero (20.4)

When Val woke up for the first time and actually stayed awake for longer than ten minutes, they were faced with Nia fussing over her.

"You are such an idiot," She said, furiously tucking the other into a blanket and putting some pillows to support her back, "Fucking dumbass, you ran into a burning fucking building, and on top of that, a building collapsed on you—"

Val held up their hands to try and slow Nia down, "Hey, hey, I'm alright, besides, if I didn't go in, who knows what would have happened to Xingxing and Alya—"

"I know!" Nia exclaimed, before going quiet, "I know that," She continued, her voice a bit softer, "I know that, okay? It's just…You fucking scared me. You didn't even wait for us, you just ran in and then the way out caved in, and…Fucking hell, Val, I thought I was watching you run to your death!"

The other sighed, reaching out to take Nia's hands in theirs, "Look, I'm really sorry, okay? It was instinct and adrenaline, I didn't even think before I ran in—"

"No, you didn't," Nia scolded, "Fenix, Owen, and I were right there! Even if I was out of commission, they were both there as well, they could have helped!"

"I'm sorry, Nia," Val said, trying to calm the girl down, "I'm really sorry."

Nia took a deep breath, "Don't do that again. I was fucking terrified, I thought I was never going to see you again—"

"I love you," Val blurted out. 

Nia blushed, "—I love you, too, but don't think you can just be cute and charm your way out of this, I'm genuinely upset—"

"No, I…I think I love you like. More than a friend?" Oh. Well. Val supposed they were going there, "But I don't—I can't tell if it's romantic? Even if it is, it doesn't bother me that you don't return those feelings?"

The other girl took a deep breath and sat down next to Val, "Okay. Let's talk about this because I'm not about to let something like this cause some misunderstanding between us. You think you have romantic feelings for me?"

Val hummed, "I don't know. I've felt like this before but not this strongly? But there's no need for it to be reciprocated I just…Love you and like being around you, and as long as you love me as a friend, I'm happy? I don't need anything more."

Nia nodded, "Okay, I think I kind of get it. Would you say you feel that I'm more like your soulmate than just a friend?"

"Mhm. I think that's the best way to describe it. Soulmates," Val replied, smiling a little bit.

Nia seemed to be processing this and finding a way to explain her words, "Okay, so, I don't feel romantic attraction or anything, that hasn't changed. But I have never connected so closely to someone the way I have with you? I've never clicked with someone the way I did with you. I feel like we're soulmates as well."

"Really?"

Nia nodded, "And also, I feel like…Okay, I'm trying to figure out how to explain it. I think I love you more than a friend as well. But not in a romantic way. And it might be different from the way you love me."

"...I don't think that honestly matters," Val said softly, "Are you okay with the idea of me having possibly romantic feelings for you?

"You understand and are okay with the fact that I'm not going to return those feelings, so yes, I don't mind," Nia said.

"And I'm okay with the fact that you're never going to return the same feelings I have for you, and I'm happy knowing that you love me. And it doesn't hurt me or make me think less of our friendship if you don't return those feelings either," Val explained.

Nia hummed, "I don't think it matters exactly the kind of feelings we have for each other. For both of us, it seems like we're both happy just knowing we love each other. Even if your feelings are romantic and mine are nonromantic, you're not going to make me uncomfortable and I'm not going to hurt you. So, I think we should just…Be ourselves."

Val chuckled, "You know, hearing you talk about this so casually makes me a lot less nervous. I think I really just wanted to tell you because I didn't want to hide it from you."

Nia scratched her neck and looked away, "...Well, you're not as subtle as you think. I was…Starting to get the hint anyway so I kind of had to sit down for a moment and think about it for myself. That's why I'm able to talk about it like this."

"Let me guess. You scared yourself with how okay you were with the idea of me having romantic feelings for you?" Val teased.

"Oh, absolutely. I was freaking out to Fenix about it, with him being demiromantic and all."

Val laughed, "Oh, by the way, Hyunwoo is gray-aromantic, if you want to talk to him as well about it. Do you know what a QPR is?"

"Nope, I don't think I've ever heard of it."

"It means 'Queerplatonic Relationship'. It's basically what we say we are, like soulmates. More than friends, but not romantic in the slightest."

"Oh. That's cool," Nia said.

Val smiled, "Wanna be in a QPR with me?" They grinned.

Nia shoved them lightly, smiling back, "You're such a fucking dork. Anyway, don't think you got out of the conversation we were having before!" Her tone went back to serious, "Promise me, you won't do anything like that again without telling us beforehand."

"But—"

"Promise, Val," Nia said sternly, holding her finger out.

Val sighed, "Jesus, why do I love you?" They put their little finger out and curled it around Nia's finger, "Alright, fine. I promise that I won't pull any bullshit without announcing what I'm going to do beforehand."

"I'd prefer you just promised not to pull the bullshit to begin with but I'll take what I can get," Nia muttered.

"By the way, where are they? Xingxing and Alya, I mean," Val asked, looking around the room. As though she was just waiting for someone to say her name, the black kitten jumped up onto the bed near Val's feet, slowly stalking over to her and curling up in her lap, "Well, that's one down," Val murmured, stroking Alya's back, "Where's Xingxing?"

"Last I saw, Apocalypse gave her off to Chaewon and Elliot because the possession leaves Risále exhausted and she needs to rest," Nia said, "By the way, isn't it kind of weird that like…The fearsome ghost queen is like…Really good with kids? Makes you wonder what other things people have lied about…"

Val shrugged, "Well, it's not like anyone actually said she was bad with kids, we just kind of assumed that since, you know, when the White Lotus spread that story of her being a mass murderer it also meant that she probably someone who had no feelings."

"Hm," Nia hummed, "It's still the same point though. I don't think we actually know anything about her other than the stories and rumors everyone spread."

"Are you saying we should talk to her more?"

"No, she scares me."

Val threw their hands up in frustration, "You were the one that brought up the fact that we know nothing about her! And we're not going to know more if no one asks!" 

"Well then, you ask!"

"Nia, you little—"

"Am I interrupting?" Hyunwoo was leaning against the door, arms crossed as he raised an eyebrow, "Please don't beat each other up, you both literally just recovered from serious back injuries, and Val you had a close call for a serious spinal injury."

Val rolled their eyes, "Yes, Hyunwoo-Anna, I got it. Anyways, what's up?" 

Hyunwoo looked at Nia, and the girl seemed to get the hint, and nodded, "I'll go hang out with Risále, I want to go bother her about Bella."

"Be merciful, demon child," Hyunwoo called after her, before turning to Val, "I told you I would tell you what happened when I was with Risále, Bella, and Leon after you left. After…She showed up."

Val's demeanor changed entirely at the mention of Veronica. They shifted, sitting up straighter, "Tell me."

"She didn't actually…Do anything, don't worry," Hyunwoo said beforehand, "She just…Provoked me. Said some shit that threw me off guard. More than anything, she brought the…The guards. The men that…Did everything to me."

Val was seething, "I'm going to kill her," She muttered, "Seriously, I won't spare her, I'm not giving her another chance to get away."

"Are you sure about this?" Hyunwoo asked, "I just want to be sure, I don't want you to regret it after. Are you completely sure that killing her is what's going to make you feel better?"

"Listen, as much as I would like to say I'm a good person and that I wouldn't feel good after, at this point, I want nothing more than to bury her six feet under the ground myself. For what she did to Lumina, to you, and to me. And probably plenty of other people if we're being honest. I don't care if I'm not the one who kills her. But I hope she suffers," Val said matter-of-factly.

Hyunwoo sighed, "Well, I'm not going to try and change your mind. Then again, I suppose this isn't too difficult to come to terms with, seeing as she's barely human to start with. I hope you'll forgive me if I get to her first."

"You'll have to beat me first, old man," They poked Hyunwoo's shoulder.

"I'm only two years older than you, Val. Anyway, Risále and Leon know now. So, if you want to kill Veronica, you're going to have to beat them. Oh, and Mina and Xander, of course."

"You know," Val said, "I think the person who might get to her first is honestly probably Mina. She's incredibly vicious."

Hyunwoo raised an eyebrow, "Honestly? My bet is on Xander. Never underestimate the anger of an older brother whose younger sister has been hurt that badly by someone."

"That's fair. But there's one thing that's just as terrifying."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

Val grinned, "The anger of a younger sibling who knows exactly what their older brother had to go through."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Hyunwoo called for whoever it was to come in, and Nia walked in, "Sorry to interrupt you guys but…" She tilted her head towards the open door, "We're here."

Val hadn't even noticed the shuttle had stopped.