Restless Interlude (22.1)

"We need to talk," Risále said, as soon as the tablet turned on to show Leon sitting in a room alone, "Is anyone else in the room right now, or can anyone overhear us?"

Leon looked confused, "Uh…No? Why? What's going on, Risá?" He asked, seeming to grow more and more concerned.

Risále sighed, but whether it was in relief or out of weariness, it wasn't obvious, "Firstly, I should tell you this, I know you're a cyborg, too. I know they experimented on you the way they did on me. I know they put you in the gifted-child program and that we both came out on top."

Leon was growing pale by the second, "How did you…"

"I started remembering, and then Hyunwoo filled in the blanks for me," Risále replied, "But I had my suspicions of you being a cyborg for a few months now, even back before we went into Sector 2."

"...How much do you know?"

"They manipulated us into doing what they wanted us to do, and they used Chaewon against you. I remember that De Luca bastard much more now, I was always terrified he'd do something to you when he took you away—"

Leon shook his head, "Nothing like that. He…I don't know if he would have done it but the thing was that he didn't need to. I was already extremely codependent since he was the only one there who acted as if he cared about me after Chaewon disappeared, he already had me wrapped around his finger," He shivered.

Risále's eyes softened, "I wish I could have done more," She said quietly.

"It's alright, there wasn't anything you could have done," Leon said, "Do you remember anything else?"

The girl was quiet for a moment, "You had the right idea, you know?" She laughed without humor, "By not telling me much about our past, you at least let me be free of what we did for a little while."

"Oh no," Leon said quietly, "What…What was it?"

Risále hesitated, "You know how everyone in Sector 4 doesn't remember being in Sector 4 and doesn't remember Apocalypse?" She asked, and Leon nodded, "Apocalypse was wondering how they even managed to do that on a larger scale and I just…Answered her. It was as if I'd always known that information but I know I did not know that until she asked me that at that moment."

"You…Answered her? Do you know how they did it?" Leon asked.

"So, you don't know," Risále let out a small laugh, "I guess I never told you before I lost my memories, then," She looked down, "It was a clear, odorless gas, almost like fog but invisible. They spread through the vents of homes and when people opened their windows, it was released into the air and circulated."

Leon was silent, before asking quietly, "...How do you know this?"

Risále took a deep breath, "I made the amnesiac," She whispered, "They told me to make it and I did, and it displaced so many people, it made people forget an entire Sector existed, and it's my fault."

Leon looked at her sympathetically, "Risá, you know you didn't do it of your own free will—"

"Do I know that, Leon?" Risále asked, "Because right now, I'm not sure I know anything about myself. I know they didn't force me into making that gas, and I knew that it was wrong when I was doing it, but I didn't stop, did I? So, do I really know if I did it against my will?"

The other man sighed, rubbing his forehead, "You did it against your will, Risá. I know you did because there was only one thing you ever refused to tell me, and it was because you regretted doing it. We were assigned all the same assignments, and if not, we were both always aware of each other's assignments. What was the code name for this one?"

Risále thought about it, "I think it was Project Silencio."

"Yeah, Project Silencio was the only one they never let me know about," Leon said, "And you came to me, crying, telling me that you shouldn't have done it, that you really didn't know. When I asked you what happened, what you did, you said you couldn't tell me. You did regret it, Risá."

It took her a moment, but finally, Risále slumped over, sighing in relief, "Thank God," She whispered, "If I really didn't regret then…I would have hated myself so much," She looked back up at him, "Leon?"

"Yeah?"

"How…How bad was everything else we did? Was it this bad?"

Leon winced, "Well if this was really bad in the sense that it affected such a large scope of people, then not that bad. But if you mean just…ethically…I won't lie to you, Risá. We really let some terrible things happen to some innocent people."

"Owen," Risále said, "I remember. He attacked me once."

"He apologized," Leon said.

"He shouldn't have had to," Risále said sadly, "I played a part in traumatizing him, didn't I?"

Leon sighed, "It wasn't you specifically, you know? He attacked you on instinct. All he saw was that you wore a white coat as well, just like the people that hurt him. You were the kindest to him out of everyone."

"...Really?" Risále asked.

"Really," Leon nodded, "You were his favorite because you never hurt him. You were the only one allowed to interact with him. Maybe if the other gifted children had—"

"There were other gifted children at the same time as us?" Risále asked, surprised.

Leon hesitated, "...Yes."

"What happened to them?"

"Risá, don't—"

"Leon. What happened to them."

No matter how firm she seemed, though, it looked as though Leon was set on not saying it, and she faltered as she noticed how it looked like he was almost in pain when he opened his mouth.

"That's enough, Risá," Someone spoke. Risále looked up to see Hyunwoo, closing the door to the room, "Don't make him say it. If you really need to know, you can ask me instead."

Risále was beginning to think that perhaps, she shouldn't ask. But something deep within her needed to know. Something ugly was crawling under her skin, this horrible feeling as though she knew what Hyunwoo would say, but she asked anyway, "What happened to them?"

Hyunwoo took a deep breath, "I was there. I didn't see it happen but…I was there for the aftermath," He said, sitting down next to Risále, "There were ten other children that were selected, just like you two. Very early on, when you were both only around ten, you tried to escape with all those other kids. You got caught. The White Lotus…Their punishments are always inhumane. Insane."

"They wanted to teach the leaders of the escape attempt a lesson," Another voice said from Leon's side.

"Bella?" Hyunwoo asked.

The woman came into view on the screen, "They told the gifted children and child scientists at other branches what happened to keep us in line. That's the only reason I know," She looked back at Risále, "They took all twelve of you and basically put you in what I can only describe as a death match."

Risále paled, "No…"

"It was survival of the fittest, and I need you to understand—Look at me, Risále—You had no choice in this matter. Anyone who refused was killed on the spot. Neither of you had any autonomy in this situation. It was not your fault, do you hear me? You are not the reason they died," Bella said firmly.

Leon muttered, "If we had just managed to escape then it wouldn't have happened to start with. If only I had gotten them out of there—"

"We both made the plan to escape together, didn't we?" Risále interrupted him, "If you're so convinced that it was your fault, then you have to blame me as well. Do you think it's my fault as well that we got caught?"

"No, of course not—"

"So, it's not your fault either. And don't argue with me on this, Leon," She said, in a tone that implied that the conversation was over.

"She's right, darlin'," Hyunwoo said, "It wasn't your fault, neither of you. And this is going to be a harder pill to swallow for both of you, but neither of you is to blame for those other children dying either."

Risále swallowed, "So, Leon and I, we both…"

"They were going to make both of you fight each other as well originally," Hyunwoo clarified, "But they felt that it would be…Better to let you both live with the guilt since you both lead the escape attempt."

Bella sighed, "You both never questioned them again, which was understandable, of course. At that point, you only had each other, and Leon had Hyunwoo. I'd guess, you were both too afraid of losing what you had, and that's why you never fought back and did whatever they wanted."

"Until we were sixteen," Leon spoke up softly, looking at Risále, "You found something that pushed you over the edge. I could never get you to talk about it though but it was as if your hatred for the White Lotus overtook any survival instinct you had left. And that was when they locked you up and I helped you escape."

Risále was quiet, "Did I say anything about what it was? The thing that I found out?" She asked. All three of the other people there shook their heads and Risále cursed, "Fuck, I swear, it's something important but it's like a block in my mind, I genuinely have no idea…"

Hyunwoo put a hand on her shoulder, "Don't force it. You'll remember eventually, alright, sweetheart?"

Risále sighed, "I…I need to take a walk," She muttered, standing up and leaving the room quickly.

Leon looked after her worriedly, but Hyunwoo reassured him, "Don't worry, love, I'll go after her and make sure she's alright in a bit. She needs some space to process right now and besides, she's got Apocalypse with her."

Bella looked at Leon, "...You mentioned her memories had melded together, I just didn't realize how much…"

"It's making it harder and harder for her to recognize the truth," Leon sighed, "The situations are all the same, no wonder it's taking her longer to realize compared to everyone else. Even if she remembers the past times, they're so similar for her that she can barely tell there were any past times. Everything leading up to our escape when we were sixteen was always the same, the only thing that she doesn't seem to remember is the outcome."

Hyunwoo spoke up, "Leon, when you guys escaped…Did you both actually escape? Or is that just what you told her."

Leon looked down, "It's better she thinks it was worth it, to risk me and more importantly, that you didn't go through all of that….just for a failed escape attempt," He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I didn't find out until after that they caught her again…It was just by luck that they didn't kill her. It's why she has that gap in her memory between her time as a scientist and when she met Lumina and Mina. They had her in a coma."

"So, does that apply in…You know, all the senses?" Bella asked, hinting toward what they could not openly speak about, "She was in a coma?"

The blonde nodded, "Yeah, but she doesn't remember it. Nothing at all. And don't tell her…At least not yet. This is already a lot to process at once, she doesn't need more right now."

"I think she'd disagree…" Hyunwoo sighed, "It seems like she wants to know everything now, whether it's good for her or not," Standing up, he rubbed his forehead, "I should go find her, make sure she's okay…"

Leon nodded, "Go, hyung. She needs you."

Bella leaned over him, "We'll call you guys later, alright? Go take care of our girl, will you, Violets?" 

Hyunwoo smiled, "Of course, she's our girl, after all."

As the call ended, Leon realized something.

"Wait, since when was Risále also my girl?"

Bella simply looked at him, unimpressed.